I am a birth mother who placed my son for an open adoption 5 years ago. I still see my son every 2 years or so, (we live over 10,000 miles apart). Do you think he will want to contact me or even visit me in the future? Are boys that curious about their blood bond with their birth parents?
2006-12-22 22:26:54 · 14 answers · asked by hilfigirl1o1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
omg i am going to cry.......let me tell you my daughter was placed up for adoption 11 years ago. she ran away from her adopted family 2 years ago searching for me....... this is going to be our first christmas together.....so the answer is yes hun they come back........cheer up be happy ok
2006-12-22 23:05:15 · answer #1 · answered by jittarbug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not a yes or no answer to this, each person is different, my step mother put my twin brothers up for adoption, i found them last year for them if anything they would like to meet her just the once to at least know why she had them adopted. In this case it was the best thing for the boys but not everyone like her!
My brother was forced to have his daughter adopted especially after her mother died, he has contact with her twice a year and when she's old enough she wants to go and live with him.
It all depends on your son only he will know when he is ready
2006-12-23 02:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by Netty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe he will, the majority of adopted children do want to know their birth parents and the easier you can make it for him the better. Some adoptees are put off by not knowing where to start to search or they might be frightened of what they might find especially if they fear you may reject them or not be that interested. If you can make him aware of where you are and that when he's ready you will want to be in his life, you will make things easier on you both. It's not going to be easy because adoption carries a lot of baggage for all parties concerned, adoptees don't want to be disloyal to the parents that raised them, he may be angry with you for giving him up, there are so many raw emotions involved and they're all valid and need to be worked through so you have to be prepared for lots of angst etc but it will be worth it if you can work things out and have a long term relationship with your son. Boys are just as curious as girls but obviously everyone's situation is different so there are no guarantees how he will feel about things as he gets older but if he's not ready in 10 years time he may be ready in 20, these things take time. There's also no guarantee what sort of relationship he will want to have with you - some adoptees want to be more involved than others - so be prepared that he may want to play things very cool for a long time because boys more than girls don't like to get too emotional about reunions etc but that again will depend entirely on each individual.
I hope your son will want to talk to you in 10 years time and Good Luck with your relationship with him.
2006-12-23 03:06:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One can never tell the future however if you keep in touch with your son and show him that you love him no matter what the circumstances were for giving him up explain to him why you did what you did and just continue to love him boy or girl has nothing to do with it children are people too and we all want to be loved especially by our birth parents time will tell what he wants to do take one day at a time
2006-12-22 23:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by bonestra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im adopted, my parents are wonderful and i truely believe i was destined to be with the family i am. my birth mother contacted me and we wrote for awhile but we don't anymore cause i stopped it. I could'nt be bothered. She means nothing to me, she gave birth to me that's all.
Everything might work out for you but dont build up you hopes he may not want to know because he see's no point to having a relationship with you.
I know this sounds cruel but that's just the way it is
2006-12-23 00:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by Delete 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only time will tell on that question, no-one can tell you what your son will want or feel in ten years time, you must be going thro it all and obvs had very good reasons too put him up for adoption, he will probably will still want too see you, but i cant answer the question for sure. i wish you well and hope things turn out well for u, good luck xx
2006-12-22 23:04:35 · answer #6 · answered by jen10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you keep the lines of communication open I'm sure he'll want to continue the contact with you as he grows older. Good luck.
2006-12-23 04:55:46 · answer #7 · answered by F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as he grows older and if he has been to.d that he is adopted then yes i would imagine he would want to get in contact with you, he is bound to be curious about why you gave him away and what you look like and does he have any similarities to you, it may not be the reunion you have dreamt about with him flinging his arms around you as he may resent the fact you gave him away so you will have to prepare yourself for that as well
2006-12-22 23:15:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stock up on cards for every occasion and write you feelings in them. Even if you don't post them he'll get to see them when he's older and he'll know how you feel and have loads to talk about.
2006-12-23 00:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
at one point in his life, he will wonder who his actual mother is and will be curiou and the "blood bond" you just have to be patient
2006-12-23 01:00:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋