Worried about single dad being by himself...advice?

Question

I feel like no one has gone through a similar situation...so please help me out if you have been. my parents got divorced when i was about 9 (i'm now 20) and since then my dad has been remarried. when i was a senior in high school they got divorced. since then my dad went from being an active, intelligent hard working person to someone who just sits in front of the tv...he even knows who paris hilton and britney spears are....its that bad. i feel so guilty. i live at college, which is 4 hours away from home. i feel that its my fault they got divorced, and now he's doomed for the rest of his life. he has an awesome job and basically enjoys life, but i feel like he's just going through the motions and will be happy to get out...almost like he's suicidal - but not. he's 57 so i feel like its too late to get a new start. any advice is really appreciated

Answer 1

being alone is never vary healthy. I'm in my early 60s and not married, have been, have 7 kids, sometimes my motivation may be lacking because i don't really have to. however I do live a very active sexual and physical life, i like to work at least 10 hours a day, party hardy the rest of the time and sleep as little as possible. leave him alone, but be there for him if he calls. have him become involved in a younger group of people and their ideas, remember that age is only a state of mind. 10 billion years in the scheme of eternity is nothing. think about it. some time you got to kick and old car in the butt to get it moving, but when in motion, get out of the way. have fun good luck stop worrying. he will be just fine, don't intervene

Answer 2

You know what? You were not to blame for the divorce! Get all of that stinking thinking out of your head! You were just a child! They had issues apart from you! You were not the problem! Listen, your dad needs female companionship! Sounds like he is lonely! Does he have Internet access? If so, there is a place where they can match you up with someone who is compatible with your personality. It is call eharmony.com , so tell him to check it out. They will have him take a personality profile test. Since it is a paid service will match him up with a person totally compatible with him! It will get the spark back in his eyes! Even if he just finds someone nice to write to and talk with it will be worth it. Hey kid, 57 is NOT too late to get started again! It is never too late until you are dead! OK? So try to get dad to check the website out....OK?

Answer 3

That's rough, but don't feel like YOU caused the divorce! Have you voiced your feelings to him? He may not realize the affect it's having on you. It's definitely not too late for him to get a new start. My grandmother passed away, and years later...my grandfather remarried. He was 84.

Just realize that you can talk to him and tell him what's on your mind, but you can't force him to 'live' life any more than he wants. Do you have any siblings or maybe an aunt or uncle whom you could tell this to, who live in his area? Even if he has brothers or sisters outside the area...maybe you could talk with them and see if they could visit him, or call him and try to spark some life back into him?

Answer 4

Why do you think that it is your fault? Have you been blamed? He is only "doomed for the rest of his life" if he lets himself be. You have no control over this. I'm sorry that you had to go through two divorces; that's why taking on a step family is not wise. (Ask Dr. Laura.) Your dad has issues with which to deal, &, when he is ready, he will. Trust God in Its process. Have patience for God's speed for Its plans are perfect. I don't mean that the waiting is easy; that's why we have to trust God. Let him know that you love him, & be open to talk with him when he needs to talk. I wish you both well.

Answer 5

My family is very similar.
And I worry about my Father the SAME exact way. I had to move to Arizona and he is still in Houston. But I've been told something several times now. "You cannot control other peoples happiness, ultimatley it is up to them." This is very true, your father is obviously an intelligent man (as is mine), but he more than a super hero dad...he is a regular person. Maybe he is just tired. Maybe watching T.V. and lounging around is something he needs to do for a while. Trust me, when you get out of college, get married, and start having kiddos.....he'll perk right up for the grand kids!! It's already happening in my family!! My point is...don't make yourself misereable, he is a grown man and it's his job to overcome his obstacles. He is the only person he can blame for his little rut.

Answer 6

Your not going to be much help, if you think 57 is to late to get a new start. He has to be the one to go out and meet people. Theres noway a nine year old can cause a parents divorce.

Answer 7

First of all its not your fault about the divorce and please get that out of your mind. Maybe he has given up on meeting a woman that will make him happy. Talk to him see if he is interested in dating if so set him up with a dating service or something like that_

Answer 8

tell him your concerned say dad straight out if you don't get up and moving I am afraid I am going to loose you and I am not ready to loose my dad or have to be taking care of my dad at such an early age from heart attack or worse. say do I need to call adult protective service on you. I worried about you. I just couldn't deal know you did something to yourself Dad why not try going to a doc a lot of guys go though this at your age . I need you around to see your grand kids grow and dance at my wedding.

Answer 9

sure, I do. i assume the drawback would be that she does not have a favorable male function form in her existence, and it ought to impression her down the line. however the reward would be that i do no longer would desire to argue with every person approximately how I advance her. She is in a very loving atmosphere, and that i enjoy being a single discern.

Answer 10

I think you should tell him of what having life really means........... or maybe you are worrying it too much, everybody knows those asses, you mean in a bad way? if it is that is bad, take him to a doctor, so he can open up his feelings.