My child moved in with his buddies after high school. He did fairly well for about 4 months then lost his job. He now calls regularly needing money for rent, food or gas, etc. I have helped but feel the need to stop now and put my foot down. Need Feedback!!!
2006-12-22 16:46:44 · 12 answers · asked by Dani M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Don't help him until he gets a job. He is an irresponsible brat, and you are encouraging that kind of behavior. He is probably smoking pot with his buddies and lost his job because he was too high on the job. You need to kick his a*ss and make him responsible for his own actions. Punish him by having him move back with you so he does not have to pay rent. Then, beat him until he goes out and finds a job. Then, you should help him get an apartment.
2006-12-22 17:03:19 · answer #1 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was okay at first to help but you need to put your foot down and show him how to become a man. He will never grow up if he does not stand up on his own two feet. He needs to take any job he can get and he may even have to get a second job so he can have savings. Mom don't feel guilty because in the end your child will know what it is like to have something of his own.
2006-12-22 18:23:35 · answer #2 · answered by nygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't refer to him as your child. He isn't a little kid anymore. He's an adult, he holds the pink slip on his own life now. You need to let him make his own mistakes and figure out how to fix them.
Frankly, with the unemployment rate as low as it is, there is no reason for him to be without a job. It's likely he just hasn't found one that he's fond of. He needs to learn that an adult does what must be done, even if it isn't fun or ideal. The longer you rescue him, the longer he can avoid having to act like a grownup. Be tough, Mom. You can do it!
2006-12-22 17:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This depends a lot on the circumstances. I am 29, male, and unfortunately for me, due to circumstances only partly within my control, I am still dependant upon my mother for financial assistance on some level. However, she does not pay the entire sum of my bills. In fact, I pay most of them myself, but if I had to cover my rent payment 100% out of my own back pocket, I would be unable to do so. As it is, I currently pay about 50% of my rent payment. My goal, of course, is to pay 100%, but economics being as they are, I am not able to do this at this time. One of hte reasons I want to pay 100% is because I don't want to be accountable to my mother for decisions I make on my own. You can hold a lot of power over your son by paying the bills for him. If you choose to use that power, you may convince him that it is far better for him to pay the bills than to deal with you every month. That might not be such a bad thing when it comes to "tough love", but it might not be the best thing for your personal relationship with him. If you choose to do this, it might not lead to an amicable situation quickly, but hopefully, it will lead to a better situation for him in the long run.
2006-12-22 17:02:06 · answer #4 · answered by G A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents have all sorts of money and could give me money whenever. But they only LOAN me money after I can show the absolute need AND I present a payment plan to pay them back. I learn how to better control my budget this way.
2006-12-22 19:14:48 · answer #5 · answered by TCSO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's an adult. Let him be an adult. Starting out is hard, but worth the struggle. Do not give him money for the basics. This isn't an occasional thing anymore, you are supporting him...that is wrong.
I am 29. I have asked my parents for money 2 times in my adult life. It was difficult for me because of my pride.
2006-12-22 17:01:41 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's like a Baby Bird!! he will never know how to fly if u don't let him!!! i say that to say this stop paying his bills, let him get another job! as if u wish to feed him sometimes it's okay, doesn't mean u don't love him, but u need to let him know that u Raise him to be a hard working young man!!!
2006-12-22 17:11:41 · answer #7 · answered by Kas-O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to support himself. You have helped him long enough. You may be helping financially, but you are not helping emotionally. He needs to grow up and learn how to take care of himself. He will never learn responsibility otherwise. Let him know you are cutting him off ahead of time. Warn him he has to find a job because he isn't going to be able to come to you anymore. I know it's not easy, but it is for his own good.
2006-12-22 16:59:01 · answer #8 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell no!
The day they decided to move out was the day the convinced themselves and the world that they could make it on their own. The bank is closed the day the farthest tip of your azz touchs the door.
2006-12-22 17:01:00 · answer #9 · answered by BionicNahlege 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He needs to take ANY job and you need to stop enabling him to do nothing, he is grown!
2006-12-22 16:53:44 · answer #10 · answered by tamara.knsley@sbcglobal.net 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋