My kids are behaving so bad that i took their christmas away, is this to strict?

Question

My two boys ages 5 and 6 have been acting up for the last 2 weeks and ive told them that if they keep it up santa will not come this year. Today they decided to poke a baseball size hole in the wall with a pair of scissors. SHould I take christmas away or is that too harsh?

Answer 1

We hear you... We've got 2boys... 4 (almost 5) and 8.... and lately the behavior has been awful. Today, Christmas Eve especially. We gave them 2 days to clean their rooms... and let them know that Santa doesn't leave presents for boys with messy rooms. Well, instead of cleaning, they decide to fool around, and play with what they are supposed to clean. They were given a choice and a warning: You can clean, and have MD's for dinner, stay up late tonight.... or if you don't clean your rooms you will have hot dogs, go to bed early, and Santa probably won't come because you haven't been good! Guess who isn't going to come tonight? We'll still give them each a present from mom & dad, but not the BIG Santa presents that they REALLY WANTED this year! Hopefully they will get the message. We do not want our children growing up with a sense of self-entitlement that so many kids have these days, "do whatever you want and there are no consequences, and get whatever you want! " We went to church and celebrated Jesus' birthday that's the TRUE meaning of Christmas... (not Santa's presents.).
Stick to your word! Stay strong! We're behind you! (And keep your eyes on those boys too.... especially when it's too quiet ;)

Answer 2

It's too harsh. If you tell them "no Christmas, no Santa" they will remember it for the rest of their lives and at least for awhile believe Santa is punishing them when he should be a symbol of generosity and wonder. Don't keep a day that should be all about love and spirit and family (and innocence) from your children. Keep Christmas special for you and them. Santa should never be used as a 'threat'. They sound as if they're acting age-appropriate. Don't allow them to play with the scissors for awhile, but I really don't believe punishment will do much good. Catch them when their behavior is acceptable and sweet and praise them as much as possible. If they are out of control teach them how not to be by not being out-of-control as well. Stay calm, tell them you are taking away the offending object and if they cannot calm down try to help teach them how to. I promise you, from experience, the more you praise their positive behavior the more you will see the negative disappear. Educating your children is far better than screaming, hitting or threatening. As for the hole they made, tell them they have to do more chores around the house to make up for the cost. If they don't want to, tell them they are not allowed to play with toys and games until they complete their task. They will most likely defy you at first, so keep this discipline true! If they don't help, no TV, computer, etc. until the chore is done. When they have done it, praise them, tell them you are proud, and you will give them more incentive to act positively and responsibly. After a while of this, they will begin listening (what kid wants to sit around doing nothing)? Make the chores a bit more fun too. Understand that they are both little boys, and probably jealous of one another. Make sure to spend a little time every day with each child separately so they can talk to you and know that they are equally loved. A year from now, and for every year thereafter, they will not remember what they've done wrong, only that they missed the happiest time of their lives.
Good luck, and happy holidays!

To: David C. It sounds as if you broke the vase accidentally and your parents were wrong to punish you. I'm sorry, but you were being a normal kid, over-excited for Christmas, and you made a mistake. Try to think back to that day more, the day they didn't give you presents. I doubt you just cried. You must have been hysterical. It was an awfully harsh thing to do. I hope you realize how much it will hurt your children to do the same. All the best.

Answer 3

If santa only gave gifts to good parents you wouldnt get squat!!! What were they doing with scissors in the first place?? And im sure it took them some time to put a hole that size in the wall, plus the time it took them to get the scissors and figure out what kind of destruction they would do with them. Where were YOU at this time??? If you told them that you would take christmas away yu better do it now. The reason they are acting so bad in the first place is most likely because you dont stick to the punishments you threaten and they know you are full of it. Its horrible..

Answer 4

My question would be this... how would two children, ages 5 and 6 be unsupervised WITH SCISSORS long enough to put a baseball sized hole in your wall?!? OK, they were wrong but maybe that was the only way they could get an adult to pay attention to them. As the parent, you dropped the ball here. I have 5 children (12,11,7,5 and 18mos) and I sometimes pull my hair out keeping track of them but I always know where they are and WHAT they are doing. Have them help you fix the wall, and Christmas morning, enjoy watching your children's excitement. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

Yes This is too harsh. I have five & ten year old boys that are hellions and i would NEVER take the spirit of Christmas away from them. They just will not understand why You would punish them for celebrating Jesus' birthday. WRONG MESSAGE. Wait until after x-mas and then u can punish them by taking toys away and giving them back when the behavior gets better. Sounds like You may benefit from watching the super nanny on ABC TV. She has alot of great advice I use. Like using a naughty spot (time-outs) 1 min. per year old they are is the rule. Also set ground rules with definate actions to be taken if they are broken. Consistancy is the KEY! Believe Me, It's very hard at first but after a short time they will get tired of the punishments and give in to Your rules. Find fun things to do together and praise them often for the good things they do. But please don't take the magic of Christmas from them. The wall can be fixed ( where was the supervision at the time? this can be part of the problem. It was w/Me, I got depressed and zoned out and just kept sending them to their room where the destruction happened) but Christmas comes only once a year. They are acting-out for attention for a reason. try to get to the bottom of the attention problem also. Hope I helped. I will pray for You! God Bless You and Your family this Christmas! All hope IS NOT LOST! You can do it ! Just Be strong and set Yourself up a good support system to help. Best Wishes ! Jenny from Michigan

Answer 6

Christmas is not about presents and santa. that's all fun, but really, it's about Jesus Christ. Don't ever take it away as a punishment. What would you do if Christmas weren't right around the corner? Punish your boys however you would normally do it. If that isn't working, watch Nanny 911 for some ideas. I know that sounds dumb, but they really do know how to punish properly and effectively.

But - since you have already threatened taking Christmas -- you better follow through in some way. Threats of punishment with no follow-through always makes things worse. Rather than take all their presents, I would suggest choosing a single gift for them to lose. When they are misbehaving you can of course warn them first, and then if they don't stop tell them you will choose one gift on Christmas to take to Goodwill. (Or you can just secretly save it for a bday). Then stick to it. They probably know that taking away all their gifts won't happen - but they might believe that they could loose a couple. And if they don't believe that - they will learn, and hopefully remember.

Answer 7

If you told them Santa wouldn't come, then he can't come. Period. If you make a threat, you have to be prepared to carry it out.

You can still give them presents from you, and still do all of your other Christmas traditions, so you wouldn't be taking Christmas away, just the Santa presents. Be sure Santa leaves a note telling them they were naughty.

Has the weather been really crummy where you live, keeping your little guys inside too much? If you're feeling guilty about the whole "no Santa" thing (Don't!) go swimming (indoors, of course!!) or rollerskating or ice-skating or bundle up and go hiking...it might turn out to be their best Christmas ever!

Answer 8

delay christmas but dont take away. 5 and 6 is waaaay to young to know better . they dont understand cause and effect yet. try to get all the power tools away from them. boys in general are destructive. they got bored. you will niot be able to stop them, but you can channel their energy better. they need a swing set. or some kind of outdoor activity. oh, btw increase your health and property insurence. your boys are destined to set something on fire and get lots of stitches. its not a bad thing. your boys are just the type that will get banged up a lot. remember when you child proofed the house when they were toddlers? do it again. lock up all tools, paint, matches, lighters, knives, shoepolish, vaseline, anything that has flamable on the label. go take a CPR class. get some real first aid stuff. lots of gauze. make them wear helmets biking and skating. your boys aren't bad. but prepare for a "fun" future. you will look back and smile someday. if they have bunk beds, get rid of them. my nephew was the same way. his childhood involved over 100 stiches 3-5 at a time. and two broken arms. he survived and is a wonderful 20 yearold now.

Answer 9

why are your 5 and 6 year old playing with a pair of scissors for long enough to make a huge hole in the wall. Where's the supervision?

Answer 10

If you said santa would not come then you better stick to your guns or they will never take your warnings seriously. You could give them a present or two from mom and dad but tell them that their behaviour disappointed santa and you agreed with him when he said they didn't deserve gifts this year. Tell them that only good behavior is rewarded and bad behaviour is not. I don't think it's too strict at all if you have a five and six year old cutting holes in the wall. They know better than that. They are testing their limits and you need to set the boundries so they understand where they stand.
Trust you initial instincts, you know what's best to get through to your children. None of us know them better than you do.
Good luck hun and Happy Holidays!

**P.S. Wow I just read some of the responses after my post. Clearly some people that answered don't have children, or they have horrible monster kids because they are basically telling you to go back on your word. This will give your kids the impression that Mommy has no intentions of following through on the punishment she threatens. WHatever form of dicipline you told them to expect for misbehaving better be carried out in the fullest or else they will never head your warnings again.