I told my mom I think i have ADHD adn she said......(read on)?

Question

She said that i just like to show off, I told her that I can't help it and sometimes I really wish I wern't like this because it is bothering me. she also said,"How can you be ADHD if you can sit there for hrs end and be lazy?" She also said, "You don't want to go on ritlin so just deal with it" After hearing this I don't even bother telling her I want to get evaluted. I feel like I'm not understanded, i am so confused. Help?

Answer 1

You really need to be evaluated by a professional . Having ADD or ADHD is not the end of the world but rather the beginning of a new one.
The reason that you need to get evaluated properly is that if you do have ADD/ADHD you will process information differently and traditional methods of teaching often will not work with an ADD brain.
Therefore in order to be successful you have to work within the parameters of an ADD brain.
If you do have ADD there are life strategies that you need to develop . Meds are only part of the solution.
I didn't get diagnosed with ADD until I was 42 and it was so obvious that I'm amazed that they missed it,
I was a class clown, accident prone, lots of unfinished projects , I got great grades if I was into the subject matter and lousy ones if I got bored. My papers and reports were invariably late because I waited until the last minute to do them. Does any of this sound familiar ?
Most people upon meeting me would asked me if I was on speed [ this was the 60's ] and the honest answer was no ,it was my natural state of being.
You may want to go to your local bookstore and buy a copy of an ADD book.
My monitor is sitting on a copy of Attention Deficit Disorder In Adults by Dr. Lynn Weiss
puplished by Taylor Publishing Co. of Dallas TX
Both you and mom should read it.
good luck

Answer 2

that was rude of her. Look at what she said... "sometimes you like to show off" That is a blaming statement. Then she said "How can you be ADHD if you can sit there for hrs end and be lazy?" that is also a blaming statement. Then she said "You don't want to go on ritlin so just deal with it" and that is a guilt trip. I am very good at evulating this stuff cause my family uses these tactics on me alot.

Blaming statements and guilt trips are used as 'adult temper tantrums'. They are used when people want to control your behavior. When they want you do something that they think you should do.

Of course you don't tell her you want to get evaluated. Why would you want to open up to someone who just attacked you verbally?

You are confused (as I used to be)... because manipulation is a mind game. Mind games confuse you.

As a mother though, I will say that you saying that could make her feel helpless or that if you do have it.. that it is her fault for giving you bad genetics or whatever. I think she felt upset and instead of dealing with her feelings, she lashed out to make it your fault and to stop you from pursueing the matter that makes her feel bad (calling you names like lazy and stuff). Yes, mind games are confusing... been there... good luck

Answer 3

I have a 17 yr old daughter that was diagnosed to have ADHD when she was 6. Her pediatrician put her on Ritalin which helped her immensely. She took Ritalin for about 2 yrs, at that time we were able discontinue the med. because she had pretty well learned to control the ADHD herself. From what you have said about your mother saying~you sit there for hrs & being lazy~ makes me think that you may have ADD instead of ADHD.
My advice to you is to talk to a teacher or school counselor about it & see if they agree that you may have one of these disorders. If they do, ask them to talk to your mother about it. I sincerely wish the best for you and I hope that you get whatever kind of help that you need. Take care & may God bless you!

Answer 4

Your mother's comment tells me that she knows very little, if anything, about attention deficits or hyperactivity disorders and how they're treated. Besides medications there is also behavioral modification. If there is a relative who lives near you, perhaps that person can intervene with your mother on your behalf. I'm sorry your mother is so unsupportive when you're telling her in no uncertain terms that you need help. She's turning her back on you. She has nothing to lose by helping her child and you may have much to gain. Go get her and show her my answer.

Answer 5

If you cannot take medication, you can meditate... it has the same effect, but is even more beneficial.
I realize your condition isn't the best suited for sitting for half an hour doing nothing... so start with a goal of 3 minutes & work up to 30.

And I really would recommend this over pills.

Answer 6

First an evaluation is needed. 2 things mimic ADHD; hypomania and Borderline personality disorder- read the DSM-4. Inform your mother not to minimize potential mental health disorders. The number 1 problem with untreated dissorders is substance abuse.

Answer 7

Depending on your age you could go talk to school counselors, if you r in school.
People with ADHD are quite often said to be lazy, three of my son's have ADHD, they are the laziest people he knows. They like to talk a lot and will fidget.
One likes to be the center of attention, gets pulled of the right track easily.
One is a bit quick to get mad.
It would be nice if you could be assessed.
Depending on where you live their might be a family counseling center, they could help you.
Hope this helps. good luck.

Answer 8

Girls (esp. teens) with ADD tend to be more introverted that boys with ADD. I do not know if you are male or female, but I though I would mention it. I am an adult female with ADD, so I sympathize with your situation. My folks did not "believe" in head doctors of any kind. I was also diagnosed bipolar when I was in my 30's. Both disorders affect mood and behaviour.Try keeping a journal, it is helpful in tracking your moods and can be a great stress release. You may even find that you enjoy writing!

Answer 9

Talk to your doctor, they are the only one's who can help you find out if you are or not. You may be ADD and not ADHD, because ADHD means you are hyper all the time, moving from one thing to another and can't sit still long enough to focus. ADD, means you have trouble concentrating on what you need to be doing, and doesn't mean your hyper. You may start something and can't finish it but move on to something else that caught your eye or you are more interested in at the moment.

Answer 10

If you are very certain that you may have ADHD try drinking a can of soda in the morning. It will not be as long lasting or as strong as medication but the stimulating effect of caffine is similar. Even if your mom is unwilling to have you evaluated this is a way that you can help yourself till you are able to find more help.