I know my boyfriend loves me, but he says he never wants to get married, and he has 3 kids from his previous marriage and doesn't want any with me. I know I shouldn't be with him, but if I leave him he'll be so so so hurt! How do I break up with him without him being so hurt!
2006-12-22 08:49:18 · 30 answers · asked by DrPepper 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You wasted five years of your life on him?! Girl you should have left him THE FIRST TIME he told you this stuff, about 5 years ago....I am sure he has said it more than once to you, but you decided to stick around thinking you could change his mind and you have looked up and 5 years have passed you by and his mind has not changed. Am I right?
I have a friend who went through the same thing, but she looked up and almost 10 years of her life was gone. Dont make the mistake she did. Go on with your life girl.
He has no problem telling you what he doesnt want. Take a tip from him and just be open and honest.
2006-12-22 08:55:25 · answer #1 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I suspect that you love your boyfriend but I am not sure about him loving you. The reason why I say this is that any man that loves you should feel comfortable to marry you with no regrets. The other thing is that he got children from the previous relationship that he had. He is no longer in a relationship with that person but somehow he seems tied to that female. If he loves you he should find pleasure in giving you at least a child. I mean that should not be too much for him since there is no complaints about him being financially unstable. Those are just a few favors that you are asking of him and he can't comply! Drop him like hot bread babes, he doesn't deserve you. Tell him you are off to seek someone who really cares for you, someone who doesn't hesitate to give you what you want and deserve.
2006-12-22 17:09:04 · answer #2 · answered by venom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....isn't he hurting you by expressing that he doesn't want to marry or have kids with you?
Honestly is always the best way to go. Of course he'll be hurt, but he'll recover, just like we all do. Why should your relationship have to be all HIS way?
You need to move on and do what's right for YOU, not stay in a dead-end relationship because you're afraid of hurting him. We've all been hurt, and we've all hurt others...and we all get over it and get on with our lives.
2006-12-22 16:55:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
So you are willing to suffer and not be happy so that HE will be happy? Ok that makes no sense but that's on you then. You're not fulfilled in the relationship, but he is. So he's getting a good deal.
It's on you. Be a big girl, tell him you're not getting what you need and if he can't keep up with you, you are going to move on. The end.
Plus life is too short to be miserable the whole time. If you didn't know there are only about 3 BILLION men on the planet. You should be able to find one who can fit into your world. And if you can't, then it wasn't meant to be and you just have to be happy with yourself.
2006-12-22 16:55:48 · answer #4 · answered by supernaturaldj2000 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well you have to understand that maybe from his first marriage and maybe since he has 3 kids already maybe he can't afford to have another since baby's need more things then other children. But if those are the reason that you don't want to be with him anymore it is kind of selfish don't you think? but whatever just tell him how you feel and maybe he will change to where you want him...but i would talk to him and tell him your true feelings...maybe he may want to marry but doesn't know what to say since his previous one.
Good Luck
2006-12-22 16:58:13 · answer #5 · answered by Haley Candace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no possible way of breaking up with him without him being "so hurt". Remember, it's a part of life. You need to break up with him for your sake and his. From what you're saying he can't satisfy your needs...marriage, children. Breaking up with him will be the best thing to do.
2006-12-22 16:54:53 · answer #6 · answered by salysor 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my ex did the same thing for the same reasons (go check out my questions) we lived together for 5 years and she wanted to get married.
she left me and its been about a year but are rethinking getting back together. I don't want a State marriage but will agree to a religious marriage, I guess its give and take, the paper shouldn't be so important that your gonna throw 5 years away.
ps me and my ex had both been married and divorced before so its not like we new to this.
2006-12-22 16:54:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that if you break up you will BOTH be hurt, but it's not fair that you won't be able to get married and have children of your own. you should tell him that although it's hard (for both of you) that you think it would be better if you weren't together anymore because you have diff. needs and hopes for the future. it's going to be incredibally hard, and it will take a long time to get over him, but if children and marraige are important toyou then you know that you need to let this go.
i'm really sorry you're in this situation but i think the best thing to do is to just tell him that you think it should be over, and then give urself alot of time to get over him before jumping into a new relationship and before hanging out with him. if you're going to get over him you need space from him.
2006-12-22 16:54:27 · answer #8 · answered by brookbabe90 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't break up someone without the hurt.
So, like getting a shot at the doctors office, just get it over with.
2006-12-22 16:54:23 · answer #9 · answered by iroc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he loves you at all, he wont be upset at you. He will hurt of course, but he will understand you two have very different goals for the future. If he makes you feel guilty or is angry at you for wanting a family and leaving him, then he is a putz and fcuk him anyway, either way your right, you need to get on with your life.
But for God's sake, wait until after New Years!! Its cruel to do it before then to anybody.
2006-12-22 16:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋