i felt really hurt recently by a bloke who finished with me. anyway, i had some problems getting over it and a friend said just forget him, and someone said something to me that hit me, she siad he must be really important to you. then i thought i am making him important and he is not really, so i stopped moaning on, but i remember somone said about my mother, that men were very important to her, she got hurt alot and was always giving men her attention, more than me, i don,t want to be like her, so why do i do it. i do tend to make a big fuss about someone who is not very important. my mum always spoilt my brothers more they could do no wrong, she used to sleep around. someone once said i was dependant upon men what did they mean. for attention to make me feel good. i don,t know i just know i don,t want to be like her because she got hurt alot and made a fool of herself and people have said to me i don,t value myself and she never did either. i dont, want to be like this .
2006-12-22 09:40:24 · 9 answers · asked by denise g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i cant be bothered reading all that. i'd rather get the points
2006-12-22 09:45:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It so hard when you have been brought up to rely on the attention of others, or romantic relationships, to feel ok about yourself. Don't panic, you are so not alone in this. I would suggest reading up on codependency - your challenge is to truly appreciate yourself so that a relationship ADDS to your life and doesn't DEFINE your life. This will give you greater resilency if a relationship doesn't work, and give you the strength to pick better partners. Melody Beatty has written some great books on the subject. It does get better, once you recognize what is going on.
BIG HUG
2006-12-22 17:47:16 · answer #2 · answered by yellowbugchickoh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, don`t put yourself down so much. you are probably one of the most kindest and generous people that there could ever be and the fact that people are slagging you off is just a sign of immaturity on there part. What they are saying is hurtful, unkind and definitely uncalled for and the sooner they grow up the better their life will be. Their existence must be really boring if all they have to talk about is the things you get up to.
Believe me, they are children compared to you, as no deserves being called names of any description, you are better than them.
2006-12-22 20:01:30 · answer #3 · answered by dnlrawson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in things like this. Things getting passed down from your parents like that. You have to be the break in the chain. You can't let this get passed down to other generations. I've known women who are truly dependant on men, and end up in abusive relationships because no matter how much they get hurt, they feel like they need a man to go on. I know it's hard to up and change like that but for your own good you have to get out on your own. Be on your own for a LONG time. Buy your own stuff and be proud of everything you have. You don't need a man to keep you. Don't let that thought stay in your head. A relationship is supposed to be about love and compassion not neediness. So be dependant of yourself and wait until true love comes by. And make sure that it's not cuz u need a man. Make sure it's cuz you love this man.
2006-12-22 17:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by yleemoreno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you comparing yourself to your mother.
Women rely on men, do get hurt, do make men their 'all'. this is just what women do. We learn from our mistakes.
If your mother was sleeping around this is totally her business and you are no one to judge her or look down on her. You obviously don't know what was going on in her life. You probably feel that she favoured your brother's because you were too distant with her.
Just get on with your life. If you miss the bloke who finished with you, you miss him... accept it. You have a right to miss someone, it doesn't make you an inadequate person!!! BUT, you must move on from this bloke, find someone new... and if you find someone new does that mean you are 'sleeping around?'
2006-12-22 17:50:40 · answer #5 · answered by Just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are already ahead of the game by knowing your shortcomings. Realizing you have a problem is the first step to solving it. It will take a lot of work on your part to overcome the things you have learned from your upbringing,but that's not to say it can't be done.
2006-12-22 17:46:55 · answer #6 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time go fishing. That will save the whales
2006-12-22 17:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by DON J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me like you have a lot of unresolved issues...lighten up...its xmas???
2006-12-22 17:48:12 · answer #8 · answered by Chariddie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didnt read it either, sorry or congratulations
whatever you want to hear
2006-12-22 17:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by styce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋