2006-12-23 01:13:22 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You can't. Just let her live her own life. If you nag or push her too hard, you'll push her away.
2006-12-23 01:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
You're 22 yo daughter is a young woman. Although you can't really stop her from shacking up with a guy, you can give her some idea about guys in general, who want to shack up and while not making any commitments. You did not provide the guy's age in your question, so I'll assume he's the same age.
Tell her that a man who can not make a commitment with the woman he wants to live with is typically a man who will never change that position. Whatever his mental problems about marriage are, she will never change him. That's one thing you can tell her.
You can also tell her that many people make the mistake of shacking up or marrying a person, in the hopes or misguided belief that the person will change, later on. That the person will learn to love them more as the months and years go by.
Meanwhile, the guy gets an otherwise intelligent woman to live with him; while she waits and waits for years and years for him to propose, to set a date and so on. Once she lives with him, why should he? He already has her!
It's truly her loss, but make sure she understands this well - that it is her gamble. You obviously love your daughter, so after those things are explained to her, and she still wants to do that, give her your blessings or risk losing her. Tell her she can always come home and that you will be there for her.
2006-12-23 01:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by curly bob 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Um well lets see, you cant! She's 22, just leave her alone. She'll do waht she wants, when she wants and yuor should be tryin to stop her. Your suppose to be her mother, not a control freak. You have NO right to tell your daughter what to do anymore. And I hope if you try she doesnt listen. Thats one of the most disrespectful things any mother can do to her children. You dont have a say in what she does or where she goes. Plain and Simple.
2006-12-23 01:49:05 · answer #3 · answered by Ash420Granito 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't....... at that age she's old enough to drive, smoke, drink, vote, and therefore a fully fledged adult......... so all you can do is sit back, grumble a bit, cross your fingers you did a good job raising her, be there when she needs advice........ at some point all kids grow up, and have to start learning things from the school of hard knocks + the school of life.
2006-12-23 15:18:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't stop her now because she is 22, but, you can voice your concerns but, she will probably go ahead with her plans, just wish her the best it may work out great, if it doesn't just be there for her.
2006-12-23 02:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
at 22 she is an adult... how people behave as adults comes from how they were raised..
our most formative years are 0-5... every thing that happens later in life is often related to how we formed mentally durring those years...
so while it might seem far fetched...her self esteme formed then - her abilty to stand up for herself or to allow her self certain rights formed then...
at 22 she is making her own choice and she may regret it later.. but its hers to regret
ALSO the MORE you say against it - THE MORE she will try to prove you wrong.. SO DO NOT SAY ANYTHING MAJOR AGAINST IT...
2006-12-23 02:51:26 · answer #6 · answered by CF_ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she's 22, you don't. if she knows how you feel, and has shacked up with him anyway, there's no way you are going to convince her that you're right.
2006-12-23 01:17:34 · answer #7 · answered by mxzptlk 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You cannot, and don't take it as failing as a parent because other influences in her life helped her make that decision. As long as you know in your heart of hearts that you did your best as a parent then you can just rest that you did your job. I would say just pray for her and allow her to live her life as only she can change it not you.
2006-12-23 02:08:28 · answer #8 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't. You need to accept she is an adult and you are long since done raising, now sit back and see how good a job you did.
2006-12-23 01:18:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let her go,even if you think/know it's a mistake.
Our kids,like us need to learn from our own mistakes.
We didn't listen to our parents when we were young,did we?
It's about growing up.I know it's painful(been there),but everyone has to experience it to understand.
Good luck & Happy Holidays!
2006-12-23 01:24:28 · answer #10 · answered by freebird_237 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't, she is an adult. Her choice, good or bad. Offer your opinion and let her learn for herself. The more you try to stop it the more she'll go for it.
2006-12-23 01:17:46 · answer #11 · answered by Ian 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋