Why Do Women Always Get This Impression?

Question

I'm a pretty confident guy. I'm no male model, but I'm good looking. And yes, I do tend to date pretty actively.

Lately, girls constantly get the impression that I'm some kind of player or that I just want to use them. I hate this, because I'm always honest about my intentions. If I'm only interested in sex, I'll pretty much say that point blank. And when I'm really interested in someone, getting to know them, maybe having a future with them, I'm honest about that too.

How do I combat this perception that I'm trying to be a player?
How do I convince someone special that that's not who I am?

Answer 1

Honestly, I think you're a player.. BUT.. it might because you haven't met the right girl yet. I BELIEVE you could be serious towards relationship.. to that girl that’s right for you.

The thing is, you seem like a man who likes challenges and don't seem to give up things you desire for that easily. No matter how hard it's gonna be.

Like you said before, you get bored easily. Maybe someday you finally get the things you long desire for, you'll eventually find yourself losing interest and yet you may not adore it like ever before.

~Good luck~

~MERRY CHRISTMAS~

Answer 2

You are interpreting player differently than women. What you just described is the epitomey of what a player is. Call out any player and they use the exact same excuses you do, a mascerade of some form of honesty.

Any way, they get that impression because they are smart.

Want to combat the perception? Either don't acknowledge it at all. Or interpret it as a positive, "thats cute", "im glad you noticed", "Im glad you liked it", "it will be ok", ect.
My personal favorite, "No, baby, im not a player, honest.....Im the Team Captain"
But any way if you react to thier perception, you are admitting guilt, but whats more is you are showing you are not in complete control of yourself, because you obviously have an incongruency with in your integrity.

In other words you don't try to convince, you just be.

Additionally you could be moving too fast, this means she is becoming attacted to you already but is not comfortable with it. Almsot like too good to be true, so she'll assume the worst; you're a pro. You can combat that by "moving slower". Allow her to become comfortable with you...let her know there is something special about her, that actually earned your attention, you have to show her you are not just a player trying to get your D wet, but that she earned the attention you are giving her.

Answer 3

I have to agree with make her the center of attention when you go out. Also tell her you have in the past dated actively but you have changed because all the dating was searching for the one you have found now. I know it sounds kind of mushy but girls like that to a point. I for one like to be direct and to the point as well and I have always said if you can't handle it then pretend you can or move on. Honesty is the best and letting her know that you were dating to find the "One" is over and that you have found her. Hold off on the ex unless you know it is right. She'll also give you inclinations as to when sex will happen. If you are serious with this girl then take it slow, enjoy yourself with her. If she is right for you, you'll have a lifetime of sex and she'll know your not a player.

Answer 4

Confidence sometimes is perceived as ********* , unfair but true. Playing the field sometimes and dating frequently can earn you the title of a player. It's a hard image to break, I know because I dated a 'born- again' player. What he did was centered himself around me, and only me, and made me feel comfortable and secure in his feelings for me. He didn't flirt with other girls when I was around or even glance at them. And he didn't do it behind my back (because word will get back to the girl eventually). Before you even start trying to date this 'special' girl..start trying to hang out with her more on a friends term, and show interest in her. take true interest in what she's about and use those things to show her that you're intentions are a genuine relationship, not just a bootycall!

Answer 5

Why do you say you're not a player?
You say you date actively and that includes casual sex. Just because you're honest about it doesn't mean you're not a player.

If you want to find someone special, I would suggest you put away your casual sex shingle for a while and get a better reputation. If you have a player reputation, you're probably never going to find a special girl.

Answer 6

So where are the girls getting this impression of you if not from you ?? You must be stroking your ego with stories your telling them or making sure they know that you date a lot. They didn't come up with that all on their own and I dont think your looks alone can lead them down that road. You might need to police your conversations for a while to see where your going wrong.

Answer 7

yeah I get that all the time. It sucks, it really does, man I dont know I just kinda bought into and became one. I know thats bad but its just like you said I will be straight up with them and if I was just in it for sex I would tell them. But as for trying to get to know someone yeah if they see you as a player then its is really hard. I have some work around for that kinda work on some women. Its kinda of mind tricks but that just goes back to being a player again. You could always try the lame a ss nice guy approach that might work, but hey just be your self and if they dont trust you then screw them you dont want that in your life anyways.

Answer 8

mmm... Don't be a player, brah! I know you're not, but hey man thats cos i just heard exaclty what you said. See what you have to do is tell her what you just told us, see? SO you find someone you're serious about and then if she thinks the same way be like "hey you know what im actualy serious about you and im being honest. try me out and if you decide im lying well then i guess it wasn't ment to be." you knwo what im saying? so if you serious, you gotta be serious and honest too. or you could just give up on that be like hey sex is good for me who needs marriage when you can have free love? ... but i think the first idea was beetter. Good hunting mein freund

Answer 9

well I Hope she would consider going on a date with me.: ) After all priests always tells the Parishioners " Humayo kayo at magpakadami". Looking seductive is different from seducing parishioners. And the woman is not at Fault it's the persons looking maliciously at her. A woman can dress as she please, I just hope it's a fascinating view. How come nobody criticizes a man wearing tight fitting shirts, while homo parishioners are wagging their tonques and winking at men?

Answer 10

If I had the answer to your question I would also be able to change peoples perception that I am a standoffish b*itch...

they have to get to know you well before that perception can change....