Should I be offended if my boyfriend asked for a threesome for Christmas?

Question

I was a little hurt when he told me. he did say their are 2 things he knows about me; 1 i will try anything once and 2 I will do anything to make him happy. With that said, was it unfair for him to ask it. He did say that he doesnt expect to get it, and its just somthing most guys dream about. So should I be upset? What would be a better alternitive gift for him? I just dont think im ready to do that. and doesnt 3somes mess up relationships?

Answer 1

You should be offended if his plan doesn't include you.

Answer 2

A threesome doens't always mess up a relationship, it made my wife and I closer and our relationship stronger.

Why should you be upset at a request? How many things have you asked for that have anoyed your boyfriend? And he asks for one thing, and you go nuts? Relax! Now, if he had said something like, "Give me a threesome or get out," that would be a problem. But if you get upset everytime he asks for something you'd rather not give him, you don't have a future with anyone. Tell him, simple, "I'm not ready to do that." Better yet, "I don't think I want to do that." Saying "I'm not ready..." implies that it will happen eventually, and I wouldn't recommend saying something that will come off as a promise to do it unless you're sure it's going to happen.

As to an alternate gift, how about a hickory farms meat basket? If all he's looking for is a piece of meat... there you go! A scarf, if what he's looking for is something to help keep him warm. How about the newest video game, if he's looking for bragging rights with his friends. In short, it depends on what he's looking for.

Answer 3

He is not wrong for telling you how he feels and something that would make him happy. You are also not wrong for being skeptical. If the two of you are secure in your relationships and grounds rules have been set between the three of you before anything jumps off, then maybe you should try it. But dont do anything until you are ready.

No one is in the wrong her, but it sounds like you two need to do some serious discussing of the subject before just doing it. Otherwise only one person will be happy with it and the other will feel betrayed and hurt. If you love him, talk to him.

Answer 4

It wouldn't really be fair to your boyfriend to continue to be upset about this. If you have mentioned, either directly or indirectly, that you'd try anything once and do anything to make him happy, he is just feeling you out to see how far he could really go. If you are not comfortable with the idea, tell him flat out why you're not. If he continues to ask you after you've told him why you're not into it, then you have a reason to be upset. If you're looking for an alternative "sexy" gift, try making a video. Another good idea for spicing things up is role playing. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well Cindy Lou, threesomes only mess-up relationships when a) the relationship isn't on solid ground to begin with, and b) when they are done for the wrong reasons.

My wife and I have been swinging for several years, so I talk from experience here.

Basically, swinging (and yes, a threesome is technically swinging) will not fix a bad relationship, but is sure won't hurt a good one.

If your relationship is a committed one, and you are secure in yourself, your significant other, and in your relationship, than no harm can come to the relationship.

If you're not... than beware. If both of you aren't on the same page about it than you are headed for trouble. Both of you have to want to do it, not just one of you. It has to be both of your fantasy. If you're doing it for him, than you are forsaking yourself, which in the long run will make you resent him for coercing you to do it.

You have to make sure of why you and your boyfriend want to do it. Is it selfish, like he wants to have sex with another woman while not cheating on you? Or is it because he wants you two to have the fun of the experience together? How would he feel about a MFM rather than a FMF? If he says "no" than his motives are truly selfish. He wants this just for him and your fun and satisfaction is secondary to his own.

Things like this have to go both ways. Swinging is not a one way street. It is a couple activity FOR the couple, not for just one member of the couple. If you're not both getting something out of the experience than someone is going to get their feelings hurt.

From what he said about what he knows about you I'd say he thinks you're his best chance at making HIS fantasy come true and your enjoyment is secondary.

If you're not doing it for you, too... than don't do it. Be true to yourself. Swinging isn't for everyone just like skydiving isn't.

When my wife and I got into swinging there wasn't any "talking the other into it". It was something we both talked about and wanted to try. We both had fantasies that needed more than two people to fulfill. Our relationship was very solid and sex between us was very good. For this reason we were able to do it without issues between us. There is no jealousy because we are both on the same page about it and we hold each other above everyone else and respect each other immensely. We would never do anything to hurt the other, we'd never manipulate or coerce the other. We'd never lie to each other (we don't have to).

I'll also tell you that although most men list a FMF as their #1 fantasy, having been there and having done MFM... I'll take the MFM any day over the FMF. Seeing my wife having that much fun and being the center of attention is absolutely the best. Her happiness is essential to my own.

So I'd say, in your case, don't go there. Get him something more traditional, like a sweater.

Answer 6

Christmas is a time about Jesus, not about your boyfriend. What is it about Christmas to which he deserves a threesome? I think it is disgusting. I am a man and I never dream about that sort of thing. Usually when men start thinking of threesomes, that means they're getting bored with you. Things are on the downfall and I suggest you dump this disgusting pig before he dumps you. Good luck and Merry Christmas.

Dr. Relationship

Answer 7

Sex is something special between two people. Don't be upset, just alittle spice but you said you dont want to so don't otherwise there wont be any fun. He said he didnt expect to get it so he should be disappointed. Just say your not ready to and that if you did it wouldnt be fun cause your uncomfortable.

Three-somes could mess up a relationship..just look at 'Friends'

Answer 8

I think he was just saying what he wanted, not expecting you to do it. And yes they do tear up relationships. For a joke I would go to the adult bookstore and buy him a blowup doll and tell him she is the third part of the threesome. And while you are there get some toys to spice things up, things to use together. God bless****

Answer 9

Heck yea!!
You should be offended! If he really loved u he would only do it wit u! Ask him, did he even think bout how u would feel if u were doin a threesome? Just to tell u that's a sin and u don't want to do a sin on the birthday of God!!

Answer 10

If this isn't something you don't want to do then don't. Your not put on this planet to make him happy!!! It goes both ways!! If it can be something you might want to try at a later time, then talk to him about it. You are going to have to make sure that you and he are on the same page. Ask alot of questions, ask what happens after? Will it ever happen again? If I don't want it to happen is that OK with you? And if he gives you BS answers then you need to dump him and find someone who will respect you.

Answer 11

He shouldn't have asked. You should be pissed. A threesome is a gift that you can give, but he should never ask for. Oh, YES, they scew up relationships. But, a threesome is fun and sometimes worth more than the relationship anyways.