my boyfriend is having a really hard time in life right now. he loves me but we cant ever hang out because parents dont let me date. i work with him and i sneak off with him during our breaks. i love him. he loveeees me. hes trying to get himself off smoking drugs right now because he wants to figure out what todo with his life but its so hard for him to stop. he says he smokes this because he's very upset since he cant ever see him. we really want to spend the rest of our lives together, i want to help him but i dont know how.. can you help me? so far i've told him that im supporting him and we've talked about how much we both hate not seeing eachother........... help... please, desperately..
2006-12-22 11:37:14 · 13 answers · asked by answer! this 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
and plus * he's actually been crying lately... do you understand how bad i feel? i need to make him feel better... i need really good advice, please..
2006-12-22 11:40:37 · update #1
ok ..well... he wants to get off the drugs ok? hes a good person. he knows hes doing harm to himself, thats why he wants to stop it.
its hard okay, but i love him, hes not bringing me down, i want to support him because if you knew what love was youd agree with me
2006-12-22 11:45:12 · update #2
First of all, he doesn't smoke because he can't see you. I've been there, done that, and that's not how it goes. It's cute, and romantic, but it's also probably not true. If he loves you so much, he'd want to be healthy and functional for you.
You being supportive is wonderful of you, but one of the most supportive things you can do is tell him to be honest with himself. If he really loves you so much, he can wait, and take what time he can with you, and get his life together. Your parents won't be any happier about you dating (in fact, they'll dislike it more) if you want to date someone who they will think is bad for you.
The best thing you could do would be to try to get him help from a school counselor or psychologist...they're not allowed to tell his parents unless he's a danger to himself or others. If you can't bear to do that, then be there for him, but be honest with him about his issues, about wanting him to stop smoking, and remember to keep you own health and self-interests in your mind. Once he's clean, you'll have better luck trying to introduce him to your parents, and even convincing them to let you date.
I've gone through this, and it's hard, but you'll both get through it. I wish you luck.
2006-12-22 11:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by fairygothmommy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maby you should be up front with your parents about this. or if your not ready to tell them yet then when you guys want to hang, hang with friends and tell your parents thats whats going on, because it is the truth.(mostly)
you are right, you need to be supportive of him and be there for him espeicially if he's in a hard place right now. if you both really care about each other then you will get passed this. when he is upset then you should take him out and show him a good time and make him laugh and make the whole world besides you two disappear. even if its sitting in the park listening to music or playing on the swings. i wish you both luck.
2006-12-22 11:42:57 · answer #2 · answered by apolloK♫ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as long as he is doing drugs he is not in his right mind if you really care for him demand that he quit now..i lived the horror of drug addiction for almost 20 years and it took almost loosing my life and loved ones to get me clean...as long as someone supports him during his drugging he will continue..he will say that he does it because he is depressed but he is depressed because of the drug use he will not admit it he probably does not know it. if you really love him pull an intervention and get him help NOW before he slips deeper into addiction, i wish someone would have gI'ven me tough love years ago and saved me from a wasted youth.....ive been clean for a few years now and life still is very hard because of what i did...
2006-12-22 11:45:34 · answer #3 · answered by Unfrozen Caveman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
about ur parents he should go and talk to ur parents that he loves u and dream to marry u
then ur parents will be sure that he doesnt play with ur heart
they fear that any guy may play with ur heart
about the drugs if he really wants to take off drugs then he should go to the hospital to help him much more
u should know him better and more and dont be harry in ur decisions
2006-12-22 11:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by micho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
come on now....
how old are you if your parents won't let you date yet?
even though you might not agree with what they say
you should not sneak off with him. that's disrespectful to them and to yourself. He shouldn't be smoking pot either....he is doing harm to himself and to you if you are around when he does it.
sounds like you both have alot of growing up to do. take some time and really think about your situation. sounds like there is too much going against you two right now.
2006-12-22 11:42:30 · answer #5 · answered by Edisto 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should support him all the time .
You do job so I guess you are old enough .
I think if you both love each other so much you both should marry . good luck
2006-12-22 11:47:10 · answer #6 · answered by Tithi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are so young and you must realize he can bring you down and you should focus on yourself . DON'T think about marriage until you and he have a way of supporting yourselves .
2006-12-22 11:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can help him by encouraging him to get himself into a rehabilitation program. either an intensive outpatient program or a inpatient program. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-22 11:43:18 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are both of you? Is he seeking professional help? Can he move out of his parent's house into his own place?
2006-12-22 11:39:40 · answer #9 · answered by Joe Prosnick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run, don't walk, away from that man as fast as you can. There is nothing for you there but misery. Unless the drug he is smoking is marijuana, he has no soul.
2006-12-22 11:40:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋