I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO AT LEAST TALK TO ME KIDS FOR ABOUT A YEAR I KNOW WHERE THEY LIVE AND EVERYTHING, I WRITE LETTERS, I SEND CALLING CARDS BUT I CAN'T GET THEM TO CALL ME I'VE BEEN HERE ABOUT 3 YEARS AND HAVE GOTTEN MY LIFE GOING AND GOOD. I DONT MAKE A LOT OF MONEY AND PAY HALF MY CHECK FOR CHILD SUPPORT. I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS FROM MY KIDS THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEND A CARD OR SOMETHING , I HAVE NEVER RECEIVED A CARD OR GIFT FOR ANY HOLIDAYS OR B-DAYS. THEY ARE 15 AND 17 WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG. THE ONLY THING I WANT FOR CRISTMAS IS TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO THEM AND TELL THEM HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM IF I COULD GO THERE I WOULD BUT I CANT AFFORD IT. IM JUST BARELY ABLE TO PAY THE BILLS AND GAS TO GET TO WORK. IS THERE ANYONE THAT CAN HELP OR SUGGEST ANYTHING IM UP FOR ANYTHING I'VE TRIED FAMILY THERE BUT THEY CANT GET THEM TO CALL AT LEAST, COURTS CANT DO ANYTHING IM UP IN THE AIR WITHOUT GOING THEIR I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
2006-12-22 11:00:55 · 7 answers · asked by ridgerunner429 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
There is something in your history with your children that obviously needs to be discussed. Perhaps they are angry because they feel you aren't facing your own mistakes as a parent. Think of the past, and try to recognize what may have upset your children or cause them to not want to speak to you.
I honestly believe it has nothing to do the fact that they are teenagers. Perhaps not receiving cards or gifts at holidays may play a factor in that, but not in the fact that they won't speak to you. There is always the chance that their mother is not giving them the letters, but it is doubtful as you know family in OR has passed along the news you'd love to reach them.
Search deep inside your heart and you may find something that gives you more of a reason that the kids don't call. I imagine they haven't been able to forgive you for whatever occured. It is so important that your life is going well now, but you cannot force them to speak to you. If you come to the conclusion you've done some things wrong in the past, I would advise you to write each of them a long letter of apology for whatever it was. Perhaps that is what they are waiting for. It may mean the whole world to them that you say "I'm sorry", without laying on a guilt trip. Tell them exactly what you are apologizing for. As I know nothing of your history I cannot imagine what has put the distance between you and your children, but a long apology letter with a small holiday gift for each of them may be exactly what it takes for them to forgive.
All the best.
2006-12-22 11:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by Me, Thrice-Baked 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Am Sorry To Hear ... Not Having Your Family You Love Around You Could Be Like Having A Knife Through The Heart! If You Constantly Are Trying To Reach Them And They Still Dont Respond, Chances Are They Dont To Have Anything To Do With You.... Sorry... I Know Thats Probably Not The Respose You Wanted To Hear!
2006-12-22 19:48:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your time and write them each a personal long letter, you can make it chatty, like you would chat on the phone, let them know what you are doing, how much you miss them... ask them about their friends, school activities, do they have e-mail addresses. Even if you don't have a computer, you can get a free e-mail address and access it through your local library. Don't wait for them to contact you back, just keep them informed of what is going on in your life and you need to do this frequently, They will eventually want to contact you.
2006-12-22 19:07:29 · answer #3 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this hurts, but you are thousands of miles from them trying to get your life together. You say they have been there for 3 years and that they are 15 and 17. You state they don't send you card or anything. I am just guessing but I imagine that they don't feel like you have been their for them through their hard teen years. THe best thing you can do for them is keep your support current and continue to send nice notes. Please don't hint that they aren't doing anything for you. You are the parent. THey do not owe you anything. If you keep it sweet, eventually one of them is going to want to talk to you.
2006-12-22 19:13:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your history, so maybe they have a good reason. But I think that it is likely just because of their age. Teenagers are all about themselves and rebelling from family. It literally may be 10 years before they start to realize what they were missing. Sorry. I think you should just let them know that you are there and love them, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised in the future. There is no way to force it.
2006-12-22 19:04:46 · answer #5 · answered by Julian A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try calling them at school. Are you even sure that they are receiving your letters? In your next letter include a postage paid envelope (an envelope addressed to you with a stamp on it) and tell them to just return this to you just to be certain that they are getting what you are sending. Although if someone is keeping it from them they might just send it so you think they are getting them, I don't know its a hard situation good luck
2006-12-22 19:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by krystal c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
double check the adress and the number, it could be their age, teenagers and all. but i dont know your history, they may not want you!
2006-12-22 19:26:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋