2006-12-22 14:42:30 · 11 answers · asked by Onyx 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
a blonde really wanted to impress her husband by repainting the living room while he was bone to work. some time later when her husband returned, he found her lying in a puddle of sweat wearing two mink coats. he helped to her feet and asked "What happened honey?" and she replied "The paint said 'put on two coats' so I did."
There were three girls going on a road trip a blonde, a red head, and a brunette. Halfway to their destination, their car breaks down. They all agree to take one thing that will benifit them on the way there. The brunette says, "I'll take soap and was cloths so we can take a bath if we come across some water." The red head says, "I'll take some snacks so we can eat if we get hungry." Then, they both look at the blonde waiting for her to say something. Then she finally spoke up and said, "I'll take this window that i removed from the car." "WHY?!" asked the brunette and red head in unison. The blonde replied, "So if it gets hot, we can rolee down the window."
there were two sisters, a blonde and a brunette. when their parents died, they left them with the family ranch. the problem was, there were no animals. the brunette decided to go to texas to get them a bull to start the ranch back up. the brunette went to texas, bought a bull, and went to a little store to use the phone. when she arrive she only had 10 cent. "i need to use your phone sir" the brunette said. "ain't no phones round here darlin, we got a telegram machine though, 10 cent a word." "ok" said the brunette. the man walked her to the machine and she gave him the money. she thought for a whilethen typed the word 'COMFORTABLE'. "what in the world does that mean?" asked the man. "i just bought us a new bull" said the brunette. "so.." the man said. "so i need her to come get me and the bull. she's a blonde she'll understand.
2006-12-22 16:37:54 · answer #1 · answered by Aunna-Lea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says,
"OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person...
because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little f*u*k*e*r on your knee!"
2006-12-22 22:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Dad told me this one the other day:
A blond was on her way to the mall and was speeding. A cop who was a lady (and blond too) stopped her and said, "Ma'am, can I see your license?" The blond in the car was nervous and dug in her purse and grabbed a compact. Not realizing that what was in her hand wasn't her wallet, she handed it to the cop. The cop looked (and saw her reflection but thought it was the blonde in the car's picture) and said, "Well, if I would've known you were a cop too then this wouldn't of happened!"
lol, it still cracks me up soo bad!!
2006-12-22 23:02:38 · answer #3 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
she gets the toast out of the toaster in 1 piece.
wat does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
good work team.
why do blondes ask their partners to wear condoms?
so they can have a doggy bag 4 later.
how do u make a blonde laugh on monday?
tell her a joke friday.
wat do blondes miss most about parties?
the invitation.
2006-12-22 22:58:52 · answer #4 · answered by Luke M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After a hard day of work, a blonde walks in her front door to see that her husband on the couch with another woman. The blonde crys,"How could you?" and runs into another room, returning holding a gun to her head. The husband pleds with his wife to put the gun down, but blonde says, "Shut up, you're next!"
2006-12-22 22:52:07 · answer #5 · answered by macloveskingtut 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A blonde walks into a bar. OUCH!
2006-12-22 22:45:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Harley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Blonde walks into a computer store and can't seem to find what she is looking for. A store assistant comes up to her and asks: "May I help you?"
She says "I'm looking for some curtains for my monitor but I can't seem to find any."
The assistant looking perplexed asks " Why would you want curtains for that?"
She replys' "Well heeeellllooooo........... I've got Windows!!"
2006-12-22 23:06:43 · answer #7 · answered by 24 Hour Milk Bar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three women were sentenced to death. they were a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde. when the time came for them to be shot, the officer yelled "ready, aim,..." then the redhead yelled "Earthquake!!!" everyone went to hide and she escaped. When the brunette stood to be shot, the officer yelled "ready, aim,..." the brunette yelled "Tornado!!!" everyone went to hide and she escaped. When the blonde's turn came, the officer yelled "ready, aim,..." the blonde yelled "FIRE!!!"
2006-12-22 23:05:36 · answer #8 · answered by ajboy450 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First =)
2006-12-22 23:04:28 · answer #9 · answered by shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you drown a dumb blonde?
put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottem of a pool :)
2006-12-22 22:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by Danny ★☮❤ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋