Is it right for a son to hit his father back, when his father left him for 17 years of his life?

Question

my father left my family when i was small now that im 17 he came back
and we wer living with him . one day me and my mom wer arguing. he then jumped in , he then tried to hit me . He actualy punched me, out self defense i hit him back. i gave him a broken nose and his eye was closed shut. i feelt bad about, but he was atacking me. should i have left him it me?
need some advice!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Physical attacks are never good. He may have thought he was protecting your mother. I believe that even though he may not be a great dad, he is still your father. You should never hit or totally disrespect a parent. I would have taken his punch and walked away the better man for not stooping to that level. Your family should seek some family counseling. I'm sure there are things you can't talk about such as your emotions on his abandoning you as a child. It's best to be honest about things but you need to word things carefully.

Answer 2

It's terrible that your mother allowed such a man back into your life. In these situations parents typically think that they are entitled to make their own decisions regardless of their childrens feelings about it. It is awful that your mother would let a man who abandoned his family come back 10 or 15 years later and try to be a father.
I hope your 18th birthday comes soon so you can move away from these unhappy people. Maybe you can fix your relationship with them later as you get older.
Can you find a grandparent or another family member close by to live with until you're 18?
If that's not an option, avoid angry topics [ you know what pushes those buttons ] and keep your distance.
Never let anyone hit you. If you really feel that you have to defend yourself in the future defend yourself.Don't go looking to even any scores with your father this way though. It would hurt you in the long run.
I'm sorry that this is happening to you.
One more thing... if your mom has been there for you all of this time maybe you need to stop arguing with her.
You can go get counseling for yourself. They have support groups for teenagers who are going through similar situations.
Good luck, dear.

Answer 3

No you should not have let your father hit you. Your father (no offence) is a total dumba**. If he cared about his family he would not have left in the first place. If you were really young like 5 or something when he left then he really is not apart of your family because he left and didn't care enough to stay and be a family. I don't think he should have gotten into it with you and your mother. I am really sorry that this had to happen to you. My father still lives with the family but our relationship is not all that great we hardly talk to each other. But the advice I can give you is to tell your father that you are sorry and that you felt threated by him hitting you. I am sure if you were the one to hit him first he would have done the same thing that you did. I hope this helps I am sorry that there are problems in our family, but then again there are problems in everyones family. God Bless and good luck with your relationship with your father.

Answer 4

He is not your father,since he did not raise you.
It seems he is a violent person, and does not think a lot before acting on impulse in a negative way.
I would think you have no moral obligation towards him.In fact,I feel for you that you have to live in such difficult conditions,rather than a nurturing encouraging atmosphere.
I sure hope you will be able to build your own life and become a gentleman and a wise person that does not repeat the hell from home.

Answer 5

It was self defense. No one, regardless of the relationship, has the right to just start swinging. Your father chose for himself to not be a part of your life when he had the chance. If you wish for him to share it now, then that is your decision, not his.

I would not stand for anyone taking a swing at me, and I don't feel you were in the wrong in defending yourself, or if need be, your mother. As long as you don't throw the first punch, then you will be on the right side no matter what.

Answer 6

Out of self defense you had no choice, if you tell the whole story. As for arguing with your mom, well, that would be disrespectful and not tolerated in my home. However I would never strike at either of my three sons.

Sounds like dad needs some anger management counseling. You might consider this as well if you argue with you mom.

Answer 7

It doesn't sound like he is your father at all, and maybe he deserved what he got. all teenagers argue with their parents. that doesn't give parents the right to hit their children. if you feel bad about it, say your sorry, but you where and are going to defend yourself. and if he wants to be respected as your father tell him to act like a father and respect you as his son. if my dad hit me i am not sure I'd hit him back, but he didn't abandon me either, i think i would have a hard time treating him like a father when he wasn't around to be one.
Don't let abuse become a normal thing in your household, if your afraid he will continue to hit you, tell someone who can help you. if your afraid you will become abusive yourself, get help. if you talk to your mother about it and she won't listen, find someone else, maybe a teacher at school you trust.

Answer 8

It was wrong to hit your father, but you can say sorry to him later when the time have come.

With his behave and your reaction, he would be sorry as well. Who know?

But you need to respect him, because he is your father. No matter how bad he is, I strongly believe when the time change, people will change as well, if you still respect him and he will know.

One thing you should know NOBODY PERFECT, everybody can make the mistake but the mistake you made can be your lesson.
Same with your dad and you too.

Answer 9

well im no dr phil but ill tell u my mom and dad abised me all my life and as much as i wanted to hit back i never did .. unless he was about to kill u or your mother then it's my opinion u should talk to your dad and tell him your sorry but also let him know he has no right to put his hands on u i know it's messed up but remember this one day every one dies and then it's too late so try it see what happens ya never know it may make things between u 2 much better. and if nothing else u was the better person for admitting your fault and saying your sorry..

Answer 10

According to my opinion, you have to keep quite and what ever your father wants you to do, let him do.

This is a kind of test that how much you are honest, obedient & true to the one who is your father, because the status of father is thousands time high and should be high to the son.

what ever he did, he is but personally your respect is compulsary to give.