Is it Appropriate for a Male to Shake a Female Co-Workers Hand?

Question

I was leaving a recent Christmas work party and was shaking the hands of co-workers as I left. The majority of my co-workers are male. When I shook the hand of one of my female co-workers, she reluctantly shook it (barely clasping my hand) and it was obvious that she was uncomfortable by her body language and facial expressions. I confided in another female co-worker about what had happened and she said that it wasn't appropriate for me to have shaken her hand. Is this practice true in the workplace? Should I approach her and ask her if she is uncomfortable with shaking hands with people. I felt extremely uncomfortable afterwards and almost felt ashamed that I had violated her in some way. Any advice is welcome. I don't want this to happen again.

Answer 1

It is absolutely appropriate to shake a female co-worker's hand. As a female in the workplace, if you had shaken everyone's hand but mine (whether all the rest of the workers were male or not) I would be offended that you DIDN'T offer to shake mine!!

Some people have phobias about shaking hands, but that's her problem, not yours - you didn't do anything wrong. If she didn't want to shake hands, she could have just smiled and said, "I'm sorry, I don't shake hands." Or if that was too upfront, she could have said, "I think I might be coming down with a cold and I don't want to pass along my germs," or "I hurt my hand recently and am really not comfortable shaking hands yet," or any number of excuses.

A sure sign of true good manners/proper etiquette is the ability to put others at ease while avoiding doing things to embarrass or hurt other people - and she certainly failed this test as far as her interaction with you goes. I would just not worry about it - as I said, it's her problem, not yours - though you are sweet to worry so.

Answer 2

It is quite proper for a male to shake a female co-workers hand. Being at an office party, having shaken the hands of all your male co-workers and then not acknowledging the female ones would have been rude. Her reaction to your handshake could have stemmed from her perhaps expecting a hug, if the two of you were close friends, its a natural response. But hugging would not have been approiate at a company function for sure!

In to present world, females are always seen shaking hands with others, there is nothing inapproiate about it. It signals equality in the workplace.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with shaking any co-worker's hand. In fact, to not offer to shake her hand would have been rude, as it would imply that she was not part of the team. Perhaps she is a bit scared of germs, or comes from an ethnic or religious background that disapproves of shaking hands with the opposite sex. I would definitely try to smooth things out, but wait a few days first so things can blow over. Be diplomatic about it. And in the future, you can extend your hand to others as an offering but don't clasp the other's if they don't reciprocate. That way, you are doing your part but won't be putting others on the spot.

Answer 4

It's appropriate. I would just follow the advice above. Ask whether it's okay for you to shake it. If she looks uncomfortable, stop shaking it. Don't hold her hand, nor should you shake too hard or too long.

Hopefully, a female co-worker won't get you to shake her hand just so she can file a sexual harassment suit against you.

Answer 5

As a woman in the workforce, I definitely appreciate a handshake.

Some people just don't like their hands being shaken. I would refrain from shaking hers from this point forward. As far as the other female co-worker saying that your gesture was innappropriate, keep this mind: she might just know something about this anti-handshaker that you do not. Or, she may just not like to be touched. Whatever her reason might be, keep shaking hands! It's definitely a professional guesture, and as long as you don't squeeze too hard, keep on shaking the ladies hands!:)

Answer 6

In my opinion, yes. I do it fairly often where I work in the Chicago Loop (Illinois.)

A handshake is a short ritual in which two people grasp their right or left hands, often accompanied by a brief shake of the grasped hands. It is commonly done upon meeting, departing, offering congratulations, or completing an agreement. Its purpose is to demonstrate good will, and possibly originated as a gesture showing that the hand holds no weapon. Among friends and family members, men are more likely to shake hands than women, however in business situations it is considered the standard greeting for both sexes.

Handshakes are a major route for the transmission of common cold viruses.

Answer 7

I don't think that you did anything wrong by shaking her hand. It is weird how many woman think now adays. We want to be treated as equals but still we make a big deal about a hand shake. I rather have a hand shake than have one of those people that kisses everyone in the cheek everytime they see somebody. i really don't think that you were rude at all. A hand shake is a nice gesture of respect and that is what you showed her respect. She needs to loosen up her girdle for what I think.

Answer 8

Proper etiquette says that a male only shakes a woman's hand if she offers it first. So, to offer your hand to a woman to shake might not be considered good manners. Of course, nowadays most people don't follow this. I always shake a hand that is offered. I think the woman was rude for acting all put out about having to shake your hand. So, I say just let it go. Don't even approach her about it. Next time, when it comes to her, you'll know what to do. Just smile and give a little nod.

Answer 9

Of course! However some people don't want to shake hands in more in this world of fear of germs. I actually know a woman who cleans her hands with a wipe after shaking hands just like Monk.

Extend your hand and if the person appears reluctant to shake it politely and inconspicuously pull it back.

Answer 10

No I'm a female and I shake hands with males all the time it's a sign of respect. If she is uncomfortable then there is probably another issue behind it.