My financee lied to me and seen another woman in another country while on R&R. We are suppose to get married in April. He sent her flowers a few times, but he does send friends flowers. I invested the flower account and noticed only all my flowers he sends, say "I love you". But do you send "friends" roses on valentines day. He has appologized over and over and says he knows he messed up and will do whatever it takes to rebuild my trust. He promised he would never hurt me again. He keeps saying over and over how much he loves me. I love him with all my heart, but my heart still hurts undescribely over what he did. I want it work with us, I love him with all my heart. For over 2 years I remained faithful to him, while he was in Iraq and he does this to me. Should I give him another chance?
2006-12-22 12:52:45 · 14 answers · asked by kitty cat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I also found out this girl is a barfly and drunk. He gave her the exact same thing he got me for Christmas
2006-12-22 12:54:51 · update #1
I dont know what kind of gut he is, but from my expeirences i would say no...you are just setting your self up for a let down again.
2006-12-22 12:56:04 · answer #1 · answered by B-ryan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough and I feel deeply for you, you have invested a lot of time in this person and the cut is deep, here is the thing if you do take him back and forgive him, can you get over the fact that he has done this to you,he has broken the most important part of any relationship TRUST when that gets broken in most cases the relationship is over, it will be painful for you no matter which way you go take him back and you'll always have it in the back of your mind that he is up to no good when he is a way, don't take him back and the pain will linger , your in a no win situation and that sucks, but remember you did nothing wrong, you have giving everything to this man, this has happened to me twice and both times I have told the lady bye and just walked away, never ever give somebody a second chance to hurt you, this is going to be painful but you have to let him go for your own well being and that's what is important here you, you are the issue not him look what he has done,it's Christmas and your in pain no real man would ever do that to someone he loves no excuses bar fly or not, I have had many temptations but never went the wrong way i would not do that to the women I love I expect that they behave the same, the tears are going to flow for a while but you will become stronger, and you will keep your self respect remember you and only you are important here. I really wish you the best and I hope whatever you do it works out for you best of luck on this and I'll be cheering for you.
2006-12-22 21:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by happyeverafter48 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is your choice and call. Dont give him another chance if the trust is gone because you will never believe in him again which could actually cause more stress for both of you. If you can find it in your heart to trust him try if you want, but be realistic if he indeed has strayed in a sense it might be possible that he will do it again. Trust your instincts. By the way what would you tell your best friend in the same situation?
2006-12-22 20:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by wandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I dont think that he should be sending anyone flowers with i love u on them unless it is to you. Apparently he is not trying to do everything it takes to rebuild your trust b/c if he was he would quit doing what he is doing. I understand that you love him with all of your heart b/c im in the same situtation but just a little different. My man talks to a chick that he says is just his friend but talks to her in private. Anyways you may love him with all of your heart but it sounds like he may not be the one for you. You could do better than your man doing what he is doing to you. There is always more guys out there and im a true believer that everyone has a perfect match for them. Even though it will hurt you to leave him you need someone that is going to not do them things to you while they are gone. If he was being faithful to you while he was gone he would of never done that to you.
2006-12-22 21:01:53 · answer #4 · answered by bbygrl_23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is doing this to you now, he will probably end up doing it again sometime in the future. And marriage is not going to fix him. It's his type of personality it sounds like. I'm sure you really love him but he is the type that needs a lot of attention from the opposite sex. if you are willing to accept this then go for it, but you don't want to find yourself unhappy and with a low self esteem years down the road and look back on how you had a choice to avoid this situation. We all get hurt in relationships but when the trust is broken, it's difficult to have a successful relationship with happiness.
2006-12-22 21:00:58 · answer #5 · answered by holls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can really answer that one. If someone suggests you leave, rethink that one and don't leave it up to other's opinions. Only you know how you feel and what the relationship is truly about. I can't imagine how hard it must be for him too. i would probably go with another chance if you think you don't need to always keep your eyes wide open. Sorry! I just read your additional comments, and given that, I would be real careful about feeling bad for the rest of your days.
2006-12-22 20:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, kitty have you really been faithful is maybe his question in his head. these guys in iraq have been mistreated by their spouses and girlfriends. i have a son who was there and his wife left him for another serviceman and only two weeks to go. this was sept. their divorce is final now and my son says the whole time he just couldn't believe her that she was faithful, so does your man know you are faithful and if not then let him know it. if that doesn't matter, then let him know you know about the other woman and let him know you don't want to share. you deserve to have someone love you whole and you should be able to love him whole. i wish you luck let me know how it turns out.
2006-12-22 20:59:46 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I wouldn't, if they do in once, they may do it again. There may be a chance that they wont ever do it again, but since there's a risk they could be unfaithful again, I'd rather not be hurt again.
So, my answer is no, I wouldn't give him another chance.
2006-12-22 20:59:02 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a man that plays you like that doesn't deserve you back.
your worth more.
that's fantastic that you stay faithful.
but why would he want to cheated on you with that drunk?
what a loser.
take him back and see what happens and how you feel.
don't stay with him if it hurts too much.
it's not worth losing sleep over or becoming depressed relax.
2006-12-22 20:58:30 · answer #9 · answered by Millie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes its stressful over there and sometimes things like that happen. plus your not married yet and its not a crime. if you love and he loves you, hey you only live once so see where it goes. if it happens again then remember its not an accident. congratulations also. do it on daufuskie island, sc
2006-12-22 20:57:26 · answer #10 · answered by NEVAM8DHONORLL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋