My (half) sister and I aren't very close. I've tried getting close to her but she isn't responsive. I recently got engaged and she didn't even seem happy about it! My mother feels I should make her my matron of honor to show her how my I care but I am nervous not only that she will be upset during the wedding but that she won't even help with the plans (she lives about 5 states away) What should I do?
2006-12-22 06:55:36 · 26 answers · asked by Madison L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would normally advise someone to definitely choose their sister as maid or matron of honor but you say you aren't close and that she isn't interested in being close.
In that case I'd say to choose someone else. It is, after all, your wedding.
What you could do to appease everyone is to have both a matron and maid of honor. That way you'd have the person you really want who would be there to help you with the plans but the family would be kept happy. It's not entirely unusual to have both a maid and matron of honor.
Best wishes to you!
2006-12-22 07:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by janisko 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do both of you a favor by not asking her to be your matron of honor. If you two are not close, she will not expect you to have her fulfill that role. By asking her, you are pressuring her into assuming the role. You can still have her in the wedding without any feelings being hurt. My sister and I are very close and I was shocked when she asked me to be her matron of honor, I felt she should have asked one of her best friends instead of me. I was honored taht she asked me, but wouldn't have been upset in the least even if she wouldn't have had me in the wedding at all. Make sure that you tell her how much you wish her to be included in all your plans even though she is far away.
2006-12-22 10:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by princess lily 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your right. I probably wouldn't want to choose her either. This is your wedding and everything should feel perfect for you not your mother. I understand what your mother is talking about but your relationship recovery shouldn't include your wedding day. That should be done in time. If you don't feel comfortable as her for your maid of honor, don't ask her. First of all, its suppose to be someone your close to, and someone who is supportive of you.
You might could ask her to be one of your bridesmaids or something to make her feel included. Just let your mother know that you want the best candidate for matron of honor, and right now, your half sister, who is five states away and never tries to be an actual sister, is not the best candidate. Simple as that.
Good Luck!
2006-12-22 07:06:37 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should not pick your maid/matron of honor based on who someone else thinks should do the job. You should pick the person you want. However, you might want to pick someone who will probably be with you for the long haul, so you might want to use that as a consideration. A lot of times friends come and go and if you pick a friend, this person may be completely out of your life in a few years. Family members will probably be a part of your life for your lifetime. That's probably why they are so often picked for this role.
In the end though, it should be your choice.
2006-12-22 08:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by Betsy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding and the Matron of Honor has a lot of responsibility and needs to be close. Chose your best friend. Have her as a bridesmaid and that's going to be tough enough as it is with dress fittings, etc... AND DON'T FEEL GUILTY! LOL You are entitled to make a decision others may not like.
2006-12-22 07:07:57 · answer #5 · answered by Snick S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Include her in wedding but not as the matron of honor. Have someone like a close friend of relative be the matron of honor and your (half) sister be a brides maid or hostess at your reception
2006-12-22 07:02:00 · answer #6 · answered by Kristen S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would definitely make her a part of the wedding party, but it doesn't have to be matron of honor (unless you can have TWO honor attendants...maid and matron of honor). You could make her a bridesmatron and include her, though. Your main honor attendant should be someone you will never lose contact with. Someone you know very well and love. This half sister, doesn't sound like that person to me.
2006-12-22 06:59:27 · answer #7 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
let her be a bridesmaid, but not a matron of honor, believe me if its questionable now, its not gonna get any better, and sometimes, and your mom is gonna have to get a grip on this soon, your wedding is not for your mom and your 1/2 sis-its for you...no need to make yourself uncomfortable and cause that much more stress for a girl you said your "not very close" to. Maybe she could be like the 2nd bridesmaid if it becomes a big issue, but I would not say at all let her be the matron of honor!
2006-12-22 07:59:19 · answer #8 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're matron of honor is supposed to be there to help you in every way - she is your main attendant. Don't let your mother pressure you in to doing something that you feel unsure about. You've tried to be closer to your half-sister. The ball is in her court now. She needs to put forth a little effort herself. I would pick someone else to be your maid/matron of honor.
2006-12-22 07:04:18 · answer #9 · answered by quatrapiller 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her ask her if she doesnt like you or if there is somthing that u did to her to make her act the way she does. Dont make her your matron of honor just because ur mom said so, u would need to do it because that is what u want! If u make her your matron of honor she will know it wasnt because u wanted her to be!
2006-12-22 06:59:27 · answer #10 · answered by ReRe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋