Is being a step-mother harder than being a biological mom?

Answer 1

YES... DEFINITELY.... Being a step-mom is the hardest most awesome role I have ever had. I have 2 step-daughters, 1 biological daughter and 2 biological sons. I refer to all 3 girls as "my girls" and "my daughters". They are amazing girls, I love them as my own and they know it. They do not call me "Mom" but tell me I am the "best step-mom ever"... My biggest challenge is discipline. My husband and I have 1 son together so he is a step dad to my bio son & daughter. We are very strict, and we support each other's decisions on disipline and NEVER voice our objection within earshot of our children. Step-parenting is definetly a team sport... lol It took me a long time to realize that if there is mutual respect between myself and my step-daughters they will accept the disipline when it is warrented. We make it very clear that their are no favorites.... ever. Is it always smooth? No, but it is all good and the love around this house is very heart warming. I cannot imagine my life without my 2 very special "daughters".

Answer 2

Yes, I cope with it everyday and I'm still doing it. No, you don't love your step kids as much as your own, but you pretend that you do -for their sake and for the sake of everyone that knows you. Even with excepting this fact and with everything you do for them -this still makes me the wicked step mother. In their eyes, no matter how old they are (even 3) they only see the fact that YOU are not their mother and now their dad is with you. Just keep trying because even if it doesn't work out later on between you two, you can walk away knowing that you did nothing that can held against you. I will say this on a note to correct things. I had a lot of issues (still kinda do) with my oldest step son. He's sort of a brat and he's 3, so I get it. Of course that is a defiant age anyway. Anyway, this girl I'm friends with at work suggested that I could make it better by spending some one on one time with him. It did seem to have a very good effect. I may just keep trying it until things are better for good, which may be a long time. Above all, I still feel like it's important not to let ANY kids, yours or step, run over you in your own home. You have to be firm on some things, and relaxed on others.

Answer 3

In a sense it is. I am a stepchild and I'm constantly trying to make sure that everyone is happy (particularly my father) and that the right choice was made. I have accepted my step mother with open arms, but the difference is, I knew her before she and my dad got together.
I think the stepchild is constantly judging and looking for every little problem they can find with the step parent. It's as if they want to prove that is was pointless for mom and dad to divorce and for younger kids, it is a fear that the step-parent is "the replacement" for mom or dad. Baby steps work best in order to blur that line that the step kids draw to somewhat distance themselves from the step parent.

Answer 4

definitely! It takes a long time for MOST children to accept her, usually they never though! Most women will not find it easy to put up with the pain and difficulty of raising step kids. Even biological moms have problems raising (especially teenagers) kids, being a step mom, you can expect the problem/difficulty is doubled, or worse.

Answer 5

Yes, because you are dealing with children that you did not raise. They possibly have different morals, values, work ethics, household rules, bed-time rituals - lots of things that you did not teach them, so, yes, it is more difficult. Not impossible, but it is more difficult.

My step children were extremely difficult. I married their father 2 years after their mother died. My children were about the same age and their father had died. We got married and combined our families.. The first year was pure HELL and then it got worse!

The good news is that now we have been married 12 years and our 4 children are all in their 20's, some are married, the others have stable, loving relationships and they are all normal. They behave a lot like regular brothers & sisters and are a joy to my husband and me.

Good Luck

Answer 6

My opinion yes,because when you are the biological mother then you already know the child,you know what he like what he doesn't and you don't have to worry about building a relationship you have to worry about making it stronger. But when you are a step mother you have to earn the child's trust and work on creating a relationship,which will take year's to do.

Answer 7

I definitely think so. I am both....and I find I have a much harder time with my step son than my son.....they are 2 years apart. Part of it is fear that if they love you they are betraying their "real" mom on some level. I love all three of my kids and I wouldnt give up my step son any more than my own two but it can be a difficult position if you dont have the support of your spouse.

Answer 8

yes b/c it takes longer to earn the respect of the title mom than a biological mom. and for some it takes a while to accept the fact the dad and mom arent together and someone has taken the place.

Answer 9

Yes, because with a step-mom you have to earn the respect of your step child.

Answer 10

Being a step-mother gives you the luxury to somewhat disconnect emotionally where being a biological mother you can't hardly ever make yourself do that.