OK me and this guy have been friends for a long time and we used to cyber online, now we have started to actually "mess around" but he has a girlfriend. We are really close friends but why does he do stuff with me and not her. He is actually a jerk to her and he is always really nice to me. If he wanted to date me he would have already done something about it...right? So why is he doing this?
2006-12-22 18:59:55 · 13 answers · asked by beachchic705 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
probably better that a guy answer this question than a girl... being that I don't know you, I'll be straight up and to the point...
2 things...
1) first and foremost thing you need to understand about guys... 99.9% of the time when you meet a guy, his first impression is not going to be your personality, your laugh, anything like that... it's going to be the physical attraction... really, that's the biggest reason any guy is going to be friends with you (initially)... because he's attracted to you... I mean, don't get me wrong; I'm sure you have a great personality and you're probably an all around sweetheart... but that's NEVER the first thing a guy is going to notice about you... I mean, do you know any girls who aren't really "physically attractive" persay...? do you ever hear anything about the "new guy friends" they're meeting...? you see my point...? so the sad reality is, that's one of the biggest reasons he's friends with you... because you're hot... obviously if you werent, he wouldnt be messing around with you... ESPECIALLY if he's got a g/f...
2) I can conclude from all of this one of two things... either his girlfriend isn't nearly as cute, sexy, attractive, fun, etc. as you are... or, he's just not getting any from her... and if he is, she's not as into it as you are... but whatever the case, he obviously wants to have his cake and eat it too... he's pretty much taking advantage of both of you... be careful with that, because if you're considering dating the guy, take a step back and look what he's doing to her... she probably doesnt know about you, and she'll probably find out the hard way... and, I'll tell you what... guys don't change that easily, and it's probably not going to be you that changes him... I mean, if he's messing with her that bad, he'll mess with you the same way... biggest reason being because you've been messing around, and you know about his girlfriend... and for that, he'll never truly respect you...
best of luck with all this... I know you're in a difficult spot... I've been in that situation more than a couple times, and I just want you to know that all this comes from a voice of experience... and like I said, I don't know you, so why would I tell you anything other than how it is...? hope everything turns out alright for ya... just play your cards smart...
-Luke
2006-12-22 19:29:38 · answer #1 · answered by luke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you said, he's a jerk? Maybe he's bored with her, but thinks it's too much trouble to break up. Virtually all men would like to mess around with someone new, which you should remember if you ever consider having him as a boyfriend--you already know his track record.
2006-12-22 19:06:06 · answer #2 · answered by Pythonette 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think he doesn't do stuff with her? Is that what he told you? He is obviously a jerk and capable of lying. I can almost guarantee he's messing around with both you and her. I think he's using both of you. No one needs to be used like that. And, yes, you are being used. Simply don't allow it. Don't let him mess around with you. Period.
2006-12-22 19:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are just a booty call and besides you are a jerk also.. You know he have a girlfriend and you still let him mess around with you???You stand in his level too
2006-12-22 19:18:27 · answer #4 · answered by funkysha916 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
damn, that is a good question!
well im going to be honest with you....i have no idea why hes doing that to his girlfriend. maybe there both mad and hes doing this to get back at her, in other words...revenge!? idk, its weird...only ure friend knows why.
oh,and i wouldnt do that, if i had a g/f and i acted like a jerk towards her, and i was messing around with another girl, then i would just break up with my current g/f, and ask the other one out.
2006-12-22 19:07:23 · answer #5 · answered by Noriega 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys think they are too good for only one girl. They think they shouldn't deny the female world the chance of getting to be their lucky girlfriend. For you,well.....I guess it's better to stay away from a knife if you know it's sharp(and bent).
2006-12-22 19:15:09 · answer #6 · answered by Star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys like to have their cake and eat it too.the chics are also to blame because just as u are wilingly messing around with him and u know he has a gal then someone else can do it to u too.a guy is only urs wen he is with u but once he is somewea else...out of sight out of mind baby....(of course i could be wrong.Guys?..)
2006-12-22 19:10:05 · answer #7 · answered by mwm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to be with you and break up with her. He feels more comfortable with you, has some history with you, and is nice to you. He perhaps is a little but clumsy in taking care of this issue.
2006-12-22 19:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are allowing him to do it. And if he were with you, he would treat you the same way, only he would be cheating with her. He treats her badly because of his guilt of cheating on her. Wake up, the question should be why are you allowing yourself to be used as a toilet bowl. God bless****
2006-12-22 19:04:07 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he's a jerk. Come to think of it, so are you.
2006-12-22 19:03:45 · answer #10 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋