Is there anything I can do about adult step children who are rude and do not accept me as their fathers wife?

Question

Have been with their father for over 10 years, helped to raise them, they are so cold, unfeeling and rude to me and my children, we have all bent over backwards to work things out... they do not respect their father either....

Answer 1

Wait a minute...you said these step children are adults? I don't think you need to worry so much about this...but they do! They are adults and they should know better than to act like children. If they are really mature enough, they would tell you how and why they feel negatively towards you rather than treat you and your husband so rudely.You could sit down with them and tell them how much their behavior upsets you and find out the reasons behind it. Try to find a common ground with them, but if they still act so cold, maybe family counseling could help. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Here is an answer for you but you might not like it..Treat them as they treat you...It's there fathers fault because he should have put them in check a long time ago.It's your fault for letting them disrespect you.Once you try to change things now it will be worse.So here it is.If they can't abide by your rules(house)tell them to find another place to live.If they don't have a place to live then send they butts to boot camp for a month or two.Maybe they may learn the meaning of RESPECT.You and your husband have to work together as a team and don't let no rug rats or bay-bay kids run over you.They are children and a child should be taught to stay in a childs place.You sound like you need some Dr Phil if you know what I mean....Good Luck

Answer 3

i was in a similar situation with my mom's new love. i rejected him when i was a little girl. but now, as an adult i understand that i had to accept people, especially in my mom's life. and this might sound harsh but this is how i see it: the adult children might see you as an intrusion into the family where you are taking all the love and attention from dad. and you cant quite avoid the children since they are part of your husband's life. i suggest that you just tolerate it and look strong and confident in front of them-proving that you are here for your husband no matter what and that you stand your ground in the family. good luck!

Answer 4

I actually have got here upon that like canines experience at the same time as they could take the ease in a concern (they experience concern) the problem with people is that even at the same time as all the shi* hits the fan having bounced off the walls and did not omit all and sundry. I actually have continuously succesfully subsidized the problem you outline through punishing them with kindness and a number of their renowned liquor images continuously has worked for me. of route there are some more desirable than 950 human beings I actually have met who genuinely would take me out if provided the prospect. yet heavily punish them through being over board effective smile at the same time as it hurts be a carming angel and keep their glasses fulll and the snack platter complete as well. they are both undesirable or they are going to se you as human yet in spite of everything you won't be able to burn your husbands bridges.....

Answer 5

i think they really need something special from you... if they have lost their mother then they need someone to be, not a replacement, but someone that can give them what their mother gave them. Each child needs something different. I think that's up to you to decide.
Time heals every wound, so I guess you might also need more.

Teenagers may be a different story though. Some aren't accepting to anyone, so time may also allow them to get used to you and the way things work.

You've really got to be the boss-punishments, yes, but also great rewards.

Answer 6

You say they are "adult step children" They don't sound adult to me. I would think they would want their dad happy. You've spent 10 years helping raise them, it's time to turn them loose and let them live in the real world.

Answer 7

Not really. I'm sorry. They're disrespectful to their own dad, so it's unrealistic to expect respect.

My dad remarried when I was in my late twenties. I've hit it off quite well with his wife, and there's mutual respect there. Sure, we have bumps...that's part of life in relationshipland.

All you can do is keep the door open and make it easy on your husband to do the same. I know this must rankle. I'm sorry.

Answer 8

how old is da children.... sometimes it hard for the kids to get use to the step mom cuz dere is no one better den their own parents.... a reason dey r mad at their own dad is cuz he chosed to get a new mom..... work with them, spend time with them but dont force it....... tell them dat u really want to have a happy family n u arent tryin to replace their mother in their heart but u want to be there for them whenever they need it.... they might feel dat u r tryin to steal their mother's place..... i no dat bein someone stepparents is hard n challengin but be patience cuz one day they will realize dat hey u arent all dat bad n thank you >.< GOOD LUCK ^.^

Answer 9

You and your husband need to have a talk with them and tell them that weather or not they like it you two are together. have you ever thought that maybe their mother has feed them garbage about the two of you. You need to show them that you love them and except them as your own and weather or not they chose to except your relationship you will always love them...They will eventually come around....Good luck

Answer 10

They are adults now, too late now, you should have disciplined them and taught them how to behave 10 years ago.