Living With A Slob HELP!!!!?

Question

I love my fiance to death but he is a wicked slob. He leaves everything every where. Dirty clothes, Shoes, Cigarettes w/ lighter,
Dirty Dishes, Soda Cans, CD's, Coffee Cups Still Half Full Of Coffee, Plus dozens of other things. I got kids around here so I don't really want that stuff lying around the house, I mean what kind of example is that setting for them? Plus I don't want my house to look like the town dump. How can I approach the subject with him without causing a fight? He is an awesome person I just wish he were a cleaner person.....PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

Answer 1

whoa... you definitely need to get this resolved before you say "I do." At least you can see what your future will be like living with this person. And let's face it, marriage is not just being in love.. it's deciding what you can and cannot live with. More relationships end up in divorce court because of all the little things that added up.

Answer 2

First off, if he is your fiancé there should be no problem confronting him on this matter!! Second , if you don’t plan on living like that for the rest of your life, you better make a stand... Now!. Stop playing and get to it! No, it isn’t a good thing for your children to see or live with, they too will soon start doing the same thing.

I think your headed for a life with serious complications with this person. So, be prepared to live like that forever. You have a choice, what it will be is entirely up to you?

Answer 3

Don't marry him if you can't handle the slobiness.
I married a slob 10 years ago in the hope I could change is ways even slightly, he's worse now than ever and I have 4 children who take after him.
I am about to jump infront of a bus over it.

Answer 4

I've asked politely. I've asked politely 100 times. I've asked politely with a tinge of sarcasm. I've asked 100% sarcastically. I've added a little nastiness to the sarcasm due to frustration. I've just been nasty about it due to the constant mess and wanting to bang my head up against the wall.

And the result.....

Nothing. there is still crap all over. i think once a slob, always a slob.

You might see a change for a couple days, but don't let it fool you. It'll go back to the slobbish ways. Good luck.

Answer 5

If you cannot overlook his sloppiness DO NOT marry him! It will constantly drive you crazy. My husband is untidy (leaves dirty stuff in the sink, damp towel on the bed after a bath, dirty clothes hung on the rack in the bathroom, sweaty clothes strewn on the edge of the bathtub, etc). Whenever he realizes that I have had enough of his nasty habits, he "tidies up". However, this is short lived as by the next day (or few hours) he is back to his old ways! My advice to you is to get out before it is too late! The signs were there and I ignored them. Do not make the same mistake I did!

Answer 6

I've had renters leave messes I guess for 'the owner' to take care of so I decided to leave little but bold notes everywhere. Like 'Take a shower then clear the drain' or If you'd like to use the 'iron' it must be put back'. I think some people honestly don't think about it and need reminding.

Answer 7

The only thing I can tell you is, either get used to it or don't get married. I live with a slob as well, so I know what you're going through. Be prepared to do the same tasks day in and day out.

Answer 8

hello u believe**********m also a slob hi hi hi hi*********now come 2 point**the only thing u need 2 do is just avoid his habbits
give him a seperate room***
dont enter his room***
let him make his room a rubbish***
u jst dont show any interest in it ***after some days when he realise dat his room is looking THE TOWN DUMP
then he will clean it himself
ya it'll take time bt this method is really effective
any ways
good luck

Answer 9

that's a difficult one....
my sister had a boyfriend who was like that (he'd leave plates of food out and put his cigarettes in it...gross!!)
....you might say "i want to talk to you about something that has been bothering me....i'm concerned about the cleanliness of the house....i'm hoping together we can come up with a solution...."
i think you'll get the best response by approaching it as a problem that you solve together and not as "you are filthy and need to change" (even tho it's true!)
good luck!

Answer 10

This really works... Ask him very sweetly "Honey would you put this cup in the sink and rinse it?" When he does, give him a big kiss and say something like "You try SO hard to keep our house neat, and I know you do it for me." Practice one thing at a time. DON'T nag.. When he does ONE thing to be neat (and LOOK for it) brag on him.. You'll find before long, he will start getting in a habit of being more neat. Just praise him and give him a big hug and tell him how you know he does it for YOU... and how he likes the house to look so nice...
It took me awhile, (and he thinks it was all his idea) but my hubby now rinses the dishes, put clothes in the hamper, etc... and is a HAPPY person, not a nagged person.. Of course, it was all "his" idea.. :P
Good luck!!