If I have a child, then why do white people ask if I am married?

Answer 1

girl im white unmarried and have a child and everyone that i know and people i do not know at one time has asked me if i either knew who the father was or if i was married. I see where you are coming from its dumb!

Answer 2

So, it's just white people? What race are the majority of your friends? If your answer is black, then maybe you notice this question being asked mostly by whites, because your own friends and family are black and since they know you, they have no reason to ask that question.

But perhaps you are coming across alot of religious people who feel that you should be married when you have a child.

Answer 3

Wow... I am white and find it funny how white people are finding this question affensive... she is simply pointing out the fact that black people almost never get married (before or after) they have children. Not that I have something against unwed mothers of any race, I myslef was at one point an unwed mother and don't believe simply having a child makes a good excuse for marriage, but I rarely see married black mothers... or even black mothers with boyfriends. She is only making herself and her own race look bad... not ours! Very rarely do fathers stick around for their kids, let alone african-american fathers. Watch Maury paternity test shows...you'll see 90% of the woman are black and run off stage crying after being called a hoe by the 15th man being tested and he's not even her baby's daddy...


Let me ask you an off-topic question... I am 9 months pregnant, how come while I was sitting in my OBs office the other day a black lady asked me, "how many weeks YOU IS?"? Does that even make sense??

Answer 4

I am single mom and white and I get asked all the time I dont think people are trying to stereotype you and I have been asked by other races as well not just white people.

Answer 5

I asume by paying attention to your words,that u r married and verry proud of it, you feel that the simple truth of it sould leave no dought in anyones mind that you are marriedweather it be in church, in front of the judge, jumping a broom on the beach or wooded area or mabey even a beautiful night when you pleaged yourself to eachother to be "as married" for all etrnity.
" White people "are more then likly trying to be politicly correct, and to the upper level collage educated proffesionals crowd this is showing respect and being polite.(asking not assuming that you are married) Ther might be something special they see in you and want to validate the pic they instantly get of you and your happy familey is indeed correct, might give them some glimmer of hope for the young people and the world in general.
Is it realy only white people that ask you or is it that it only bothers you when THEY do it.
If this is the case, please tell who ever drilled into your head that white people will not respect you, they did you a great injustist, because of ther own insurcity's you know have a lower self esteam then you would have had other wise,there insecurity has turned to prejusdest twards a gruop of people foren to you and prejudest twards yourself and that is truly crule heartbreaking thing to have drilled into your head at such a joung age.
My wish for you is that you through you experance have the wisdom to not pass this same heart break on to your own child.That you wont drill into this innocent life the lie that a certin group of people will not respect her because her skin is differant, there instilling in that young soul that they are less worthy.
wisdom born of pain is still wisdom,let your child like themselfs,be trumphent in that they are who they are and please allow yourself to feel the same. look into the mirror every chance you get and smile and allow your child to do the same
Are you sure that

Answer 6

Its too bad that only whites ask you this question, but are you sure that others arent that nosey, for thats what their question implies. It is not anybody's business whether you are married or not, and you should politely tell the asker that you would prefer not to answer that question. They would, if they have any common sense, stop at that.

Answer 7

I don't think you will find that it's just white people. People are rude in general. Especially the ones from the old school, their beliefs are that you should be married before you have children.

I think that it's rude you are singling out white people for such a statement.

Answer 8

Do you actually have a child? Or is this just a hypothetical (pretend) question?? It doesn't sound like you actually have a kid. So my guess is, you are bringing this up because you yourself are a racist? Proof that racism is not just a sickness of the majority, it is a sickness of the minority, as well.

Shame on you.

Answer 9

I think all people will ask.
I mean it's a natural question, I got that a lot too, especially when they know I'm still young. Even my pediatrician asked that. So, I think it's a natural reaction, just like when you're pregnant and people automatically ask "a boy or girl."

I won't even worry about it, or judge which people ask questions.

Answer 10

because they want to know. If you think that its was a good decision to have a child before getting married then don't worry about what anyone asks you...regardless of their ethnicity. If you do get mad then it shows that you feel insecure and feel that you made a poor decision.

Answer 11

Most people get married before they have kids. I have two kids and I'm not married. Just correct them or simply say no.