My Girls are 6 and 3 and so far as much as my husband (their father) have tried to instill repect and order,and they pretty much dismiss anything we say to them. We are consistant and we set limits, we do time outs and all that. I have even watched the different nanny shows for help. I have tried charts and chores and all that. Does anyone have advice that might help??? Please I need something before I jump off the deep end.
2006-12-22 12:48:25 · 21 answers · asked by useless_knowledge 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Okay, they do not watch too much tv they do not play video games, they go out and are on school. At school they are fine, My 6 year old was student of the month! But when we get home its like they exhale and explode all they have kept in all da
2006-12-22 12:58:07 · update #1
Maybe I should reiterate that they are 6 and 3 their chores are basic like feed the cats and dog (dry food and they are capeable and do it) pick up toys which is a battle and yes we have taken stuff away for a while to show we mean business... we have done the reward chart sticker system, They just do not listen, we have basic rules, no running, we have a small apartment and running is for outside, be respectful, use nice words no hitting kicking ect.. they are not violent, and they do have manners they just dont listen!!! And yes we know the clean up song and to whoever asked why we had kids to begin with, obviously does not have kids!
2006-12-22 15:19:38 · update #2
You might have to be tough for a few weeks, just don't give them the chance to dismiss you. When you ask them to do something, be right there to hand-over-hand them if they don't do it. Say you tell the six year old, "Time to pick up toys"...then you'd take her by the hand, walk her around, point out everything that needs put away. If she won't pick it up, it turns into exactly what it sounds like, you put your hand over hers, pick it up using her hand, and put it away. It's going to be a struggle at first, especially if she's used to stalling or pushing limits further and further. The three year old will be easier because she doesn't have as much experience with it. The struggle will be easier now, while she's still smaller than you are. WHen she gets older, the struggles will be over different things and she won't respect you, as well as being bigger than you.
We've had to do this a few times with our kids. We've also done a big cleanup. Once when the girls (ages seven and six right now) really were being rude, disrespectful and not helpful, dh and I went through their rooms and bagged up every possession they owned, toys, books, pictures, and even clothes. They had a few outfits and that was it. Once they kept their room clean for a week, we told them how pleased we were and they were allowed to tell us one thing each that they wanted back. They earned stuff back week by week. If they got it messy, they lost everything again. They were five and four at the time, and got it pretty much in a month.
The important side of charts and stickers and such, is that you have to make it attainable and meaningful. For a three year old, that will mean that every evening she gets a reward if her chart is mostly filled up. For a six year old, it could be once a week. Don't make it impossible for them either. And you don't have to make rewards a big expensive deal either, for our kids it was a scoop of ice cream, or an extra story at bedtime.
Good luck
2006-12-22 16:15:42 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard with children at that age. You need to have a punishment when they don't listen. Maybe time out or loose a tv show or a favorite toy. But you must follow through with the punishment so they know you mean business. It will take time and your patience but it does work. And in the middle of all of this remember to let them be kids. They sound absolutely lovely. Good Luck. From someone who has been there.
2006-12-22 16:08:17 · answer #2 · answered by thmsnbrgll 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm chores? like putting up there toys? Make it seem fun sing a song sing the clean up song ( if you don't know it I feel sorry for you ) anyway you sing the clean up song "Clean up clean up everybody clean up everybody everywhere clean up" make them think it's fun! ya know and what my mom used to do is she had this board we got a sticker on it if we was good and by the end of the week if we had every sticker filled in we got a treat we could go to the dollar store and pick something out. I don't know if that will help but I hope so
2006-12-22 14:00:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... why not talk to them heart to heart and ask them whats wrong so that you could do something to compromise the things that they have been doing.
also try to bring them in a park where in youa and your daughters can play thats a great start so that they will be more open to you. try bond with them.
also try go in a place where the three of you could just go run wild and shout all things that are making you feel bad after that they may feel a bit better. also it could serve as a reverse psychology theyll be shock how crazy you can be heheheh
break a leg hehe
ingat.. or in english Take Care
2006-12-22 14:16:06 · answer #4 · answered by HB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm still growing up but what my parents did was when we were in time out they put us in a corner and just totally ignored us so that we knew what we did was wrong another thing is ALWAYS make eye contact when I babysit if I don't get to their level and make eye contact the kids went haywire and ignored everything so give them a stern look when talking to them. If none of those work a lite hit on the bum will always work (not to hard just lightly).
2006-12-22 12:53:30 · answer #5 · answered by Olivia Morbid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
turn off the TV. have quiet in the house. Make 2 or 3 rules that can not be broken with out punishment. Maybe there is too much they have to remember to do or not to do. Give them plenty of toys to play with. Not hand held game things. it stimulates them too much.
2006-12-22 12:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by swamp elf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CALL THE SUPERNANNY!!!!!!!!!! LOL! Okay, other than that, how about getting a really friendly older kid, maybe a preteen that has a generous heart, and letting them be friends? When I was a preteen, I had a neighbor that was only 4-ish, and I was REALLY nice to him. As a result, he practically obeys almost my every word.
2006-12-22 12:52:21 · answer #7 · answered by Dynamite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If santa brings them a sack of potatoes they might decide to behave. Otherwise, BE CONSISTANT. Changing the way u punish will not help
2006-12-22 12:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by ce_ben1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time for Nanny 911 my dear, that or Dr Phil
2006-12-22 12:50:10 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Power peceived is power acheived. Go for a major power grab. They will resent you in the short, but it will pay off in the long.
2006-12-22 12:51:08 · answer #10 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋