Does anyone know any really good blond jokes, because I have never heard on that actually made me laugh...thanks in advance...
2006-12-22 06:35:31 · 7 answers · asked by Lola 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Blonde jokes:
A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.
She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.
The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".
~~~~~
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
~~~~
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
~~~~
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
~~~~
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.
The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
~~~~
Did you hear about the blonde who took a book out of the library called How to Hug, only to discover that it was volume seven of the encyclopedia?
~~~~
blonde walks into a restaurant to get some lunch, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up.
The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt.
"Gee, that's nice. What did you name the other one?"
~~~
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves.
They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one.
The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands.
They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, �Okay, we'll give him one more try.
We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!�
2006-12-22 06:42:37 · answer #1 · answered by kim 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
THree girls commit a crime. One is a blond, the other is a brunnete, and the other is a redhead.
The cops are after them so they quickly run into a storage warehouse and they decide to hid in potato sacks. The cops burst into the warehouse and sees three potato sacks.
The cops approach the first sack where the brunnette was hiding in and are about to check it when the brunnette quickly starts barking. The cop says "Oh, it's only a dog" so they move on to the second sack.
The second sack the redhair is hiding in they start to check it when the redhair quickly starts meowing. THe cop says "Oh, it's only a cat."
He goes to the last sack and is about to check it when the blond in it quickly says "Potatoes, potatoes."
All three women end up getting caught is sentenced to death by gunfire.
The first girl about to get shot is the brunnette. The judge asks the brunnette: "Any last words?"
The brunnette points behind him and says "TORNADO!!"
Everyone looks so she manages to escape.
The second girl about to get shot is the redhaired. The judge asks the redhair: "Any last words?"
The redhair points behind him and screams "TSUNAMI!!!"
Everyone looks so she manages to escape.
The last girl about to get shot is the blond. The judge asks the blonde: "Any last words?"
The blonde nods and shouts: "FIRE"
And they opened fire and shot her.
2006-12-22 15:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
2006-12-22 15:44:42 · answer #3 · answered by Pandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that a blond has played on your computer?
-The joystick is on the chair.
What is the difference betwen a blond and a letter?
-They both get to the mail.
What is happening whit a neuron in a blond's head?
-it dies of loneliess
2006-12-22 14:50:59 · answer #4 · answered by Vlad A 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how to fit 2 quarts of water in the little pack
2006-12-22 23:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by aengel69 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."
2006-12-22 20:19:03 · answer #6 · answered by summerbrze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol...thanks for the laugh!
That was nice!
~browneyes~
2006-12-22 14:51:39 · answer #7 · answered by browneyes 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋