I work in a medical office. Every year for the holidays, the doctors in our office go in together to buy all of the nurses the same gift (most of the doctors are of a different religion but want to give us something anyway) they spend about 10 dollars a piece for each nurse- there are 6 of us. This year, we all got small lotion sets that were very nice. But, each doctor then went and bought something extra for each of their individual nurses (one nurse got a $200 gift certificate, and several others received certificates for over $100). I was the only nurse who did not receive anything else from my doctor (he does not celebrate Christmas either but I did buy him a very nice holiday gift) I spend many extra hours there working for him and have been like his personal asst for 2 years- I do everything for him. I hate that I am upset about this- I mean, he did do the lotion set, I think I just thought that he would get me something special for all of my hard work. Am I wrong?
2006-12-22 15:45:43 · 14 answers · asked by lili 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
All of the other nurses know that I did not receive anything even though I did not want them to know- they just kind of figured it out- so of course everyone was whispering about it all day- I don't want him to hear that I was upset about it.
2006-12-22 15:47:36 · update #1
Its natural to feel hurt in this situation, especially since all of the other nurses got individual gifts, but approaching your doctor about it will only make you look petty.
Gifts are just that, gifts. Try to be grateful for the one you received.
And, next year, when Christmas comes around, hint that you're getting him a gift a few days ahead of time and ask if there's a good time to exchange gifts. That way he'll have time to find you a gift if he wants or to explain why he won't be getting you a gift if he's not about too.
2006-12-22 16:14:42 · answer #1 · answered by VirtualImpulse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not consider this as an insult and take it personal towards you. He probably thought that since they were giving you lotion sets, you had a present and his butt was covered. Since all the other doctors gave out more, he is probably more embarrassed at himself than you are insulted. I am guessing there is naturally some competition going on between the doctors. If you act disappointed in any way, you will be proving yourself undeserving. If you act gracefully, he will feel like an even bigger prick, and probably want to make it up to you somehow. I say let it go for now and give him a chance.
Men are a little slow, some more than others. You seem to have gotten the slowest.
I know men hate hint dropping, but you might want to help him out in that department, so he feels he has a chance to redeem himself.
Something along the lines of "I told my husband I wanted this pair of $200 boots at (insert designer name store here), and he went there and only bought me a $20 scarf!"
Or "My boyfriend said he was going to take me out to (name of nice restaurant here) for the holidays and he never did!"
With any luck you will soon be the happy recipient of your own gift certificate.
2006-12-22 16:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by sorcergeek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are so many possible reasons why this has happened.
What you don't say is whether your boss gave you an individual gift last year.
The personal, expensive gift is almost considered a "year-end bonus". Is there any chance your boss will be giving you something like that at a later date?
The Christmas gift shouldn't be compensation for working hard and doing a good job. We do that because we are conscientious employees and enjoy our work. That's what we get paid for. Just make sure that you are earning a fair salary for your job and that you continue to enoy your work.
Happy Holidays!
I
2006-12-23 02:52:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're wrong for feeling hurt. He probably didn't even think about how this would affect you since he doesn't celebrate Christmas, he's probably not given it a second thought. If it gets back to him that you're upset and he confronts you, just deny that your feelings were hurt and tell him knowing that he values you as a loyal, hard worker is all that really matters. The lotion set isn't much, but then again, it's the thought that counts. Merry Christmas!
2006-12-22 15:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by Deb C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are hurt that he did not choose to buy you something extra since you work as hard or harder than than the other nurses do for their doctors. Tell him that you feel unappreciated. Since he does not celebrate Christmas, this will be his opportunity to explain why he chose not to. Since he now knows how you feel, he may find other ways to show his appreciation apart from holiday gifting.
2006-12-22 15:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by babydoll 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do not let this affect your work. If he does not celebrate Christmas getting you another gift probably was not even on his mind. Don't take it personal. Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year to you and yours.
2006-12-22 15:57:06 · answer #6 · answered by highchaparral2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has happened to me also. I dont ever expect to get anything from anyone, so when I do it is a treat. I just let it go if I dont get a gift. Gifts really dont mean anything, it is how you are treated the rest of the year that matters.
2006-12-22 16:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by Rosanna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to feel hurt and I probably would be too. But, gifts are exactly that...something that is given freely. A gift is not an entitlement so there is no appropriate response you can give for not having received one. Sorry. :(
2006-12-22 16:04:04 · answer #8 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be happy that he gave you a lotion set and he doesn't even celebrate christmas. Don't be greedy and expect more from him. Just be happy with what you got. Be mature about it, not childish and greedy. $100 is ALOT of money for a workmate to spend on you, maybe he felt it was too much. Just be happy and quit whinging.
2006-12-22 18:15:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just let it be. The important thing is how he is to you the other 364 days of the year, not what he gets you once a year for Christmas. If he is nice to you in general, just be thankful for that. On the other hand, if he's a jerk... well... that's just unfortunate.
2006-12-22 15:51:17 · answer #10 · answered by jonny r 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋