Why do people keep bringing up the homeschool, socialization question?

Question

Most homeschoolers and those who have been homeschooled that I know (myself and my children included) are very social and well-rounded. So, can we please drop the socialization issue!?

Answer 1

Public schools were not started for socialization. People socialized before public schools ever started. Personally I think socialization was better before public schools. Everyone in town got together for socials. Children were not grouped by age for socialization. They were grouped by age because as more children started attending public schools it was easier on the teachers to teach a smaller class of same age children, thinking that children of the same age would have same learning abilities. We know that this isn't true. Children's abilities don't have much to do with their age. When I was in public school I got in trouble for talking in class. I was told I was not there to socialize, I was there to learn. Spend a week with a homeschool family and you will see how much socializing they do. I think you'd be suprised. We socialize more now than we ever did when the kids were in PS.

Answer 2

As more and more families and communities are introduced to homeschooling for the first time, these questions will continue to arise.

You have an excellent advantage in being well experienced in the homeschool environment, but to others this is a new field. Others have to go through the same learning curve and adjustments, and may not all have the same resources available for a well-rounded environment. Since many are starting later, they have not explored the full experience and the level of development you have.

Answer 3

That may very well be true. However, when you see a brother and sister who are homeschooled, in a neighborhood laden with kids of all ages, and you NEVER see this brother/sister with anyone but themselves and each other, the question comes up in your mind about socialization whether you like it or not. Not all kids who are homeschooled make friends. They either don't know how to properly, or their parents put too heavy of restrictions on the company they should keep. Parents looking to avoid socially awkward children have the right to ask how to best get their kids out into the world.

Answer 4

i am a homeschooler so i should know. many people think that being in homeschool, you don't socialize a lot with people your age and you don't have opportunity to talk to people just for the simple fact that you're home. being that homeschoolers are home 5 days out of the week, there teachers allow them to social and inter-act with many other people including public schoolers. socialization is not a problem, its just not used as much as others for me. but i do "talk" to people and i do conversate.

Answer 5

Let's have some fun with this today. I'd like to take a psychological look at it first:

The person who needs to put down homeschooling due to socialization who has *not* read all the things on what homeschoolers do is simply ignorant and is sharing opinions, either in the form of an opinion or in the form of a supposed fact. If the person is sharing this opinion when the question doesn't even ask for it, the person is seeking a sense of importance, that they are being listened to.

The person who puts down homeschooling socialization despite having read all the things about what many/most homeschoolers do could fall into a few categories:

-self-importance (a): the need to be listened to (this is especially true in the case of someone answering with such an answer when it doesn't fit the question)

-self-importance (b): despite information to the contrary, this person will believe themselves right and others wrong (on some level actually choosing to remain ignorant), possibly to the point of even believing that people are making it up or that the information is not accurately reflective of the whole, or when presented as reflective of the whole (like information shared from studies), that the results are skewed by bias.

-self-defence (reaction to perceived threat): some people see an attack on their choice to not homeschool or on their personal schooling and have a need to attack without deeply thinking into the issue. It is, in essence, a form of self-justification.

-a need to 'protect' others: some people have a need to be in control as much as they can and feel the need to protect total strangers. This does fall in with self-importance.

From a sociological point of view, putting down homeschooling due to "socialization" is the result of societal influence. When the society around the person says, in one way or another, that being with lots of others the same age on an almost-daily basis is required for proper development, the majority of the people in that society will adopt that belief. There will be some who will see outside the box and consider other possibilities or who will somehow not be touched by that belief and do not even have to go outside the box. And so, people bringing up the socialization 'issue' is, unfortunately, a completely natural, and to be expected, result of the person's socialization (in its proper meaning--the adoption of norms, beliefs, attitudes, behaviours and values of the society in which a person lives).

Further to this point is society's constant regard for the norm. What is normal is school outside of the home. Anything outside the norm is seen by most within the society as an aberration, something to be feared (yes, psychology does take its place in here). And so the individual who has adopted the particular societal belief of a child needing to be constantly surrounded by other same-age peers will have a need to promote that societal belief in order to, in essence, protect what is the norm. The more deeply rooted the belief and the more the person feels the need to promote and protect the belief, the more vocal, and less rational, they will be.

:D

Answer 6

It's true that you personally may feel well-rounded socially, and it's also true that many public- and private-school attendees fail miserably at the task of socialization and become felons. But the fact remains that the traditional school offers more activities and opportunities for meeting diverse types of people whom you otherwise would have never met. And these experiences - learning what it means to be part of a team, learning how it feels to depend on and collaborate with and appreciate others who are different, learning to do projects and accomplish tasks in groups - are obviously harder when you spend your time with the same two or three people every day for years. I would have gone batty from overexposure to my mother had I been homeschooled.

One of my best friends was homeschooled; her two younger brothers were not. She's very smart and creative and graduated from a top-ranked public university with two majors, but she confides in me the things that she missed and a certain loneliness that she blames on it. She's just now, in her mid-20s, learning how to interact with - much less date - the opposite sex.

So the fact remains: you just get to meet more people in a regular school. This doesn't guarantee proper social development and doesn't mean homeschooled individuals are antisocial. But I would send my children to school so they might have those same amazing group experiences and meet those same types of amazing teachers that I did as a high schooler.

Answer 7

allegra presents a perfect example of why people keep asking this question. They fail to understand that most homeschoolers are involved in multiple small group activities which give them ample opportunities for socialization.

In many states homeschool students can participate in their local public school extracurricular activities. Other homeschoolers participate in community based, church based or private school clubs and sports.

This is why they keep asking.

Answer 8

I hate this homeschool argument and like another poster have to refuse to discuss it at times! It's just a matter of lack of knowledge I think. We are told that SCHOOL is socialization, education, etc. We believe that we socialize in school...that's just what know and have always done. Not knowing much about homeschooling, it is somewhat easy to think that it's the opposite of traditional school and therefore does not afford many, if any opportunities to get out and meet people.


I went to public (and private for 11th and 12th) school all my life. I homeschool my girls now. I don't understand what socialization they would be getting in school that we don't get here. The socialization debate gets me too. I can't remember much socializing in elementary school....sitting in the same seat all day listening to the teacher talk. During recess we could socialize...fine I'll acknowledge that. Lunch was hit or miss...if your "friends" brought their lunch and you were buying that day, you didn't get to sit by them in my school.

In middle and high school we got to socialize more...in the hallways between classes. I got to witness some good fist fights, making out, drug sales, and other social things in that 3-5 minutes between classes. Yes, I participated in these things too! 5 years after high school, I don't think ANYONE (homeschool or not) can say that much of anything in high school mattered. Admit it... everyone says it as soon as high school is over-- "oh that was so petty!" "oh that high school drama" None of that socializing was worth it 5 yrs after high school for me.

Answer 9

You can't tell by looking at someone if they're homeschooled.

The homeschoolers you notice are social catastrophes. It's understandable that people would think they represent all homeschoolers.

They don't know what they're talking about. Yes, I'm an unsocialized barbarian. My loss. Go away.

Answer 10

Well maybe because some home schoolers say public schooled children don't know how to act around adults or ages other then their own. And are automatically gonna do drugs, have sex, be violent, not gonna be as educated, etc....

So in defense some people say home schoolers won't have a social life.

And I'm gonna say this again so I'm understood, SOME HOME SCHOOLERS, AND SOME PEOPLE! NOT ALL.