Ok. So my sister is with this dude who is ... I don't know, 40 and she is like 22 or 23. Well he is always talking her down and making fun of her and yelling at her and telling her to leave and stuff. Me and ma always ask her "Why are you still with him? He's such a jerk?" and she's like, "I just love him." I don't know, but i don't want her to be with him. He just isn't for her. She deserves someone so much better. She is always having guys look at her and wanting to get with her... but she is always talkin bout "I love my hunni bunni" and it drives me up the wall! He is mean and he's a jerk. So help me help her ditch him! Any ideas... LeAvE iT!! Thanks!!
2006-12-22 17:03:10 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell your sister what you told us that she deserves better than this Jerk. that you hate seeing her hurt by him. tell her that you see how guys look at her and you know that she can do better than to be with someone that abuses her mentally. Tell her also that you will help her in anyway that you need to to get her out of the so Called relationship she's in now and with someone that will see her and treat her like the gold that she is.Remember though to also tell her that your not trying to tell her what to do your just here to help her for she's your sister and you love her and only want the very best for her like you know that that's what she wants for you too. Tell her to remember that always and also to remember Sisters before Cocks. Good Luck on finding your sister a Good Man.
2006-12-22 17:14:44 · answer #1 · answered by outlawprincess5321 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be clear to you and your mother that your sisters bf is a jerk, but she needs to realise this for herself. I've experienced this situation first-hand, as I'm sure many others have. It's just a case of her realising on her own, that she deserves better, she is worthy, etc. Nothing anyone else tells her matters when she loves him, she won't listen if it's something she doesn't wanna hear. Anybody can talk down the person that someone else loves to them, but if they don't like it, they won't hear it. It could also be that she is afraid of leaving, she may feel more threatened by leaving than she does by staying and taking the insults. Let her know that you are there for her no matter what, and try not to judge her choices. Things will work out eventually. Be there for her on the other side of it :)
2006-12-22 17:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by Reebok 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she obviously is looking for a father figure, instead of an equal. its my guess that she was treated the same way by her father. she probably spent her childhood years trying to appease her dad and keep him calm so he would not be abusive. this can become such an obsession, that it becomes what I call a "soul battle". Sub-conscientously she is looking for someone with the same traits so she can try to appease that person, and she is willing to suffer the abuse in order to try to win this battle. She is probably a nurturing, loving,nurse type. this needs to be brought to her attention and encouraged to go to a good councelor. Beyond that, there is nothing you can do except to pray for her. she will have to learn the hard way if she is not willing to take advise. just be there for her. if she is being physically abused, then someone needs to step in and take some action, even if your sister says no. the situation will not get better on its own. if your sister doesnt get this issue resolved in herself, even if she leaves this guy, she will gravitate towards another man with the same problems. "count on it". :)
2006-12-22 17:15:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she is afraid of being alone and is willing to settle to for the reassurance of having someone. You can tell her all you want about how bad he is and how mean but she wont leave him. Only thing you can do is keep with it and maybe one day he will leave. He is just a pervert and child molester. They probly say that love doesnt have an age. You need to tell him there is a spot on the jerry springer show just waiting for him. But dont give up on her, do what you can before her life is ruined.
2006-12-22 17:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by NEED HELP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first let me tell you that you are in a very bad position because your heart and sense of right say to do one thing, and that is the absolute worst thing you can do if you want to be able to help her when she finally does leave.
Just tell her she is in an abusive relationship and it is going to continue to get worse. (I've included a link to show the signs of an abusive relationship because people don't always realize they are in one). Then, stop telling her. Just be there for her when she wants to talk. If she says something to you like "I don't know why he says things like that!" ask her why do you think he does? Why would you say something like that to someone? and just let it go.
The only REAL thing you can do with her is be a friend, and be there for her when the pieces need picked up. Be a safe haven if she needs one. Anything else and you are going to force her to accept his control of her, allow him to extend it further, and leave the love and support of the family.
Good luck! HTH
2006-12-22 17:08:22 · answer #5 · answered by Star 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she will have to see it her self.. Just tell her you will not see her while he is there and stay away from her when he is around.. Continue to point out his negative behavior and remind her that she deserves better!
2006-12-22 17:05:30 · answer #6 · answered by Irie 123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget him
2006-12-22 17:05:07 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋