Suggestions please, on How to grow old disgracefully?

Answer 1

be what and who you want to be, not what people expect you to be.

Answer 2

Easy, just disgrace yourself on a regular basis. Some of it comes naturally once you hit 80 but you have to practice to disgrace yourself and then watch the shock on the faces of those around you. Just think about all the non PC stuff you did as a young dude or dudette and retain those values into your dotage. For instance, we all streaked in my day, you know put a bag over your head and get naked and then run thru a room of people, a stadium of people or a kindergarten classroom full of children. The latter would give the teacher a chance to instruct the kids about something other than "What color is this when I slit my wrists?" But, do not join todays kids and try and be one of them. That looks pathetic. But, boycotting lettuce, standing vigil until the Vietnam War is terminated, etc. is the thing.

Answer 3

I am frequently told I look about 45 instead of 64. I refuse to dress like an old woman. No long dresses--to the knee. Shoes 2 inches or higher when going to church, dress flats for shopping. A fashionable hair cut and manicured nails and pedicure. Go light on the facial makeup, too much makes you look old. Cleans your face with a gentle cleanser. I do yoga for flexibility and strength and walk a mile four times a week. I read about something new everyday (how to or news) on the Internet. I eat mostly vegetables and fruits and meat once a week. Drink as much water as I can (I don't like) it, drink green decaf tea with lemon. Do a few hours of volunteer work if you are not working full time. Avoid stress even if that means divorce.

Answer 4

listening to your own drumbeat, following your own path, inviting others to join you if they dare. Finding your own fun but enjoy sharing it. Any idiot can get drunk at any age, and in high old age not very advisable. Wearing outrageous clothes for the sake of it, nah, that wont do it either, but finding your own style would. Being free from expectations yet still inside the law. It's a fine balance but when it's sussed the door's wide open and it's yours,best of all people will tut tut but envy you too. The really 'disgraceful' and eccentric oldies follow these lines and have an army of admirers especially from the younger generation. The others who only try to be teenagers again just look like old fools and may be accused of dementia! Just recognise the difference and you'll be great! (when you get there!) :-)

Answer 5

Now why would you want to grow old disgracefully? That would only show disrespect for yourself. You have to ask yourself why you are thinking this way. Are you mad at yourself or feeling worthless? You have to look at yourself in the mirror and pick out all your good points and add them on to your "inside " and realize that you are going to be proud of yourself all the way into old age. Growing old doesn't have to be so bad especially if you put some effort into it. Do you have any role models? What about Jackie O,
she was the First lady and a Real Lady at that. What about Susan Lucci who is near 60 , poised and beautiful! All you need are some good role models and follow through! Good Luck.

Answer 6

Move to the Caribbean or South Pacific, make people think you are in hiding from something, speak with a different accent every day, dress like a pirate, drink, hang out naked, have affairs with the naughty tourist boys, write trashy romance novels based on those affairs, and stay "just this side" of illegal with the local authorities.

Well, that's MY retirement plan anyway.

Answer 7

Avoid daytime TV, fleece-lined booties and smelling of urine, and embrace non-prescription drugs, loud music (preferably not marching band or classical but just about anything else is ok) and casual, unprotected sex with a variety of miscreants. Swear a lot, drink a lot, and don't spend too much time in queues in the Post Office complaining about how much better everything used to be in the Good Old Days. And wear a hooded top.

Answer 8

Cuddly toys are wholly inappropriate for ladies of a certain age. Especially small, blue bears!
who like chocolate

Answer 9

Watch Kathrine Tate for some ideas.

Answer 10

Act like Joan Rivers.

Answer 11

Have relations with 18 year olds and drink at least 1 pint of liquor per day. Also, buying a small trailer would help as well.