He said some very mean and cruel things to me...fight almost got physically violent. When we get along we really get along great like best friends, but if and when we start to argue it's really out of control and bad. He has a quick temper and I won't put up w/it don't feel I should have to walk on eggshells for anybody, even family.
2006-12-22 22:35:35 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm just tired of forgiving him for all the messed up things he has said and done to me.. he was emotionally and physically abusive to me as a child (he's 7 yrs older) and as an adult ive tried to put all that behind me. I only c him once in awhile cuz he lives out of state but when I do we either have a great time or it's total drama. I don't know if I'm ready to forgive for all the mean things he just said to me the other day, so if I go to Xmas im just gonna feel mad hurt and uncomfortable in his presence. What would you do?
2006-12-22 22:48:06 · update #1
I don't know exactly what was said. But the holiday is to celebrate the birth of Christ, who is the holy symbol of God's forgiveness. I believe your family would probably feel saddened if you were to avoid the holiday gathering at home as well. So for the sake of your other family members, parents other siblings. I would go, and just try and keep contact with your brother to a minimum until the tension wears off.
2006-12-22 22:42:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely go home for Christmas in my opinion. The bottom line is, that no matter what has happened between the two of you, past or present, he is still your brother. Look at it this way...God forbid, what if something happened to him and he wasn't around anymore...You would feel guilty for not making peace with your brother. Plus, you shouldn't miss out on seeing the rest of your family b/c of your brother. I'm sure they all want to see you and would be disappointed if you didn't come. Maybe you just need to sit down with your brother and try to have a "heart-to-heart" conversation and let him know about everything that's on your mind. Try not to get mad too easily and try to bite your tongue sometimes. I'm not saying let him walk all over you and be a complete asshole to you, but just try to have a little patience and surely y'all can work things out. It's Christmas! It's all about spending time with your loved ones and enjoying what time you do have with them. Life is too short to fight and stay mad and not forgive each other, because we are never guaranteed a tomorrow...
2006-12-22 23:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by brandi3341 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go home for Christmas. Your brother isn't the only person you should spend the day with. Don't let him get you into an argument or a confrontation. It sounds to me like he's got some real mental/social issues that are long term and unresolved. It takes two people to have a fight so don't be the second one no matter what he says or does. But don't let HIS problems ruin your holiday with the rest of your family!
2006-12-23 02:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let anyone ruin Christmas with the rest of my family...you should definitely still go. It's one day out of the year to put up with people who bother you .My wife and her brother have a very similar re;ationship to the one you described. She's pleasant to him but spends most of her time with the rest of the family when we're there. He has done and said some very hurtful things to her but she has forgiven him and moved on. I suggest you try to do the same. He will always be your Brother and you'll always share that connection and that love no matter how mad you get at each other.
2006-12-23 02:32:31 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys love each other and i know you do because of the question you should go home for Christmas love conjures all
no matter what the problem is you both should want to solve it I can tell you that out of experience one of you has to be the bigger person and try sitting down and talking about what ever the problem is and resolve it because you love each other and pride has to take a back seat in fact loose the pride its not all its cracked up to be pride always comes right before the fall think about whats more important to you your brother or your pride
2006-12-22 22:44:30 · answer #5 · answered by bonestra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, You shouldnt NOT go for xmas, just because of that, but just let your family knows, that if n e thing happens, that you'll be leaving beofre it gets to the really out of control point, but hopefully, because it's xmas, everyone should try to get along and remember that they are family, and xmas is a time of forgiving and fogettin and making new starts :)
all the best!!
2006-12-22 22:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well even if he is wrong. We have to forgive. If you feel you don't have to at least feel we should. He is your brother. I don't know if you believe in God but if you do pray for him. I will also keep you in prayer. I hope you go be with your family anyway. Have a Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year!
2006-12-22 22:42:18 · answer #7 · answered by Chhaya05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely go and see your family for Xmas. Even if you guys don't really get along that great; you never know what can happen. Life is short. Don't waste it on anger and sadness.
2006-12-23 01:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by dannyLinear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should go! Dont let that dork ruin your fun... especially if other forms of family are going to be there. Even through thr thoughest fights, your still family. You know you love him and you chould be with your family of Christmas anyways. Good Luck!
2006-12-23 01:38:56 · answer #9 · answered by Ash420Granito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go home unless he is the only family you are going home to. Don't deprive yourself of your family because you have a hard time with one of them. If things start going bad between you, remember that it is often better to be kind than to be right. -Merry Christmas
2006-12-22 22:48:33 · answer #10 · answered by Daniel J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋