my boyfriend is really pissing me off with this one…..he always thinks I am lying to him or cheating on him, now he thinks I am not paying on my credit card. He will always bring it up as a joke, but I know he is being serious.
His last girl friend did him wrong. Stole from him, cheated on him, she hurt him bad. Sometimes I think he compare me to her and thinks that I do those same things – which I don’t but he just can’t get over it. ..
he wants me to take back his presents so i can pay off my credit cad!!
what do i do?????
2006-12-22 06:04:20 · 22 answers · asked by hasanyoneseenmyshoes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him your not her and if he doesn't start treating you like you then leave.. You don't need to be compared to anyone..
No don't take his presents back..
Tell him to trust you or leave..
2006-12-22 06:07:57 · answer #1 · answered by Rebecca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I come from the same place your boyfriend does. It's not easy to have a woman treat us like nothing and betray all of the trust we have put into them. I have a new grilfriend now and sometimes I don't trust her and assume she will do the same as the last girlfriend. I will tell you that it is very hard to get over the the last, specifically since she has done me wrong and I know what your boyfriend is going through. I've been together with my girlfriend for over a year now, I can trust her more than I did at first. If you want him to trust you there are two key factors. Actions and time. You have to re-assure him that everything is fine and that your not like the last one, we are hard headed so it may take a few times of re-assuring. Let him go with you and watch you pay your your crdit card bill and that may burn an image into his mind and that issue can disappear. Lastly it will take time for him to forget about his ex and the wrongs that were done to him. Stick with him and eventually he will start to trust you and be nicer. It took me a while but I got over her and I'm able to trust her alot now. Hope this helps.
2006-12-22 14:15:56 · answer #2 · answered by DJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as the not paying on your credit card thing... it sounds like he would rather you pay your bills for the good of both of you, but he is going about it in an asshole way! You and him should've talked about it before the holidays, he then could've told you he didn't feel comfortable with you spending money you may not have on gifts for him. As far as the accusing you of cheating... well it's either low self esteem or he is cheating! I think you'll be able to decide which one it is. Don't react to it, just look at him in all seriousness and tell him you are not going to play into his game... you are not cheating on him because you care about him way too much, you know he's been hurt but you are not like the others. Good luck!
2006-12-22 14:09:11 · answer #3 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take back the presents and get the charges reversed! hey boyfriends come and go but credit card debt goes on and on and on.....and you might want to hook up with a credit counseling service to get out from your debt faster and pay lower interest rates while doing so ...do a good job researching each service some charge huge fees to do what many others will do for a minimal fee!!
2006-12-22 14:21:06 · answer #4 · answered by chiefof nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that until you get married your credit card bills are no concern of his and that he doesn't need to be discussing your finances as they are personal and none of his business.
Then try to understand that it's impossible for him not to compare you to past girlfriends. It's natural and we're all guilty of it at some point in our lives. But he needs to realize that though he may be worried about things happening again to him he can't hassle you about things you have not done. You are not her and he can't treat you as if you are. Tell him you understand why he does what he's doing and that you are sorry that he got hurt. But you are not her and if he hasn't realized it by now he's dumb. So, he needs to treat you like you deserve to be treated. He's not your daddy, he's your boyfriend and you don't need him to watch over everything you do so you don't screw things up. He has to learn to trust again and you've earned that trust. It's time for him to start dishing it out.
2006-12-22 14:10:24 · answer #5 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs help... there is nothing you can do to make him secure of your relationship.. well you can obey his every desire and report to him every hour to make him feel...secure! Come on things happen to all of us in life..but some of us are just a little stronger... think about it.. It is not what his ex did to him... it is his persona... what does your credit card have to do with what his ex has done to him.... it is your credit! If your bad at paying your bills on time So What! Every one always has at least one issue... your not a CHEATER! He is going to have to deal with something that he dislikes.... and about the gifts... WOW... that tells you how fun he is going to be..... NO GIFTS! You know that is not changing ever! You will always have bills to pay... they never end! Tell him you don't need financial counseling... Listen to what I have to say... even if you both live together and combine income.... it is so wrong for him to tell you to return gifts... he has no spirit..come on!
2006-12-22 14:24:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand his place. He has been hurt. It is very difficult to go through hell with an idiot, then come and be with someone as wonderful as you are.
He was fooled before. He feels that he needs to be extra sure so he doesn't get hurt again.
Be patient with him. He sounds like a good man. He wants to help you pay off your credit cards. He's a keeper!
2006-12-22 14:09:40 · answer #7 · answered by Recreantess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The paying off your credit card is his strange way of letting you know he loves you. It's suppose to show you he cares more about you than he does about material things..The compareing thing is something most people do not realizing their doing it. Tell him it hurts your feelings and you would be grateful if he would stop. My gf does that, but not as much as she used to, but she showed me I was doing it to.Be nice about saying it sounds like something you can work through.
2006-12-22 14:12:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take back his presents and buy yourself something nice and tell the guy to check back with you after he's gotten over his ex!
2006-12-22 14:07:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop that F@cking loser.
You deserve to be loved,trusted, and appreciated.
Why should you pay for the crimes of some other woman.
2006-12-22 14:22:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋