okay so i dress girly but i m like the complete opposite and so guys start to talk to me bc of my looks but when they get to know me i m just one of the guys . what should i do?
2006-12-22 15:34:10 · 30 answers · asked by lil morgs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Judging someone's looks is human nature I dont agree but its a fact. And let me tell you girly you have it all. Keep dressing girly cause it is a celebration. The real fact of the matter is that you are hot and guys want to have sex with you so they talk to you hoping you may be easy and slutty but then they find out how cool you are and that you are not a whore... so they move on to the quick easy slut girl because they can have sex with her break her heart and they know she will get over it with another guy. But then they meet you and you are sexy, cool, smart and funny and they wouldnt want to break your heart and more importantly they do NOT want to fall in love right now cause they want to have lots of girls first. Be patient and wait for it in a couple more years the hormones of the little boys will slow down a little, they will have had a couple of go rounds with skank and they will be ready for the real deal. Believe me cutie skanky wont get taken home to mom or the shiny drop dead for diamond. It will be the sexy, girly, competitive, smart, funny, woman that they have been hanging out with. If there is one guy that you are talking about you need to tell him you like him...He may like you back but Be prepared if he is not ready for a relationship it may make the friendship awkward. You are a keeper and some guys do not understand yet that love cannot be found with the skank that doesnt think enough of herself to be selective. They will learn and you will win.
2006-12-22 15:54:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone judges on looks and it's just a mental shortcut that people do. It would be really counterproductive if we would have to get to know every single person we see before we form any impression of them. If you ask for the time, your mind works both consciously and unconsciously to determine which person you would ask. It's a survival mechanism as well as as psychological one. If someone looks scary, you would not approach that person. You would not want to get to know all of the people in front of you just to ask the time. You just form an impresson and it doesn't really matter if it's 100% correct and you follow your instinct.
So that's the semi-technical answer to your first question.
What you should do is be happy that all these guys talk to you and then take your pick of the ones that you find suitable. I think you would complain more if it were the opposite. You can't really change what people think of you and you shouldn't change your dress to something that you don't like to wear. You should be comfortable and just take it as a compliment. Somewhere down the line you may meet someone that is really compatible with you.
Also, there may be something else that make them stop talking to you other than the fact that you may be just one of the guys. Some guys may actually like that and be more comfortable around you. You should try to see if there is any other reason. Are you being too vulgar (or too much like the "guys" in a bad sense) in general? If you are then it would be good for you to pay attention to that since it's better for you socially down the line.
But you should also not try to act something that you're not or too girly or disty. Just see if there may be another reason, if not then have patience with these guys.
2006-12-22 23:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by Cathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be mean here, but I think people are a little bit confused about your question. Are you saying you DON'T want people to judge you on your looks? Well, that's actually something that is never going to happen. We will always be judged on our looks, so that is something you need to accept.
Maybe you could have a girly-tough look. Like a punky shirt, seven jeans, and some cute pointy-toed boots. As far as being one of the guys, well, you might have to find a guy who likes his lady to dress girly, but have the personality of a tomboy. There are guys out there like that, but you may have to be patient. Best of luck, girl.
2006-12-22 23:39:50 · answer #3 · answered by lapoetsmoderator 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that's who you are then you shouldn't do anything. It's okay to look girlie and act like one of the guys, that is just your personality. If a guy doesn't like you for this reason than he is not the guy for you! Just don't change yourself for anyone else, particularly a guy.
2006-12-22 23:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by xalia331 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think you would be every guys dream with the look of a girly girl but one of the guys i would have propose the first night
2006-12-22 23:36:54 · answer #5 · answered by PhillyDude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it. Sooner or later, you'll find the guy that wants you. They are a double edge sword, looks. You get guys to talk to you easily, but your personality is scaring them away. Nothing wrong with that. It's actually good. If a guy just wants the face and body, but not the person, then he doesn't deserve you.
2006-12-22 23:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by desanctismarco 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about what other people think of you. Be yourself if they like you when they get to know you then you don't need to be with them. I'm going through the same thing you are. Men think I',m oh so cute, girly and think that I'm going be the type that wants to just to hug and cuddle when i don't. It's just not me.
2006-12-22 23:45:47 · answer #7 · answered by neisha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for us to see people and judge them on their looks. It's the only interaction we get with most people, we see them in passing. I think it's just curiosity that causes us to categorize them and later, when we're older, our reactions are ingrained.
About being one of the boys, maybe because you dress the way you do, you get the message more clearly than most, that boys/men do not see girls/women as one of the guys. I think that's the way it is.
2006-12-22 23:38:57 · answer #8 · answered by Susan M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's really no way of trying to change yourself. your a tomboy and you love being that way. you cant help the way you are around guys. now if you like a guy and he is attracted to you then the tomboyish thing wont work. if you like a guy then keep the girly look and put your hair into prettey little designs. do your nails and such really nicely. wear makeup and things like that if you like things like that. ummm or you can try finding friends who are girls who can help u find the true girl within. i mean there are alot of girls out there who are serious girly girls and can tell you what they think and know. for example i am a girly girl. i love i mean i am totally obsessed with lip gloss. i mean i put like twenty four pounds of lip gloss every five minutes. i love tight jeans with prettey designs or just regular jeans. i like the nice shirts with sayings on them or just regular shirts that will look nice. i like making my hair into something prettey if i can and trying to make it work. i as well love the cheetah girls. lol. but for real tho just surround yourself by some girls that u can pointers from that will help you act the way you dress. girly. sometimes being to manly isnt something to be proud of. because soon your gonna wanna start wearing boy clothes and such and dressing and talking like them. doing what they do and thinking that really nasty things like bugs are cool. you can keep your guy friends but make sure you can get some girly friends as well. they can help you. good luck.
2006-12-22 23:43:44 · answer #9 · answered by shanice 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetheart, men are visual creatures, we get all our signals in our eyes not ears. Cupcakes, you should be glad that boys are talking to you. Just talk to any woman over 30 yrs old or fat chicks, see what is like in their world that no successful man talks to them, see what is like not being ask out. Honey, the attention you get from them is a clear signal that you are attractive but when the number of men talking to you goes down, then I will be worried.
2006-12-22 23:39:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋