Where do I start. My 1 1/2 yr old son has been diagnosed w/ mild autism. Plus he has terrible tantrums.?

Question

He cries a lot!!! Sometimes we don't even know why. We really can't go anywhere with him cause I'm afraid he'll hit someone a total stranger~ again. He doesnt eat anything but toast, waffles, fruit and milk. When he gets mad he bangs his head, throws himself on the floor back and forth. He is getting help but I can't really say it's helping. I'm loseing my mind slowly but surely. Does anyone have any pointers on the no eating and banging his head? He doesnt talk either. They are teaching him sign language.

Answer 1

I strongly recommend the book "The Out-of-Sync Child" for activities regarding the not eating and the head banging. The head banging is a self stimulatory behavior that your son uses most likely to calm himself when his environment is too overwhelming for him. Try proprioceptive (deep pressure) activities like sqeezing him firmly between two couch cushions. Make it a game, like you are making a sandwich and he is the meat. This deep pressure is calming to his central nervous system and will help him to relax. Pay close attention to the kinds of activites he likes. Children have an innate sense to seek out the stimulation that their brains need. Find controlled ways to help him get this same input.

Most activities I can suggest must be done under the supervision of someone trained in the technique. If he is not yet seeing an occupational therapist, please get a referral. They can help with both the eating issues, the tantrums, and the headbanging.

Also, research the P.L.A.Y. project, designed by Richard Solomon and Stanley Greenspan. You can find some preliminary information on www.playproject.org about the program. There is some really exciting evidence that the PLAY Project is really effective in improving function in children with autism. I have seen children go from nonverbal and nonresponsive to very verbal and affectionate within 1-2 years time.

It stands for Play and Language for Autistic Youngsters and is just what it says. A PLAY consultant comes to the home once a month and teaches the parent/caregivers how to support the child at the level he/she is at through play and how to help the child move into the next level. You may or may not have PLAY consultants in your area. It is a very nonobtrusive treatment and it works for a lot of children. Not only would the PLAY consultant train you, but anyone else you want to play with your child (i.e. the babysitter).

Also check out www.floortime.org and www.stanleygreenspan.com

PLAY is based on Greenspan's DIR/Floortime model as developed with Serena Wieder.

Good luck and all the best to you and your son!!!

Answer 2

Without knowing your child, I cannot say for sure what is causing this behavior. However, I think that teaching him a communication system is very important. I can imagine that it would be very frustrating to not have a way to communicate your needs, and this may be the cause of some of the behaviors. You mentioned that he is learning sign language. If this is working for him, great! If not, you may want to look up (do a google or Yahoo search) "Picture Exchange Communication System" as an alternative way to communicate. Speech therapy may also help.

Another thing that you may want to do is to keep track of the situations in which the tantrums occur. You can make a chart of what happens right before a tantrum occurs, and what happens right after. You can then look for patterns. This is called a Functional Behavioral Analysis (FBA). An example might be, does he get lots of attention or access to favorite toys when a tantrum happens? This may be a way for him to let you know he needs something. If you think that this may be the case, based on your charts, you can teach him a simple way to request those things, whether it be a sign for "mom," or handing you a picture of a toy he wants, pointing to an object, etc. Once he has learned this (you may need to physically guide him to hand you the picture or make the sign until he understands the connection between doing that and getting what he wants), only give him the item when he gives you the picture or sign. Make the appropriate behavior a way to obtain what he was previously getting after a tantrum.

About the eating issues, I have not read this book, but have heard good things about it, so it may be something that you consider: "Just Take A Bite: Easy, Effective Answers to Food Aversions and Eating Challenges" by Lori Ernsperger and Tania Stegen-Hanson

Here are some other resources that may be helpful. Best of luck!

"Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" by Ellen Notbohm - http://www.southflorida.com/sfparenting/sfe-sfp-autism,0,6196233.story

Website of Paula Kluth, Ph.D. - http://www.paulakluth.com/autism.html

Positively Autism (free online magazine, includes free materials/activities) - http://www.positivelyautism.com

Teaching Tips for Children and Adults with Autism by Temple Grandin, Ph.D. - http://www.autism.org/temple/tips.html


Books:

"Your Life is Not a Label: A Guide to Living Fully with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome" by Jerry Newport

"You're Going to Love This Kid!: Teaching Students With Autism in the Inclusive Classroom" By Paula Kluth

"Not Even Wrong: Adventures in Autism" By Paul Collins

Any book by Temple Grandin

Answer 3

My daughter has severe autism, and I guess you're luckier than we were, because we were in denial until she was two, and couldn't get help til three because of waiting lists.

Your state has an early intervention mandated by the federal IDEA for children ages birth to three. You qualify automatically. They should be in your home weekly (sometimes more often) to be helping you and your husband both learn how to help your son. If you guys don't get training, then your son will be limited to help during those times when therapists are there. It should happen 24/7. You should be learning the same signs he is also, so that you can work on training him to use them. I remember starting with just getting Breanna to say ONE word...when she'd throw a fit to get a drink, and we'd say "Juice....juice...I want the juice" and then give it to her, it seemed like hundreds of times. But within a few weeks, she had it, and we moved on to goldfish, or whatever her favorite food was at the time. We then moved on to two words, starting all over.

It'll be a few years, but with hard work, you'll be able to understand him, and you are starting SO young (that's wonderful) that he has so much potential to acheive. I would definitely get referrels to a behavioral therapist, ABA trainer, Greenspan teacher, etc. If you aren't sure which you like better, google autism treatments. Be wary of anything that offers a magic pill, there isn't one.

I know it is so hard, and that's why I always recommend that parents get in touch with their local autism society (www.autism-society.org, look under support groups) Even if you don't think you need it, it helps so much to have other adults to talk to about it, and they've been down the road and know what you are going through. YOU are NOT alone! You might also google yahoo groups, and join one called Parenting Autism. It is the best bunch of people I've ever met, caring and loving and never condemning when you say I'm sick of this SH*T. They talk you through it, and we all network and it's lovely. Also start reading at www.wrightslaw.com. It can help you find your son's legal rights through IDEA (Individuals with disabilities education act) Some states act like early intervention doesn't exist, others do massive amounts of great therapy.

Most of all, keep family involved, try to get one night out a week by yourself. Or even better with your husband. You want family involved all along so that it doesn't seem like craziness when you need help. I wish we had done that, now everyone says that babysitting a nine year old autistic is 'too hard'. When your parents or siblings whatever, say they don't know what they are doing, you can sarcastically remark that you don't either, but you could still use the break!!!

Much love and good luck,

Answer 4

Make sure you are using a licensed psychologist or other professional who specializes in autism and behavioral disorders.
I would contact your State Department of Human Resources, Division of Mental health and developmental services for help. Every state has some state agency charged with helping people like your son. Under developmental services his current diagnosis would be a related condition.

I would also google and find your local autism society. Get into a support group, too. You need someone to talk with and vent without concern of what you might say. They will help you to understand that progress is/can be very slow.

Autism no longer is what it used to be and is treatable. But the treatment must be consent and timely. Many people with autism or Asperger's Syndrome do talk, eventually, and live very productive lives. The younger the treatment starts the better the options are for the future.

Be consistent. Set a schedule because he may need the routine of daily life to help him. Remember if your son is learning sign language, you should too. Music has been found as an excellent source to calm the person, but which kind is trial and error to his reaction.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, all you can really do is ride it out. The behaviors you have described are all typical behaviors associated with the disorder. My son is also Autistic, and bangs his head, smacks himself and a few times even tried to gouge his eyes out, all before he turned two. He is now about to turn three. All you can do is try to put him in a safe place such as a bed and let him work out his anger. He may be crying because of frustration or it could be sensory issues. I suggest you start keeping a log and write down what is going on around him when he goes into these fits. It will take a while, but eventually you will start to see common denominators, so you will be able to lesson the meltdowns. As far as the eating goes, I wish my son ate that much! I posted a question just now about my son's own feeding difficulties. His primary source of food is still milk in abottle. Some people have said that they have seen differences when they put their child on casein/ gluten free diet. I had no luck, but it does work for some. If you decide to try I would give it at least 6 months. My bigger concern for you is that you seem to have lost faith that your child will progress. It is hard not to, but so important that you don't. If you do HE WILL NEVER GET BETTER. You have to keep in mind, that in most cases, progression comes from years of therapy. It may take a few years before you see the slightest improvement. The good news is that it was caught early which gives your son better odds for a functional life. We caught my son's Autism at 15 months and he gets an hour a week with an early interventionist and for the rest of his therapy we are on a wating list that is still months long. My son doesn't talk either. Consider joining a support group, or feel free to email me if you need to talk. Also keep in mind that your son is the same child that he was before the diagnosis and that his Autism is only a small part to who he is. Once you get into the swing of things it will get easier. It will always be stressful, but it is also incredibly rewarding and amazing at the same time. I love my son just the way he is, and have even been able to get past the point to where I wished he wasn't Autistic. There are so many things about his autism that I have even been able to embrace, and cherish, and would miss if he didn't do them. My son is my everything, just the way he is. As long as you continue to hope, whether it is 1 month or ten years from now, you will find your way there. I made a promise to my son that I would never give up on him. How could I possibly let him down? I have faith that he will be fine eventually, because I know that my love for my son is alot more powerful than his disability. Good luck to you both

Answer 6

The very best thing you can do is get two books: The Out of Sync Child and The Out of Sync Child Has Fun. Therapy is nice, but that's not 24/7. You need to learn how to work with him at home. Kids with autism have a really time understanding that what they learn in one place can be applied to all places, so you learning at home is actually more important that learning outside of the home, or with someone else working with him only. The crying, headbanging, not eating... those are all sensory issues, and unless you work with those, nothing will change. The two books I mentioned will help you understand how he thinks, why he does what he does, and give you pointers on how to help. PLEASE contact me, I help many families deal with sensory issues. My son is 4, and he is mildly autistic. I also babysit a 2 yr old, who had severe sensory issues when I started working with him. I would be more than happy to help. Also, make sure you are learning the signs, and using them consistently at home. With the one I babysit, once we started using the signs, his vocabulary started. It helped give him a visual reminder of the spoken word. If he doesn't try the signs himself, use hand over hand. Take his hands and form the signs, and praise him each and every time. If he uses them on his own, make a HUGE deal over it. Be really expressive emotionally, physically, and with facial expressions when you interact with him, this helps teach them social cues, and lots of positive reinforcement. I'll give you some more ideas when you contact me, this is just too detailed to list it all here. It's a process, and you have to start with one step at a time. Consistency is KEY, I cannot express this enough! And, you have to be firm. Autistic children are aces at manipulation, and when you add that to the reactions to sensory input, watch out! My email is [e-mail]. My outgoing emails will end up in your bulk or spam folders, so watch there for them.

Answer 7

Have you heard of the medication Risperdale? It does help with mood changes and therefore settles kids in like one mood. I babysat an autistic boy who used to have bad tantrums and now he is as sweet as sweet can be. The medication helps him a lot and he himself feels a lot better too.


I just saw that the mdication can be started at 5 yrs of age. But maybe there's somesthing that can be given to younger children. Or this might help some others who answered this question.

Answer 8

Oh you poor thing, I wish I had some answers. You probably want to just give up or burst out crying all the time, but just be strong. I hope you'll make it through alright, but he is your son and you love him no matter what. God never gives anyone more than they can handle, you are probably a very strong person. Just hang in there. That must be so difficult, makes us grateful for what we have.

Answer 9

I'm sorry about your situation.
Have you spoken with your son's pediatrician or his teachers? They should be able to set you up with resources to help you when the stresses get to much for you. They should also be able to help you find support organizations & a sort of time-out hospice for you. Someone who will come in & stay with your son so you can get away for some YOU time.
My heart goes out to you, honestly.
I hope you can find the assistance you need & I hope your son finds the help he needs. I hope you all find peace & a way of living with a difficult situation.
Seek out resources who can help & support you. People who can answer your questions because they have dealt with it personally.
Once your son finds a way to communicate his wants, needs & emotions I would hope the tantrums will stop. Hang in there, your son needs you.
God Bless.

Answer 10

he's going threw his terrible 2's. It starts at one and ends at 3. Believe me it's terrible! My nephews all went through this and now my son. He is 20 months old now and he throws tantrums though not nearly as bad. He doesn't talk either, but I'm not to worried because my nephew didn't talk untill he was 3 years old! His eating habbit is a phase. Try giving him something other than what he wants and tell him that that is all he gets and stick to it. Eventually the head banging will hurt him and he will learn not to do that because it hurts.