How can I stop this horrible landlord ruining Christmas?

Question

My boyfriend of 3 years has got friendly with the landlord in our local pub, he is a fat spotty midget with a son who's a policeman but my boyfriend is fit. We moved here to get away from trouble cos my boyfriend was a handful and always in fights.The landlord keeps him there giving him drinks and winding him up, it's a dead end village pub in Wales with half a dozen customers all male chauvinists, prehistoric thinking and they don't like women in there. I collect him but I'm beginning to feel that they are taking the piss out me too. He often starts a fight when he comes home but only when he's been there. The landlord has said a couple of really rude things to me but my boyfriend said he didn't hear them and that I'm being stupid. I don't want us to split up because of a horrible alcoholic man...it sounds stupid but my Dad died about 6 weeks ago and I'm feeling so very low...if only Dad was here he would go and punch all of their lights out

Answer 1

The real problem here is that your boyfriend is'nt giving you the time and support you need from him. There's no way he should be out drinking down the pub most nights, he should be with you at this most awful time for you.
If the landlord is causing trouble your boyfriend shouldnt go there anymore, the place sounds like a boring dive anyway! Hardly worth keep going back to! The fact they don't like woman going in there shows its no place worth going to.
Your boyfriend should believe you when you say you think the landlord has said stuff about you or at least should talk to you about what you think the landlord has said and certainly not call you stupid.
It sounds really harsh and I can only go by what you have told me so I don't know the good bits about your boyfriend. But it strikes me that this guy doesn't bring anything positive into your life anyway.
It would be alot to take to lose your Dad then split up with your boyfriend but maybe you should start to consider it now and bide you time until you feel emotionally strong enough to leave him?
If not, your boyfriend needs to get his act together and give you the respect you are currently not getting from him.

Best of luck and I hope you can somehow have a good christmas.

Answer 2

Im really sorry about your Dad. As far as your BF though , place blame where blame is due. The fat landloard might be a jerk but your boyfriend needs to be the one to stay home and not at the pub. If he doesn't understand that in the future you may just be stuck with a landlord of your own.

Answer 3

First, I'm so sorry about your dad--this must be a very depressing time for you.

From what you said, it doesn't sound like the landlord is FORCING your boyfriend to drink. He's going down there and drinking because he chooses to. And who is the "horrible alcoholic man"--the landlord or your boyfriend? I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 4

sounds to me that it's not the landlord who's creating the problem, it's your boyfriend! He's down the pub getting drunk and starting fights while you're grieving! Moving has clearly not kept him out of trouble. He needs to be told that his behavour is damaging your relationship, perhaps for good. Do you have other family you can go to for Christmas, and leave the pig where he is?

Answer 5

It sounds like your boyfriend is choosing his landlord over you. Personally, I don't think I would want to be someone who would tolerate somebody disrespecting me so blatantly. It really isn't the landlords fault though. It is your boyfriend. My advice is to run far far away. You can't change someone who doesn't want to change. Sorry

Answer 6

i`m really sorry about ur dad i know how u feel. sit down wiv ur boyfriend and have a heart to heart wiv him and tell him how ur feeling both about ur dad and about how he is wen he gets back from the pub and how it`s making u feel. if he loves u he will listen to u

Answer 7

Lose the boyfriend, you deserve someone better.

Answer 8

Your BF is at fault, start there!