Ok i'm about 10 weeks pregnant and everything has been great until yesterday. My childs father wants me to have an abortion and I refuse to do it! He said he wont be a part of this childs life and I don't understand cause he was so excited at first. I told him I don't need him to be a part of the babys life and I would be fine by myself but I really want him to be there what should i do. I'm keeping my baby for sure!
2006-12-23 02:14:28 · 21 answers · asked by tobeloved64 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Lose that zero and find yourself a hero.
2006-12-23 02:17:29 · answer #1 · answered by Chula 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋
First of all don't lie and say you don't "need him to be a part of the babys life" because youdo need him and you want him to be. Plus, that is not your choice to make for the child. Every child has the right to have a relationship with their Dad and it is unfair when Moms decide that the child doesn't "need" to have a relationship with the father.
Second of all, I think he may have just gotten overwhelmed, maybe someone told him about having a child and how difficult it is and he may be worried about his freedom after the baby is born. He might be worried about the finances after the baby is born.
Thirdly, don't give up on him, try to include him in the ultrasounds, all the doctors visits and encourage him. Give him the confidence that he will be a good Dad, many guys fear that they will be a bad Dad. Maybe he realized that he does not love you and you are not the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, but don't let that stop you from making him a part of your child's life. It is very very important he/she knows his father.
PLEASE, don't listen to the people that are telling you "oh if he doesn't want to be part of the baby's life then let him go." No that is wrong and a great injustice to your child. Just remember if he is not there the child will feel the result of that and will suffer. Encourage a relationship between them, that is something you should really try to do as a mother. He's just a probably a confused young guy and needs some guidance and encouragment. He doesn't know what's right, you are wiser, you know what is right. I'm not telling you to marry the guy or force him to live with you but make sure that him and child spend time together atleast a once or twice a week.
2006-12-23 02:26:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him he is a real looser and that's the nicest that i can say for him. You don't need him to be there with that attitude in time he will see that he is wrong but then it may be to late and his child will want nothing to do with him. And even if he don't want to see his child he can still pay child support after all it is his child and he should still take part of the responsibility for it. you sound like you have your mind made up on your baby don't let some jerk change it you would regret an abortion for the rest of your life. i wish you and your baby the best of luck in life.
2006-12-23 02:26:20 · answer #3 · answered by hippie_chick69love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, of course:
CONGRATULATIONS!
Don't let anyone else's self-indulgent drama dim the fact that you are going to be a MOM...You deserve to be happy, and you will.
This is your first test as a new Mom, and the answer is as obvious to you as it is to us:
Your wants and wishes are going to come second to your child's needs.
Dad may be able to get over his knee-jerk fear reaction, but that's not your problem...Stress is also damaging to a new and developing fetus, and your resolve is your child's protection.
Dad's problems with reality are not yours to fix or worry about, and you must first decide that nothing and noone will come between you and delivering a healthy child.
Many men react in a similar way to the shocking news that everything in their life is about to change...but mostly because we as humans tend to imagine the worst first, and realize how wrong we were later.
I'm saying that time may heal this wound, but if not then you have made a nescessary and responsible decision to move forward without the hinderance of a partner who doesn't respect you enough to ask your wishes or even discuss possibilities before demanding a selfish resolution that suits his present state.
You're carrying the future in your womb, your future...the person you were meant to be will become reality over the next couple of years.
Strong, Reliable, Responsible, and Loving...Mom.
You've already made the right decision in allowing the natural course of your life so far to unfold...and he has a similar decision to make.
2006-12-23 03:04:30 · answer #4 · answered by PopsGifts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have seen this situation played out many many times before. I will offer you this advice....
If a man decides that he does not wish to be a part of a child's life, then put simply do not force it. Your boyfriend has illustrated total contempt for the beautiful child that is growing inside of you, and on that basis alone you should seriously consider cutting all ties with this man.
You, as an expectant mother, do not need the stress of this man in your life at a time where you are vulnerable. You should be aware that babies in utero (Inside you) as they grow are aware of goings on around them well before they are formed into a recogniseable baby. Yelling and screaming, as well as emotional stresses transfer from you to your baby. In order to avoid stressing your baby you should abstain from all stressful contact with anyone who is likely to be opposed to your situation.
I will personally congratulate you for taking the brave step to keep this child that you have created. While you may wish you never wound up pregnant to someone who does not want to be a father to your child, I say it is probably for the best.
You should move at this time to have his rights taken away as a parent, as many men who get a woman pregnant, and then decide to run and leave them in your situation often turn around and try to cause you stress and trauma just to be complete jerks. It is in your best interests to get hold of these papers and get them signed as soon as possible.
As a man who would love to experience the miracle of creating a family, I am appalled that there are men who would turn their backs on something so small, beautiful and innocent as a baby that they had no problem creating. This is obviously a huge character flaw in the man whom you thought you loved....In my eyes no real man would ever treat a woman he told he loved this way. He really is a miserable excuse for a man....He is a little boy.
As for you, You are obviously a great woman and do not be disheartened. I am sure the child growing inside of you will bestow on you many many blessings and a happiness you will be eternally greatful for.
I hope that you are blessed with a beautiful healthy baby!! Dont ever make the mistake of thinking that a good man will not come your way either- dont let this experience dishearten you- there are good men who will love you and the child who is a part of you.
If you ever want to see what good men are capable of doing for a woman that they love, read the book of Ruth in the Bible. It is only short (a few pages) but it will give you comfort.
Good luck for you and your baby.
Matty
2006-12-23 02:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by naughtiest_nurse_of_em_all 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see your boyfriend is scared of responsibilities. SO just ignore him because if you worry too much about him, it will certainly affect the baby's development inside. Our emotional status is a great factor in the child's behavior or health when he is growing up. SO, forget about your coward boyfriend and focus on your pregnancy. Stop worrying, eat healthy and nutritious foods and be with people who care about you. I am sure, if your boyfriend is afraid of his future responsibilities, there are more people who are excited about your baby and who will be willing to help you. When the baby is out, your boyfriend will realize his folly and eventually try to be near you both. Don't force him as doing so will only make him think you are weak. Remember, your baby is more important than your bf. If he runs away now, well that is good for you, it's better to know how one deals with his responsibilities than be sorry later if you force him to be a father to his child now. Be strong girl and good luck.
2006-12-23 03:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by brainyluscious 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that it is harder for guys to feel connected to the baby when you are pregnant, but once the baby is here he may change his way of thinking. My husband(was my boyfriend when I was pregnant) flipped out and accused me of getting pregnant on purpose and he now regrets that every day now that we have our son! I wish you the best and send a (((HUG))). I know it can be difficult, but you can do it and it will only make you a stronger better person!!
2006-12-23 02:25:08 · answer #7 · answered by MommyX2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance also asked me to get an abortion when I was pregnant with our first. I didn't listen. He regrets even asking me to do it now. Our daughter will be three in April and she's a total daddy's girl. It's great that you're keeping your baby and he may just be scared right now. He could always change his mind like he did before. That usually happens when the baby starts kicking. Good luck and congratulations.
2006-12-23 02:18:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Have the baby but don't plan on him being there. You can sue him for child support but you can't make him want to be a father.
2006-12-23 02:22:45 · answer #9 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to be part of the little one's life, hon, then you can't force him. If you need to talk someone into doing something, then there's something wrong and it won't work out.
It's possible that he's just scared and may come around eventually, but don't get your hopes up.
As hard as it is to have to deal with this kind of thing while you're pregnant, you really must concentrate on looking after yourself and the bubby. Surround yourself with supportive people, learn everything you can about what's going to happen once bub's here, and once bub is here, love him or her so much they won't even notice if their dad isn't around.
Best of luck to you, honey, truly.
2006-12-23 02:19:33 · answer #10 · answered by Donna M 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you think you can raise the baby, then keep it, otherwise it will be very hard, and it's expensive. Do you have a job and health insurance? Does he work, you'll have to take him to court for child support.
It's not easy to be a single mom!
2006-12-27 01:02:04 · answer #11 · answered by Cristine D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋