my friend is getting into trouble, how can i help?

Question

i used to like this friend of mine, until i found out he started to do drugs. he seems like the type of guy that doesn't want people to lecture him on whats right and wrong. he tells me all these things about what he's done, and i know for a fact he's done them.

how can i tell him that he's going ruin himself [without bossing him around and keeping it casual] if he keeps up with all this?! i really care for him because i used to like him. but i know that i can't be with someone who is going to making stupid decisions.

so basically, how do i tell him he's ruining his life without him getting upset. we're 15 now, and i really dont want this to continue.

i can't tell his parents they're never home, and i really wouldn't want too. my friend told her friends parents and now they hate eachother...and that kids selling drugs now!

Answer 1

He needs help. The best thing you can do is to tell his parents or a counselor and hope they can convince him to turn things around. Just be supportive and give it time.

Answer 2

sweetheart, just do what you know is right. tell him that he's on the path to ruining his life, maybe even to the point of killing himself. and tell him that you won't stay around and watch him do it. tell him to either stop using drugs and get his life straightened up, or he'll be forcing you out of his life because you're not sticking around to watch him kill himself. and mean it. sometimes you have to make someone mad before they will really look at what they're doing to themselves and get help. I know that you're worried about making him mad, but don't be, you'd feel a lot worse if you said nothing at all, and he killed himself. you might also want to consider telling his parents or someone else you can trust.
Good luck with everything. and remember, if this guy is really your friend, he won't stay mad for very long, and he'll thank you for caring enough to confront him.

Answer 3

I really think you only have one option. I'd let him know that you consider him a friend but don't agree with the things he's doing and that it scares you and you are concerned. Let him know that you are available to talk or help if he needs a friend, but don't want to get involved in the things that he is doing and will keep your distance unless he asks for your help. Then do it. He's on a bad path and it will either get better or worse and you can do little to affect it. If it gets truly bad , you may want to consider getting with his family and other friends to host an intervention. Sometimes it can help people see that there are people who truly care and that they need to change. Otherwise we can only and barely change ourselves, rarely others.

Answer 4

Show him a picture of someone with no teeth and that is a skeleton. That is truely what happens that seems to have the most effect.. Drugs rot your teeth from the inside out and on day they will chip off to expose the black and rotten core inside and when you smile you will be laughed at and humilated and soon you face will start to wrinkle from the lack of nutrients and vitamins and a leathery like film will cover your forehead if the Deep and ulcery puss like bumps dont come out first. HIV is also a big concern and also death. Prison, diseas, sadness, is all that is left of your life if you are lucky and do not die. There is no way to not upset him especially if he hooked. He is not going to be recognizable soon and he will do and say things to you that will seem as if he is possesed. Mention to him how you worry that he will get hooked and be some kind of loser and make reference to a person you know he doesnt like that way he will forget that he should be upset at you and focus on the negative image of what the other "loser person" has become because of Drugs. Honestly, Tell him how great you think he is and how you feel like no matter what he goes through you know and trust he will have the strength to make it through. Tell him he a diamond in the rough and that whenever life gets him down you want him to remember that he is strong and that he can over come anything. This is something he will need when he hits Rock bottom he will remember your kind words and he will remember that at least there was one that believed. At the same time you need to tell him that you know what Drugs do to people and that if he chooses to do that It will have to be without you and that you care about him deeply and that you wish him all the best. Invite him to do Drug Free things with you regularly when he starts talking about doing the bad stuff dont laugh at the stories or even act like you may think they are interesting just shake your head look at him like he is an idiot and change the subject to something you both share that has nothing to do with Drugs. If he continues YOU MUST TELL HIS PARENTS!!! You may be saving his life. You have to beg and plead with them not go off the deep end ...Instead of waiting in his room with the news of Your busted they need to build him up and tell him good things and then tell him he is busted. The last thing someone needs when they are feeling self destructive is to be alienated and to feel like they have dissappointed and let down everyone they have ever cared about and that there is nothing they can do to make up for messing up cause that just pushes them to want to do Drugs they need to hear how great they are and that there decisions are little off and that they can turn it around before its too late that they can make it back from this... If the problem has gone too far though it may be too late... If this technique has been tried and if fails over and over and he continues to choose wrong.. You must protect yourself and tell him that when he cleans up you'll be waiting, until then he'll have to live with the decision and hope that he is still alive when he decides to stop Abusing hisself and decides to Value life and choose to live rather than hide from life and throw it away. Goodluck to you sweetie it is not easy seeing the people we care about make such careless decisions. You may have to upset him to help him to see but just because he's upset doesnt mean that he wont thank you later. Saving his life is worth him being upset at you seeing him grow into a man instead of a little skinny pathetic toothless, wrinkled, sad, shell of a man that lives in the jail, stealing from his friends and family, and digs in Garbage cans, all for the next fix that eventually will have you viewing him at his funeral watching his parents mourn the loss of there once 15 year old son that could have been a man. The choice is his but to let him know how you feel about it and to try to help him is the least you can do to ease your conscious and to possibly save his life. Ultimatley it will be his decision and the destruction will be by his own choices and his own hands. All we can do as friends and family is watch as the hell is played out and spills over into our lifes. Good luck to you and God Bless My thoughts and prayers are with you and him. Merry Christmas Sweetie!!!

Answer 5

im 15 too, i think you should tell him what you just put right there. tell him how much he means to you, tell him you dont want to lecture him but it's the only thing you knew to do.

i hope it works out, and that i didnt give you any bad advice.
=)

& hey, not to boo the guy above me, but i dont think you should do that, because then he'll just feel like you stabbed him in the back and he'll start REALLY acting out.

Answer 6

properly to me i do no longer think of there going to run prints just to discover someone's how egged somebody residing house. unlike interior the CSI exhibits. yet whilst they did the worst element if community provider or basically get a checklist. yet whilst this individual already has a checklist they wil pass to probation or like possibly an afternoon in reformatory. desire this helps.

Answer 7

Well, you could try to tell him that you care for him, and that you don't wanna lose him, but of course if that doesn't work tell an adult!!!!! Cuz it's better him being mad at you cuz you told, then him dead cuz u didn't. If he were to die just cuz he didn't get help, think how you would feel.

Answer 8

Tell him your desire, and show your dislike. And pray to Allah to give him instruction and right direction

Answer 9

If it's pot, it's OK. Pot is a harmless drug. Dealing is not cool. If you really are his friend, tell him not to do it. Keep nagging him until he listens. Friends don't give up on friends.

Answer 10

tell him to get clean are else you can,t be with him