so i like this girl a lot, but we are not together bc we live 500 miles apart. i heard from my friends that she is a virgin, this person is a reliable source and i can kind of tell the girl i like is very innocent. (she's only 20, i'm 24). my friends suggested that she might be scared by me bc she knows i've had other girlfriends. so tonight in an e-mail, she was talking about the value of writing that cannot be taken away by "lovers, family drama, school"... why would she say lovers if she is a virgin??
2006-12-22 16:59:35 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is that to imply that you can't love someone without having sex with them? That's ludicrous! Also, from the text written here it is difficult to tell if she was referring to herself or to you. Written conversations can be difficult to interpret. You cannot use visual cues such as facial expression or tone of voice as mood indicators. If you want to know if she's trying to make you jealous, ask her! If she is, then you should feel flattered that she likes you enough to want to invoke a response...which she obviously did! Truthfully though, who is in the relationship...her and yourself or the "reliable source"? By asking others about her and/or sharing information with anyone else at all, you are involving them in a relationship that should be kept confidentially private between the two of you. Be direct, honest and upfront if you expect the same from her. Now go back and try it again. Hopefully this time you'll get it right.
2006-12-22 17:18:55 · answer #1 · answered by AileneWright 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is this so important to you? Are you a VIrgin? and if you 2 are to become "lovers" eventually why dont you ask her if she is. You dont have to say someone told you...Maybe you could write her and tell her that there is a debate going on about whether people should wait for marraige and you are unsure about where you stand on this issue.. This may open the door to true and real feelings about sex.. you can find out alot about someone when they answer that question.. Should one wait to have sex or how do you feel about virgins, Girls are now lying about it which can never be a good start... they find out what the guy wants and they lie in the hopes it makes them like you more ...I suppose we all do this but the real message you should have gotten from her email is that she is thankful and happy and excited that she has you to write to her and how she value's this beyond everything even family. And since she knows you have had other girlfriends did it ever occur to you that she may be trying to convince you to continue to be with her even though all she has to offer right now is her writing ...Read it again maybe she wants you to recognize the value of her writing to you above Your lovers, family, drama, .... whether she is trying to make you jealous or not you seem to be anyway talk to her about how much you want her and if she is very innocent and you like that make regular trips to see her and then if you like her even more dont break her heart marry her. But you have to start asking her whether or not she has had sex and make up in your mind if you would like her as much if she told you she has. Good luck to you... Merry Christmas!!
2006-12-23 01:17:58 · answer #2 · answered by WW 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Someone can love without sex. Also don't put too much value on a women's innocence. The sooner you accept that the simpler your relationships with them will be.
EDIT: I almost forgot until I read Annonymous. Get a local girl and screw this jealous crap. Get into a relationship without games.
2006-12-23 01:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what I can tell, they will lie to you if they're afraid of the reaction you will give. So . . . you said you had been with others, and she wanted to play along. That's my guess.
More importantly, what in the hell are you doing with a girl who's 500 miles away? It will not work unless one of you will eventually move (and not too far in the future either). Good luck, in any case!
2006-12-23 01:02:25 · answer #4 · answered by anonymous 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she thinks if you are experienced, then she wants you to think she is too. Perhaps she feels embarrassed that she's a virgin and thinks you'll believe she's "prissy" or something.
Just a thought. And yes, she maybe doing it to compete with your past somehow and perhaps make you jealous or start to wonder about her private life.
I'm sure she's doing it on purpose.
2006-12-23 01:04:24 · answer #5 · answered by Gus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her definition of "lover" may be different than yours. Either that or she is using it improperly. She may even be speaking in general terms. Whatever you do though try not to overanalyze!
2006-12-23 01:04:35 · answer #6 · answered by TCSO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a hell of a lot more to the word lovers than sex is that all u r interested in love means way more than sex
2006-12-23 01:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by chookys_ccw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love doesn't always mean intercourse these days.
2006-12-23 01:02:17 · answer #8 · answered by MrNiceGuy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋