I am planning to get married in April 2007. I had no idea that i could ask my brothers to be in the wedding. I thought that i was the one in charge of getting my bridesmaid together and my fiancee was the one who needed to get his men together...since i dont have sisters i figured it was up to him to decide his close friends to be up there with him. My dad found out none of my brothers will be in the wedding and he got very hurt...now the problem is that he already has 5 guys, and i have my 5 girls........our wedding is in a few months, is it still okay, to just go ahead and add all 3 of my brothers? HELP!
2006-12-22 10:27:12 · 18 answers · asked by amanda g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
have your brothers be ushers. Yes it should be his friends on his side, you have your friends on your side.
2006-12-22 10:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your father is probably upset because back in the ice age when he and I were coming up, it was often traditional to invite both the bride's and groom's siblings to be in the wedding party if there were to be other attendants besides just a best man and maid of honor, like in your wedding. This was true even if the newlyweds didn't know each other's family at all, due perhaps because the newlyweds got together at college or somewhere else away from home. The plan was that even if the families didn't know each other yet, the wedding would be a good time for everyone to get acquainted.
I think the ideas given to use your brothers as ushers and/or to play some role in the reception are a good compromise. You might also want to spend a little time in your local bookstore looking over some of the wedding etiquette guides - you don't have to buy any, but you might find some other things of interest. Good luck to you!
2006-12-25 17:11:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, there is no rule saying family has to be involved.
Second - yes, he picks his guys, you pick your girls and he does not have to include your brothers if he does not want to.
You may be able to smooth things over by giving them other roles in the wedding. My sister was married recently and none of the 4 brothers were in the wedding party. The youngest one was a candlelighter, two of them acted as Ushers and the fourth was the MC for the reception. If any of them are musically inclined, they could sing/play during the ceremony, or they could do a reading (scripture, a poem, a prayer etc)
2006-12-23 12:32:00 · answer #3 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have as many people in a wedding party as you want. Maybe they can be ushers or something instead of best man, ring bearer, etc. I had 2 ring bearers in my wedding cause I had 2 nephews the same age and didnt want to not include anyone. Maybe you could give them some other responsibility such as driving the wedding party around town, etc. Why did you never mention your brothers to your fiance and ask if they could take some part? OPEN the lines of communication NOW before you get married.
2006-12-22 10:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people have already given the idea of asking them to be ushers which is a good idea. But there are other possibilities. Are any of them musically talented so that they can be involved in the music of the ceremony? Would any of them be willing to have a part in the ceremony such as reading scripture, praying, reading a poem, etc.? Would you be willing to allow them to be responsible for the background music at the reception or if there will be dancing to emcee and play the dance music? Think about your brothers' interests and talents and go from there. It is your wedding, so be as creative as you and your fiance would like to be.
2006-12-22 11:42:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your brothers are part of your family. There has got to be something they can do to be in the wedding whether they are close to your fiancee or not.
Someone suggested they be ushers. Sounds like a good idea.
2006-12-22 10:39:31 · answer #6 · answered by Michael Goodfellow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always thought the bride chose her brides maids and the groom chose his groomsmen. Perhaps your brothers could be ushers? Or do something to help with the reception? I really don't understand why your father would be upset that your brothers weren't ask to participate. It's yours and your fiancees wedding. Talk it over with your fiancee first and see how he feels about your brothers participating.
2006-12-22 10:34:47 · answer #7 · answered by Vida 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to your husband to be maybe he will understand, or you guys could figure out a way to include them, maybe you could include one or two of them instead of all three, or maybe you could find three more girls and put them in ive seen many people with 8 bridesmaids and groomsmen, lol i have 6 and i am debating on one more, it makes the pictures nicer, lol i am getting married in april too!
2006-12-23 05:44:01 · answer #8 · answered by SB33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brothers need to stand on your side then, because they are not the best men. You have no right to force this on your soon to be husband. Its his wedding too. Your dad sounds like a real cry baby, and needs to butt out, because what hes suggesting is not traditional.
2006-12-22 10:30:01 · answer #9 · answered by Foxy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should include your brothers i mean they r family talk to your fiancee and he ll understand. i mean do not turn your back on family yes go ahead and add your brothers or talk to your finacee about him taking 3 guys out and putting in your brothers no matter what i think its very important to have your brothers be part of your wedding
2006-12-22 15:55:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you make your brothers ushers? Then you'll have an even number of bridesmaids/groomsmen but your brothers will still be members of the wedding party.
2006-12-22 10:29:49 · answer #11 · answered by Lauren F 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋