My husband have had problems controlling his anger, even physically. It got so bad that I opted for a divorce. Even time he goes extremely overboard when we have disagreements, after everything blows over he says that he is sorry. I finally got him to go to the Mental Health center and the therapist thinks he has Borderline personality, Assessive Compulisve, and acute Bipolar. She says he occured the disorder as a child and it went untreated and that is why he acts so beligerent when he becomes angry or jealous. It's hard for me to cope with him at times and stresses me out. What are some articles I can read to better educate me on these problems. If he gets worse, do you think I am being selfish and wrong for wanting to get a legal seperation? It has really brought me down and I don't know what else to do besides pray. Any advice.
2006-12-22 21:52:08 · 17 answers · asked by christile21 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Separate for a period of time. During that time, suggest he talk to a therapist, get treatment. Along the way, he could join a support group when he is able to contain his rage. This the therapist would be able to inform. He needs to come to a point where he is aware of what's he's doing, so that when he does get into one of his tirades again, you don't have to react but remind him he is acting up again or say nothing and just walk away. Also say something like, "while you are blowing over, I am just going to walk away", feeling confident that your self esteem is still intact. Add, "call me when you are feeling sober".
You would need to decide how long you intend to separate so that he also knows how much time he has to get treatment, hopefully, at the end of the agreed time, you come bak together again and re-experience married life again.
May God see you through this time...
2006-12-23 00:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by thru a glass darkly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have bipolar disorder and I went to the doctor to get help because I cared about myself and I cared about those around me and how they suffered as well.
I know that this is hard for you to deal with and it won't get any easier if he doesn't get more help. He can see a therapist all he wants but he should get some help from a psychiatrist as well. I went through a butt load of different meds before I found the right ones for me but once I did, I was so much better of a person for it.
When someone has these problems, they just simply don't realize it. When someone is bipolar and they have manic episodes, they won't want your help or anyone elses because to them, everything feels fine and may even feel good. Infact, a manic episode often times does feel good. The person will feel like they have everything under control, they are more productive, they are on top of the world and then suddenly everything comes to a screaming halt and they hit depression and they will take everything and everyone down with them.
Bottom line, if he wants to stay in the marriage and be happy then he will go get some help from a psychiatrist as well as a psychologist or therapist. He will actively try to make things better and try to understand his conditions.
For you, give it some time and see if he is willing to try and let him know that you understand and that you're willing to help him get better. If he doesn't care, then it's probably better if you don't stick around because you don't deserve abuse. I hope that things do get better for you and I hope that he gets the help that he needs.
Here are some links for you.
www.crazymeds.org This is where I got the other links and they have tons of information about medications and conditions on this site as well as a forum where you can see personal stories from others.
http://www.mcmanweb.com/index.htm
http://bipolar.about.com/
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.html
http://depression.about.com/
http://www.depressioncenter.net/
http://www.nami.org/
http://www.bpdworld.org/ (borderline personality disorder)
2006-12-23 06:48:58 · answer #2 · answered by Erika 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the previous poster. Separate from him and make it quite clear that the only way that you are returning or even trying to continue the relationship is that he seeks professional help. I have a friend who's husband said either she saw a therapist or she never saw him again. This was immediately after she threw a family sized can of veggies at his head. She went and got the help she needed and now they have a happy and healthy family. With the appropriate care he might be able to be in a productive and happy relationship. However if he keeps up the abusive tendencies get out. You don't have to stay with him if he endangers you just because he has a mental illness.
2006-12-23 09:56:45 · answer #3 · answered by evilangelfaery919 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Young lady I am in your shoes, well your husbands really. I am bipolar which wasn't properly diagnosed until a year ago. I have a few more things going than just bipolar. Patients & understanding no matteer how hard sometimes is best. He needs his space, stress is very hard, he needs meds & psychiatrist help. Do a web search for bipolar and alot of really good sites will come up. Divorce is not the answer but please understand this is a disorder, he doesn't want to be this way.
2006-12-23 06:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by nbr660 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married to someone who was bi=polar very briefly. Long enough to get PG. He would get so angry and violent, it scared me so much. And I left because he started abusing me psychically and I left when our daughter was only a month old, Now she is 16 and I just found out a few months ago that he is in prison in Michigan for Murder 1 and got life. I was terrified of him and now, I know without a doubt that I did the right thing. We both might have been murdered. I'm not saying everyone with this disorder will do something this extreme, but I don't ever, ever want to live with someone with this disorder..............
2006-12-23 11:36:57 · answer #5 · answered by docie555@yahoo.com 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"If someone you love has a mental disorder, remember that a listening ear, a helping hand, and an open mind can help that one to survive--and even to thrive."
When Someone You Love Has a Mental Disorder :
- Recognize symptoms.
- Become informed.
- Pursure treatment.
- Encourage the sufferer to seek help.
- Avoid placing blame.
- Have realistic expectations.
- Stay Connected.
- Consider the needs of other family members.
- Promote good health practices.
- Take care of yourself.
- Some Warning Signs of Mental Disorders. http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/9/8/article_01.htm
Prayers That Are Heard by God
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20020908a/article_01.htm
.
2006-12-23 06:10:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to educate your bipolar friend in the ways that you think. He has been trained to be a loner and doesn't know why or how your type of people mix so well. Once you have shown him your way of life he will be less jealous as he will have lots of love in his life. If you leave him depressed and solely dependent on your affections he will be terrible to worse and the depression can then cause psychosis and he will lose reality each month.
2006-12-23 10:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well speaking from experience with Bi-Polar(considering I have it). I know what you are going through. Well, except for the physical abuse. I have lived with it my whole life, and I am here to tell you that life doesnt have to be horrible. If he isnt willing to get help, and he is physically hurting you or your children. Please, by all means. Leave......I know having this Mental Disease isnt easy for anyone, but you dont have to take it. Here are a few sites I have been given, for me and my family to look into..I hope these help you find what you need..... dbsalliance.org(for depression and Bi-Polar 800-826-3632) nami.org(mentally Ill) nmha.org ( mental health) nimh.nih.gov ( Institue of mental health). I am glad however that you are wanting to know why this happen's. To try and atleast make an effort to understand him. If ppl dont have Bi-Polar..you dont truly know whats it's like to feel locked inside your head. Statistics have shown that most ppl with BP, dont live past the age of 30. Most commit suicide. I wishyou the best of luck and God Bless you.
2006-12-23 06:46:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say I have the same thing and it is hard on the spouse/family/friends But it takes alot of understanding from someone but when a biopolar person has the outburst it is important to be supportative and let them know ur not mad It just takes patients and understanding
2006-12-23 06:03:25 · answer #9 · answered by Andrea A 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your being smart and next time he does anything violent you call the cops. Even breaking things and being violent can send a man to jail even if he dosen't hit someone you can press charges and send him to JAIL! He needs to know despite his disorder his behaviour is unacceptable and can land him in Jail. I had the choice to put my husband in Jail for a day. I gave him mercy the first time however I told him the next time I would press charges. He has never done anything remotely like that since.
2006-12-23 05:56:22 · answer #10 · answered by xx_muggles_xx 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋