Desperately need advice to save my relationship?

Question

Thank you for reading this post. Let me introduce, I am 30y m. Since last 1 year I am in relationship with a girl about 27y age. We started off well, and both were convinced, that we are best match for each other. But there was a problem, she is already married & hence initially although I was madly in love with her, I tried to discourage this affair. But it went of well, and over a period of time I have concluded her as my better half & would want to spend rest of my life with. Lately she seems to have lost all interest in the relationship, she says we are not compatible and she does not lve me any more so we should saperate. She says, I insulted her by not providing enough attention / time during the early days, which she needed. She says she wants me just as a friend. I am totally clueless as to what to do so that I can save the relationship. Please let me know if you need any more information. Thank you

Thank you for your responses so far, Let me rephrase the scenario. She definitely does not have any feeling towards her husband and they have been living saperate for years and a formal divorce will follow in few months. Her marriage was more due to misunderstanding and her family pressure (welcome to India). She of course was looking for an alternative & at one point we both agreed that we have reached an understanding. I want to save this relationship because its in good for both of us. I am not very social person and my sence of humor is dried out due to tensions in my own family (parents, job, etc.) Lately she has become more of a freak-out, she wants to enjoy by going to long drives, spending money etc., which I understand but cannot be like that myself. I have become more of a sad person which she doesnt enjoy to be with. How can I make myself interseting again? thank you.

Answer 1

Your first mistake was messing around with a married woman. It sounds as though she doesn't love you or her husband. Obviously, she isn't satisfied in her marriage and is looking elsewhere. She needs to step up to the plate and come clean, either straighten up her act or be a woman and leave. As for the relationship the two of you share, it sounds as though she has moved on. She has already broken things off with you, but you are still in denial. I think she is unsatisfied in her marriage, but she wants to keep the security of the relationship. She took you for a test drive to see if you were the "one" to sweep her off her feet. You didn't and she's moving on. Unfortunately, her husband will suffer time and again because of this, until he finds out or one of them leave.
As for you, it is time you step up to the plate and cut your losses. Try to get over this girl and start anew. Don't ever start a relationship with someone who is already in a relationship. This is only cause for heartache for everyone in the end. I am truly sorry that you are upset, but time will heal all wounds and there is someone out there who will love you endlessly.......no strings attached.

Answer 2

Well buddy in most likelihood u have been taken for a royal ride. Why was she interested in u when she was already married in the first place? she just wanted to have some extra fun may be. I am sure she must have said things like ur soulmates and all to convince u that she loved u. may be she was just lusting for u and once she has had her fun, she is finding faults with ur behaviour. the fact that u started treating her as ur better half must have caused her to develop cold feet cuz she can marry u only by divorcing the husband who is married to and she apparently is not ready to do it. She might no more be interested in two timing as she has been doing so far. Just ask urself if u did not show enough interest in her inthe early phase, why did she go all this way with u? This friend thing that she says now she wants, is also a pure gimmick to keep ur mouth shut. Better drop her like a hot coal, not even a hot potato. U never know someday she might say u tried to molest her and open the doors of prison for you. So move away as soon as u can in ur own interest and find some nice gal, marry her and settle down with her.
Of course u can thank ur stars for the royal ride u were taken to and u got some fun inthe bargain.
Good luck

Answer 3

if she has been apart from him and you are the first relationship she has had in that time, then it is a "rebound relationship" for her and would probably be a waste of your time to try and rekindle it. she isn't being honest with you, i suspect, because she is telling you that the problem existed in the beginning when you didn't show enough attention--if that were true, it would not have come this far. she is being deceitful and i would probably walk away--of course, that's your decision and a difficult one to make. but if you stay, you could be wasting your time and energy on something that's doomed for failure. i don't trust her for many reasons you've mentioned.

Answer 4

No one can fix arelationship.If people would understand that because you want something to work dosen't mean it will.Relationships do require a certain amount of effort from two people.If one person is working hard to make it work there is definitly something wronge.Don't be afraid when this happens to just let go.You may find someone you will not have to work to happy with.

Answer 5

Well my friend I believe you set yourself up for failure to start. I know you didnt want to start the affair but you did. I believe you should either go with the friends thing as hard as it might be or cut all ties. She has lost interest in you or so it seems because either she is trying work things out with her hubby or she found a new friend. I think you should run far from this situation, before your hurt even more. Learning from the situation and picking women that are more suitable for an eligible bachlor like yourself..

Answer 6

If her heart is no longer into the relationship, you should probably just let it go and move on...To try to have a relationship with someone who doesn't really care is pointless...You would be doing all the giving...and the fact that she is with someone else will eat at you as long as you try to continue with her...The writing is on the wall...She doesn't care about you as much as you care about her...

Answer 7

Maybe this young lady just doesnt know how to tell you its over so is being nasty to you to make it easier,
If she is married then there is no chance for you both and a relationship.
Try and get on with your life and find some one single

Answer 8

#1 Why in the world would you date a married person, and #2 if she is not divorced by now, doesnt this tell you she had NO PLANS of ever getting divorced? Not a good idea to want to stay involved .

Answer 9

Here. Let me give you a nickel. Now, go buy a clue. Then, give up the 'relationship'. Find someone who is single. Good lord.

Answer 10

may b she is happy wid her hubby now, u also move " time never waits for any1". i know its easy 2 say, bt this is d best for u. see sme movies, go out wid frnds or family, it will make u forget her wid less difficulty.make urself bussy so tht u dont get time 2 think abt frm tht angle .bt part frm her as frnds.find sme1 else
" life is like an icecream eat it bfore it melts"
gudluck****
muskaan