well i give the impression that i can be used, dont girls lose respect for that
2006-12-22 16:10:45 · 18 answers · asked by Noel H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no, as much as women say its all equal, and that BS. You pay for the date and be a gentleman. Go and open the doors for her also while you are at it.
2006-12-22 16:13:01 · answer #1 · answered by ray 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a word--no, you will not lose respect.
Customs and individual preferances vary, of course. And people in relationships often develop their own patterns. A couple may end up habitually splitting the cost (going "Dutch") or alternating who pays--or any number of other variations.
However, it is very definately NOT a good ideea to expect a girl/woman to pay on the first date--not if you want there to be a second date. If she offers to pick up part of the expense on the first few dates, use your own judgement--but be prepared to and expect to pay all costs.
30-40 years ago that was custom--and universal enough that no one would have asked the question. Those ridgid rules are changing (and ultimately for the better, in my opinion). So things can be confusing. But its still "her call" whether she volunteers to pay--and if you are wise, you won't ask or suggest. As a relationship grows, as I said, the pattern shifts based on what both persons are comfortable with.
This may sound a bit unfair to you--but the truth is, it isn't. The reason I say that is that what many (most?) men--especially young ones--don't realize is how much more money women are expected to --and do--spend on cloths, makeup, etc. There's a very good chance she spends more getting ready for a date than you do for your own preparations and the date combined.
There is a lso a cold hard reality you'd best learn now the easy way--or women will see to it you learn it the hard way. That is this: if you come across as a cheapskate, that's the last you will see of her. Its not about her "getting something" (there are women like that--but that's a different topic). It's about whether you make her feel she's worth spending money on--and if you come across as thinking she isn't worth a few bucks, she will find someone who does.
2006-12-22 16:28:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you ask her out on the date, then you should pay for it. I don't really understand your concern but I am aware of the nice guys finish last thing...it isn't true. Only certain types of women wouldn't appreciate a guy paying on the first date...btw, first impressions are very important and lasting...now, is not the time to be concerned about it, also, paying for a first date does not indicate that you can be used and no, women don't lose respect for a man who does so, its actually the opposite, I can't speak for 'girls' though. If you are a good guy and want to make a good impression on her, pay for the date...It need not be expensive...good luck!
2006-12-22 16:17:23 · answer #3 · answered by kewtber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the girl, because I guarentee that there's someone out there that would lose respect for a guy like that. Most women would appreciate at least the offer. Always offer to pay for the date, especially if you invited the girl to the date. It's also good to try to pay for half if she is insistant of paying her share. Most women though, would find it a sign of kindness, and respect.
2006-12-22 16:16:02 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys should always pay for the first date. However, if she is a true lady she will at least offer to start paying some of her way by the second or third date. If she doesn't, then she is not a true lady and you should find someone better.
If you make her pay for the first date, or even just make her pay for her part, then she will think you are a jerk. You paying will show you are a gentleman!
2006-12-22 16:14:28 · answer #5 · answered by bashnick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pay for the damned date. If you don't get along well, then take her home early and chock it up to experience. But you do not want to appear cheap. And as far as respect goes...it is earned, not given. So, you can not loose something that does not yet exist.
2006-12-22 16:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by It All Matters.~☺♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Generally speaking ,if you invite her out ,you should pay for the evening. After the first date ,if she has any problem with you paying,that's when you learn to compromise a little.
2006-12-22 16:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a good question. i wouldnt but im not her, so i would pay for the first date and see if it works out. if she expects you to pay for the next one dont.
2006-12-22 16:13:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't pay for the first date..
There will be no second date...
2006-12-22 16:14:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no that means you are a gentlemen and NOT a jerk trust me.
i once went out with this big jerk who was as conceited as conceited can get! he would even make ME pay for him!!!!!!!!!!!
girls lose respect for the wimps and you my man are NOT a wimp...
plz answer my question
2006-12-22 16:15:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋