I am considering either going to the justice of the peace or having a small wedding... I have been with my fiance for 9 years and we have a son together. My Mom says it would be stupid to have a wedding... and that we should just go do the paperwork. She says people will think a wedding this late in the game, with a baby is foolish. What do you think?
2006-12-22 11:57:16 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We own a house together, etc. It's like we're already married.
2006-12-22 11:59:05 · update #1
I think your mom is being silly, not you. A wedding is a celebration of the commitment, right? So sure you're pretty committed already, but why not celebrate the life/family you'll be building together now that your son is here in the presence of friends and family?
I do think it'd be weird to have a frou-frou affair, but I think you should have a party, goshdarnit.
2006-12-22 17:22:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's not foolish at all. If you want a wedding, have your wedding. Just doing the paperwork would be a very unromantic option for a couple who has been together for so long. Even if it feels like you are already married a wedding can be the celebration of your commitment to each other. The people who love you and know how much you love each other will be very happy to share with you that day and you will always remember it. How would you feel if you didn't have a wedding? Explain this to your mother if she's so concerned about the whole thing. Besides who cares about what people might think, this is something that has great significance for you as well as for your fiancee, so whether people understand it or not should be of no concern.
2006-12-23 12:05:24 · answer #2 · answered by marij 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's all up to you. Don't do a big thing if you don't want to, and yet don't underestimate the significance of such an event in your life together. Have a private ceremony at the courthouse, then throw a party afterwards. That you've been together for nine years is irrelevant. The certificate is a great help with legal, medical, and financial matters.
Do what you feel comfortable with... I wanted to get married, but I didn't want a big to-do, nor did my husband. I am not a fervently religious person, so having a wedding ceremony just was not important except for the legalization of our marriage. I had a lot of pressure from the in-laws to have a big wedding, but I didn't give in because it just wasn't what I wanted. We had a small fireside ceremony (25 guests), at a country inn, with a JP presiding, then had a formal luncheon with a jazz combo for entertainment. No dancing b/c hubby and I don't like to. Then took the party to my mom's house and ate, drank, and talked and laughed. The biggest expense we had was the 10 dozen white Virginia roses!
2006-12-22 20:12:01 · answer #3 · answered by Angela M 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
that is very traditional thinking - but the truth is that a marriage is still just as special, no matter how long it takes to get to that point. The question is - Do You WANT a Wedding? Planning a wedding can be stressful and expensive. If you really want one, and are willing to go through the expense to put on a wedding - then go for it! In today's day and age, no one will think it is stupid - though you may get a few "It's about time...'s" lol.
(PS - you shouldn't expect your parents to pay for the wedding, since you are living on your own already though if they offer to help that is fine:))
2006-12-23 20:23:50 · answer #4 · answered by Chrys 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with getting the paperwork, as long as you both feel committed to each other (and, at 9 years, that seems likely). However, if you do have a wedding, I would go with something small. Anyone invited to it should be aware that no gifts are expected. After all, it isn't as if you are just starting off life together. You've had a bit of practice.
2006-12-22 20:04:31 · answer #5 · answered by p_carroll 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Never to late to get married. I think you should make it legal. If something should ever happen to you or him, then without being married neither is legal elegible for the others remains. His/Her family can step in and say what happens to the body. Sorry to be so blunt. If you love each other unconditionnally then do a wedding. The other person is suppose to be soul mate so why not show it and be happy with the love of your life. Make it legal so nobody can claim either of yous decision of your life together.
I telling you from experience. My husband, my best friend, and I were together about twelve years before we got married and I still think the same way of him. He is my soul mate. If you believe that the two of you will be together forever make it legal and be happy.
Some people don't realize what they have untill its gone. Don't make you.
The wedding can be as big or little as you and he want. It is never to late to make your love soluble. Enjoy things in your life while you can because none of us are guarantted the next day. So do the right thing and marry the love of your life.
Anyway make things legal so your child or children dont have to be burdened of what happens to you both when the good lord above says it is your time.
Your wedding is suppose to be a memorable time of your life. Talk to your spouse and see what he/she says. A wedding is as beautiful as you make it. Every one has their own thoughts of what they want. You can make it expensive or not, just do it.
Enjoy yourself with your spouse because you never know what you had to it is gone. do what you and your spouse wants and enjoy it too eternity!!!!!
Good Luck!
2006-12-22 22:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by clowns0001 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it's fine to have a wedding if that is what you two want.
But it would obviously be "styled" a little differently than weddings that are for 20-year-olds, fresh from their parents' houses-- a more stable and mature feeling to the festivities, but a happy occasion nevertheless.
Be sure to get your etiquette right when you have it-- study up with Miss Manners books-- they are great and tell you how to do everything properly.
2006-12-23 01:17:58 · answer #7 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you want a wedding have a wedding. If you want to get married at the justice of the peace, then do so. Why you allowed your boyfriend to string you along for 9 years is beyond me. So have a big wedding to celebrate you finally got that man down the isle.
2006-12-22 21:56:20 · answer #8 · answered by lady01love 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
if you want to have a wedding, then have a wedding. if you want to go to the justice of peace, then go. it is all about you and your fiance that day. the most important thing is that you two are happy about how you did it. forget everyone else.
2006-12-22 22:50:51 · answer #9 · answered by PreciousLady 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My cousin is getting married on her 10th anniversary. She has 3 kids. I'm getting married on our 5th. We have 1 child. Everyone who believes in weddings should have one. It's not only a special day to remember, but a day just for the two of you. Good luck and congradulations
2006-12-23 00:13:39 · answer #10 · answered by one_proud_mama 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋