Why do they make fun of me? Do they hate me?

Question

Sometimes I feel like crying but I don't know what I'm crying for. So many people make fun of me at school, I am always depressed and sometimes I have headaches. I just don't know what to do. How can I deal with them?

Answer 1

Hi,

So sorry to hear you feel this way. I too was bullied when I was at school and it made my life miserable. I am now 31 and you know what I have decided? The best form of revenge is success and the best form of success is happiness. Therefore be happy! There is nothing more galling to your enemies than the sound of your happy laughter. This is of course much easier said than done. More advice on being happy in a moment.

First, let's look at what 's happening to you. These people have an image of you which is untrue and which they have exaggerated to make you seem ridiculous. I don't need to know what they say to you to know this. I know that this is what bullies do. They don't hate you. They probably have a lot of complicated reasons for feeling hostile and they take it out on you because for some reason you are different. Just remember that being different is not bad or wrong. (. And you really don't have to be very different to get picked on at school) Hold onto this because you are a fantastic person and one day you'll have the chance to really be yourself and be appreciated for who you are. Some of the most interesting people I know were made fun of at school and I'd certainly prefer to spend time with them than with the narrow-minded bullies who taunted them.

So, we have established that the bullies are wrong about you. How do you deal with the situation? The most important thing is that you should not be alone with this problem. Have you talked to your parents about it? Do you have a friend or friends you can confide in who understand about your worries? Can you talk to a brother or sister or to anyone else? Is there a sympathetic teacher or a school counsellor?

How do you deal with people who make fun of you? Humour is an excellent tool. They are trying to ridicule you, but if you can turn it around and make them look stupid then you score points. Sarcasm works well for this. Think about situations where they made you feel bad. If you could go back, what would you say to them to turn the situation around? See if you can come up with some killer putdowns. But beware. If they are violent types then keeping your head down might be the best option.

Back to being happy. I believe people are happiest whan they can really be themselves. You are at a time in your life when you are still discovering who you are. You need time and space to evolve into who you want to be. Think about what your interests are. Are you a member of any clubs or societies outside of school where you can express yourself and feel valued? If not, what sort of club or society would you like to join? Are you interested in a particular sport, or in music or drama? If you don't have a lot of money to spend, you could get involved in voluntary work with old people, disabled people or the homeless. If you are religious then a faith group could be a place for you to seek friendship and support. Do you have any ambitions? Perhaps you'd secretly love to be a singer in a band or an olympic swimmer. These aren't things you can achieve overnight, but you can set about achieving small goals you set for yourself and this could give you more self-confidence.

I want you to remember you are worth so much more than how those childish bullies make you feel. Life is voyage of discovery. You are at the beginning of your journey and you don't have much choice about how you travel or who gets on board with you, but as you get older you'll have more and more power to choose the people you spend time with and make sure they are good for you. Right now your job is to get ready for that time, learn about yourself and know your worth. Be good to others. Don't suffer in silence, reach out. And be patient. Things can only get better.

Answer 2

Okay, let me tell you something: Lots of people tell you that your school days are the best days of your life, but those people are wrong. I think everyone is kind of self-conscious and insecure at your age (I sure was!), and some people try to make themselves feel good by making others feel bad. I'm a teacher, and I've seen kids make fun of other kids for being too smart, too short, too tall, whatever. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. *They* have a problem, but unfortunately, their problem has become your problem.

First of all, I would advise you to find a counselor or teacher to talk to--when you say "I am always depressed and sometimes I have headaches," I worry that this situation may have contributed to your having depression, which is an actual illness, not just a passing mood. If you are depressed, the illness can be treated, so take care of that first.

Next, find something that interests you passionately, either at school or out in the community--a sport, something in the arts, community service, even a job. Make sure that it involves other people who will value you for what you do and who you are. You still have to go to school, but if school is not 100% of your existence, and if you have people who accept and value you, the immature kids at school might be easier to ignore.

Work hard to get good grades; college/university is so much better than high school!

Finally, realize that there is help--ask the teacher or counselor you talk to for a copy of your school's harassment, bullying and intimidation policy. You have a right to feel safe and comfortable at school. Really! If any of the behavior of the mean kids falls under this policy, you have grounds for complaint, and the school administration has to take you seriously.

Good luck and don't forget to talk to that teacher or counselor.

Answer 3

You don't deal with them. It's clear that they are stupid. God made everybody different and if they can't understand that "oh well". I work at a developmental center and the normal people are the ones that are odd but I think it's good because they learn to deal with diversity.

If you wanna cry, cry and let it out just don't let them know that you are crying. Try talking to an adult to get help with your feelings to avoid depression and headaches. School is important and I would hate to see something drastic happen. My email is not private if you wanna chat I have a listening ear and can offer some advice.

Answer 4

I don't know why kids do that, they feel so important. Just find your own friends and be yourself. I dealt with that mostly in the younger grades. I have never been a trendy person, so I kind of do my own thing somewhat when it comes to fashion. If I don't like a style, I don't wear it. Like the whole hideous boots to your hips with a classy dress look, that just makes me gag. Because of this I have never really fit in. Especailly in school. I was never wierd, like a skater or gothic or anything, I was just always my own person. I always refused to let people tell me how I should dress or who I should hang out with. I refuse to sell my sould for popularity,. Life should change once you are out of school. You can do your thing in peace and make a place in the world. THat is what I have done. Now I have some really good freinds, who like me for me, and they don't try to change who I am. Some of my firends are from Jr. high and High School, but I have made new friends since then. I have found that the adult world is really a lot less shallow, then the High School world. Most adults should be less shallow then they were in school.

Just be yourself, and learn to laugh at life. Also stand up to the bullies, don't let them treat you bad. You don't have to like them or go to their parties. Most of them don't want to be your friend, they just want to make fun of you. If you can make life more fu and laugh at your self and not be serious all the time, it will make life easier.

That being said, are there things about you, they make fun of that you should change? Do they say you stink, that your hair is never combed, that your clothes look ragged (i guess that one is the style now)? If so, you could start taking better care of your self and your clothing. That kind of stuff is more than them being mean, that is a life skill that is essential. You don't need to look like you stepped of the pages of a fashion magazine everyday, but if you look sharp and put together, people will take you more seriously, especially when you are an adult. If you look and act put together, you will feel better about yourself and you will get better jobs.

Take it from me, I was a nerd in school, I have been out 10 years and I am still a nerd. But I have a decent job, because I look decent and put together and behave dignified, and I don't take life to seriously, I am serious when I need to be, but I have fun the rest of the time. And I have really good friends who still love me for who I am, no matter how nerdy I am.

Answer 5

Anytime someone is being made fun of, it's not THEIR fault. Nothing is wrong with them. It's the people who are doing the making fun of that have problems. They just like putting other people down just to feel better about themselves... which is wrong and immature. They're most likely gonna be messed up or have more problems when they become adults.

Ingore those idiots. They're just thinking about themselves. They're mean jokes and stuff will come back at them.

Answer 6

okay, first just think that someday it will be over. You will be out of school and it wont matter how popular you were. When your in the real world, no one cares if you were popular, all they care about is how smart you are. so don't worry about all those other people, focus on your self, try to get good grades, stay healthy, and keep a good family life. If this teasing ever gets serious, you should tell a trusted adult. But focus on your self. Try to be the best you can be, and one day when you are accepting your award for some amazing thing that you did, you can say, "how do you like me now!!". Good like babe! you'll be okay!!! (:

Answer 7

No they don't hate you they just don't understand you. The most powerful defense against misunderstanding is compassion/understanding on your part. As for the headaches, drink more water (bottled if tap is chlorinated), eat more salads, get your homework done ASAP, and talk to a trusted parent or counselor about fun ways to relive stress. Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

It's the inevitable and unfortunate consequence of immaturity. You wouldn't believe how many of those same people will be kissing your butt five years after school ends, thankful to see you. Ignore the ridicule. It's a form of fear and a sad attempt at controlling and manipulating you to help themselves feel "bigger and better", which, in fact, they are proving they are not. In truth, 99% of them will stop if they can't get a reaction out of you, so just don't give them one. They're not worthy of your time anyways.

Answer 9

What do they make fun of you for? Screw it...I'm 20 and I don't know anybody from high school anymore. In a few years them people will be nobody to you...so why should you try to please them now? Definitely don't cry over it. Just do what you have to do in school. Think about your future...that's much more important than the idiots at school. Good luck, and don't worry about it.

Answer 10

You really need to talk to someone that you trust. a teacher or your parents would be great but if not just a friend at first who can help you talk to someone else. It will upset you more if you bottle it up and dont tell anybody. I have fallen out with people before at school and because i worried about it so much i ended up making myself ill. Talk to somebody hun it really helps believe me.