My mother and father in-law have treated me with disprespect for the last 7 years. My husband did not have a real close relationship with his parents before we got married other than a few phone calls on the holidays or seeing them on the holidays. I come from a real close family who talks about every other day. After we got married I always initiated get togethers, etc.... his parents rarely called us after we got married on a regular basis or came to visit us, we went to their house for the holidays and that was pretty much it. Everything was always on their terms, holidays usually. My husband wrote them a nice letter explaining how we wanted to be close etc and his mom assumed I wrote the letter and wrote a nasty letter back to me about how I pissed her off and she thought the letter was stupid and that she was cancelling christmas with us. This was last year. I wrote her a letter in response to her nasty letter about 7 months ago and havent heard from them since. what now?
2006-12-22 09:53:50 · 10 answers · asked by karlee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Personally, I would give up. Let them live their lives & move on. Your husband might not feel that way yet - but, it doesn't sound like his parents are very nice people and you may be better off not having them in your lives.
I assume your husband is well accepted by your family. Celebrate holidays with them or celebrate together, just the two of you. Make the holidays your own and let go of your negative feelings about your in-laws. You can't fix them, you can't change them, you can only accept the fact that they are like they are and move on.
If you don't have kids yet, make a special plan for you & your husband on christmas. Go places you've always wanted to go and make each christmas a special trip. Then, if/when you do have kids - share the holiday with them.
Best Wishes!
2006-12-22 10:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by bionicbookworm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force people to be close with you, and you can't force someone to respect you. You have to earn the respect. If your husbands parents have a history of not being tight with family members, there's no reason things are going to be any different now. Personally, after receiving a nasty letter, I would have spoken to the mother in person, rather than writing a letter back. If they don't want to be civil with you or your husband, the best thing you can do is give them their space and live your life without them in it. Enjoy your own family and keep the bonds tight with them. How do you move on? By acknowledging the fact that you are better off without them in your life, and they lose- because they don't have >you< in their life.
2006-12-22 10:01:34 · answer #2 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you seemed like you tired..Maybe you're hubby could step in and give his Mother a call and explain you meant nothing by the letter, and you're not trying to make any issues at all, but be closer with them...Maybe she took it the wrong way? Maybe also think of giving her a call, and wishing her merry Christmas and ask her, her plans for X-mas. And say you'd really love to join them..
Hope this helps! :)
2006-12-22 10:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by ~ Ruchira~ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some families just are not close with each other. Try discussing it with your husband,he may be able to shed some light on their behavior. All you can do is make an invitation for the holidays.If they choose not to come,you concentrate on having the best time you can with those who you ARE with. Good Luck!
2006-12-22 10:00:08 · answer #4 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-18 21:29:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what is right for you two, you are family now. If they want to participate fine, if you want to invite them fine, just do what is right for you. Don't be mean about it or nasty or anything and it doesn't sound like you at all have been, include them if you want to just dont expect too much.
2006-12-22 11:27:44 · answer #6 · answered by spitfin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are trying to force his family to abide by your rules of closeness. For the past 7 years, you have known that they have no interest in being close. Leave them alone. It works for them and you are not in charge of them. You will feel better when you stop asking them to be who they are not.
2006-12-22 12:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do one of two things: Let it go ... if she cares at all she will call you ... OR ...this is a time of forgiveness, maybe you can call her and see where it goes. Peace on Earth and goodwill towards men ... that's what its about. Merry Christmas.
2006-12-22 09:58:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let the sleeping dogs lie in the bed they made, shes a bitter person let her live in her own hell
2006-12-22 10:04:49 · answer #9 · answered by Sparky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are family, you have to learn to live with them. they are not going anywhere and neither are you.
2006-12-22 09:56:34 · answer #10 · answered by bridget s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋