I really think my gf has mental issues. Seriously. Stemming from some sort of childhood trauma (unfortunately, which is why I have been so patient so far) but she has me at wits end now. She holds me at arms length, won't let me go but won't let me near, either. Enter my conundrum. If I am right, this woman is a serious threat to herself if I do tell her I am leaving for good (based on what I have been reading and the assumptions I have been making, which have had to be made b/c I can't get her to tell me anything!) So, I am contemplating calling her best friend and asking her simply if she knows if my gf knows what is going on w/ her, and if not telling her about what I am thinking and also telling her to keep an eye on her for me b/c I can't do it anymore. Is there really any other option?
2006-12-22 11:12:19 · 9 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Health ➔ Mental Health
dude you are caught in a master manipulation, she does have serious issues and one of them is about how she emotionally blackmails people into NOT leaving her by threatening to hurt herself or make like she will, you have to make a decision she is holding you by emotional blackmail and you may end up with your OWN serious mental health and emotional issues of co dependency.Whie you care for this girl you also have to think of yourself and perhaps a relationship is NOT the best thing fore her at this time anyway she needs to get HERSELF together first maybe by walking away you will begin the process for her to seek out help. Tell her best friend that you are breaking it off so someone will keep an eye open for her and then GO and do not look back. sometimes what seems cruel really IS the kindest and best thing of all to do. good luck
2006-12-22 11:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are other options. Encourage your girl friend to talk to a therapist and be direct with her, tell her that you realize she has a very hard time to be close to you and she can't seem to talk to you about it. She shouldn't be expected to tell you what is bugging her. If she doesn't want to get help or if she does and still you really are over her, let her go, but as gently as possible. You are not responsible for her and you sound like you care about her but you are not really in love with her anymore. In the end, you will be doing BOTH of you a disservice if you stay with her out of pity.
2006-12-22 11:23:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you could let her family know of your fears that she might hurt herself that would be best. Asking her friend to help support her is also a great idea. Get a list of counselors in the area that she could go to. Give her the list and if you're going to break up with her do it. It's not fair to her to be in a relationship with her just because you're worried she might hurt herself. The fact is that suicidal people have lots of supportive people in their lives, most of the time, and that still doesn't make them well. She has to want to get better - being with you or not is not her problem it seems. If she threatens to hurt herself if you break up with her, do you really think you could be happy staying with her anyway? Do what you need to do to protect your own mental health, do what you can to help her to have support but if the relationship isn't working you need to move on.
2006-12-22 11:19:46 · answer #3 · answered by TM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you actually take care of her. i keep in mind that you're in a difficult spot. possibly you need to attempt slowly distancing your self from her, and sit down her down, and seek for suggestion from at the same time with her. tell her you do not imagine issues will exercising recurring nicely by way of distance between you 2. tell her you nonetheless favor to be her chum, and that you'll continually be there for her, yet not as a bf. also tell her she will be able to satisfy a large number of human beings in college, and fall for some different person, someone more beneficial for her. make confident she is favourite with that you're doing this for the superb. desire this would help! good success :D
2016-12-01 02:31:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a problem for a professional. Calmy suggest to your girlfriend that she contact a therapist. If she doesn't want to tell you anything, I feel it is not right to ask her friend to fill you in. And do not let her manipulate you into thinking you can't leave.
2006-12-22 11:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact your local crisis center for your own sanity if not for hers. They will have seen this behaviour and be able to advise you
2006-12-22 11:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by Sid B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don' leave her 'cos you'll blame yourself if she hurts someone else.
go to your doctor and ask him to refer you to a department that deals with this in your area.
it's the loved ones around people with mental problems that get them help without those people life is desperate and horrible. it would be callous to leave her. do your best to help her or to get help to her and then decide what to do with yourself
all the best
2006-12-22 11:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by Beazle 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would give her sort of an alta madum... go with her to get help, or your out!
2006-12-22 11:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by FOS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her first. then consider the options.
2006-12-22 12:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋