So. I'm getting married in January of 2008. My finace's parents are Jehovah's Witnesses and my parents are Methodist. His dad won't go near another church so we can't get married in a church. Does anyone has some suggestions as to where we could get married (remember, it's in January) or how we could work the ceremony so that his dad will attend? Also, we live in the Twin Cities area in Minnesota.
2006-12-22 06:21:02 · 15 answers · asked by Sarah 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Jehovah's Witnesses do not participate in interfaith in any form, and it is true that a religious wedding ceremony often involves specific religious acts from the wedding party. No Witness would participate in such a wedding party, since committing such acts would be considered an act of apostasy.
Some individuals among Jehovah's Witnesses are troubled by the idea of entering a non-Witness church for any purpose, although that cannot be said to be a teaching of the religion itself. However, Jehovah's Witnesses believe that no one should violate his conscience in this matter.
Some brides and grooms who have lovingly considered the sensibilities of their wedding guests have chosen to have their wedding ceremony solemnized in a garden, park, hotel, theater, private home, or Mall of America. No Jehovah's Witness would expect a non-Witness to make such a change for his sake.
Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20020208/diagram_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20020208/
http://watchtower.org/e/19990215/
2006-12-22 07:53:56 · answer #1 · answered by achtung_heiss 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Rent a hall in an otherwise secular location.
The idea of going to a hotel is a great one, but there are also restaurants that have large rooms available and will cater big events.
Basically, most businesses in the hospitality sector can offer you a location as well as catering, decorating, etc. This is not an unknown or even an unusual event within that industry.
There's an even bigger question here. How important is it to you and your fiance to be married in a church, or even have your marriage "sancioned" by a church? That's the real question here. Depending upon your collective view, your ceremony could be officiated by a Justice of the Peace, by either of your rministers, by both of your ministers (they will need to be asked, to be agreeable, and to work things out between themselves) or by another minister or ministers entirely.
Understand, though, that this will onlly be the first of many such situations throughout your marriage. The most important thing, though, will be that you and your partner find a way to agree between yourselves on each of these, and then to deal with your collective family as a team.
Congratulations and best wishes on your upcoming marriage.
2006-12-22 06:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It all comes down to what is more important to you and Hubby-to Be. When my brother, a former Witness, and his Wife, who is no longer involved in her parents religion either, got married they did it in her parents back yard. They figured that way no one could be offended. IF it is more important to you/him/your parents to have a church wedding then do so. It is your right. Just as it is your DIL right to not attend. I would not have gone to my Brother's wedding had it been in a church. That was my right. I suggest a non religious ceremony. You could use a justice of the piece. Then have the reception at a neutral place like a gymnasium or auditorium. Above all remember that just as you do not want your feelings/beliefs/rights quashed that your Dad to be does not want/deserve to have his feelings trivialized. Include your parents and husbands parents in the planning enough so you know what to expect on the wedding day as far as reactions.
2006-12-23 16:54:48 · answer #3 · answered by Ish Var Lan Salinger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you say what both your sets of parents are, but what about you and your guy? Are you going to settle in on one religion -- that's the key here, not where the actual wedding will be held. The bigger issue is what the two of you are deciding on for your future and family. Sounds as though if you don't have a specific choice, you would have to go with city hall, or a jp at your home.
2006-12-22 23:25:09 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I commend you for caring about your fiance's parents and wanting them to attend in the ceremony in a way that they would approve of. Is your fiance an active JW? (Or he isn't one?) In anycase, when I married my fiance (whose father is a JW) we knew he wouldn't go in a church, so we got married at city hall, or at the civic centre. Do you guys have one? You just book the "chapel" in city hall and go from there.
If your fiance is a JW, then he shouldn't be marrying a non-JW. As in our case, we decided to become Jehovah's Witnesses after we got married, so we both studied the bible together with Witnesses. This would make your fiance's parents very proud of you and bring less problems between you and your mate.
2006-12-25 03:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I get a bit of flack for saying this, but religions aren't menu choices for some. If he says he won't attend if a minister or parson marries you and you want him to be there, tell him you respect his views, but your view require marriage by a religious personage. The get married by a clergyman. You will never have a compromise with very religious people. You can respect their wishes, but they either are going to realize you don't share their religion now and in the future, or you will spend the rest of your life trying to accomplish the impossible. If you don't mind marrying by civil judge or justice of the peace, find one in the yellow pages. Get married in a hotel, or bed and breakfast, they are also listed. Even if his parents won't come to the wedding ceremony, perhaps they will come to the reception. Jehovah's Witnesses have very different observances from other followers of Christ, little things like no Christmas and no celebration of birthdays, and larger things too, like no blood transfusions even if it would save a life.
2006-12-22 06:52:21 · answer #6 · answered by justa 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you might want to take a look at your relationship. Religion is a huge issue to agree on in marriage. Are you willing to convert to his religion? To me this is a HUGE red light. I think there is a bigger picture behind your question. If your families are already having conflict and the wedding is a year away, what 10 years of marriage hold? Especially, if the two of you disagree on this issue as well. You should read the book "Falling in Love for all the Right Reasons" by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony.com. It talks about compatibility issues that have to work in order to have a happy, lasting relationship. Good luck and Merry Christmas.
2006-12-22 07:01:45 · answer #7 · answered by Gretta 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's so nice of you to be so considerate and kind to your fiance's dad. He certainly would appreciate your effort in working things so that he could attend. I'm sure you would have a happy marriage with this kind of yielding attitude.
My two cents:
Why don't you throw the ball at him by asking him on what circumstances (at what kind of place to have a wedding) will he attend your wedding. Ask him to give you suggestions.
I personally think a hotel function room is a very nice option.
It's a bit rushing now to book anything but you never know, you might get cancelations.
BTW: Be nice to yourself. Get a massage or your nails done to relax. I just got married about 6 months ago and I well remember how stressful it was for me to attend to my family's needs. Ask your maids to help you out. Kindly remind them that it is your day, not theirs, and thus their main job is to help you to feel relaxed.
Congratulations, and enjoy yourself on the day!
2006-12-23 06:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by lovebibleresearch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, at least you are both of a Christian religion, so it's not as messy as it could be.
It's a shame that you guys have to forego a church wedding just to appease his father. That's very selfish of your future father-in-law. And since it will be January in Minnesota, I doubt an outdoor wedding would work.... hmm... The only thing I can think of is a courthouse marriage, but those aren't very romantic, in my opinion.
Best of luck to you.
2006-12-22 06:30:46 · answer #9 · answered by willow oak 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In my own opinion, I think he should set his religion aside, for the fact that his son is getting married. I do not believe that he'd let the location of the ceremony conflict with his attendence at his own son's wedding. Atleast, I hope not.
I got married in a gazebo at the local duck pond, but that's unable to be done in January, so try to find a local reception hall that you can rent for the ceremony.
2006-12-22 06:30:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋