I have an 18 yr old daughter who is dating a 27 yr old man who is divorced and has an extensive record and is in a half way house for the next few months. oh yeah she is pregnant. he is a looser and she cant see this. how do you open her eyes?
2006-12-22 05:52:30 · 23 answers · asked by angie_lucas67 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
when the guy dies..............
2006-12-22 06:00:20 · answer #1 · answered by Alex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've said this before, it's hard to watch someone you love (I would imagine especially a child) basically self-destruct, but sometimes there's nothing you can do. The only thing you can do is be there when her world crashes and lhelp her pick up the pieces. It's hard to sit and watch it all go down, but you can't really force her to do anything. I know you're well aware that she's an adult now, but I do realize that you're still her mother and you want what's best for her.
Just keep loving her and supporting her (just realize that support does NOT mean always bailing her out of trouble!) and hope that things work out for the best in the end.
2006-12-22 13:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by luvablelds 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd try to be her best friend. As such the best friend rule is that you can never say a bad word about your best friend's boyfriend even though it drives you crazy sometimes. Since she's pregnant, be really supportive of her through that, and help her look for baby clothes and all that. Help her throw a shower, etc.
Since she's your daughter, I'm sure not only is she smart, but from what you describe the loser guy will be in trouble again and she will realize he is a loser. (Good news is that every time you get arrested again you go to jail for a longer period of time!) Good luck!
2006-12-22 15:29:46 · answer #3 · answered by Karen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Encourage her. The more you like him, the less she will- her eyes will open rather than having to defend him.
She is 18 and that pretty much means you don't have any say. Make the decision now to love your daughter and soon coming grand baby unconditionally- that means no judging. No sense in making yourself miserable over something you have control over- your attitude.
I said a prayer for you before I sent this. Love you.
2006-12-22 14:04:26 · answer #4 · answered by skayrkroh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunetly there probably isn't a way to get her to leave him without her seeing that he isn't good for her or the baby. When you are 18 you're just stubborn and the more your parents are against something the more we want to do it, but she is going to be a mother and she needs to think about her baby. Try to make her see that he isn't going to be a good father and that her life is no longer just about her but that baby she has growing inside her. Once you become a mother you no longer get to be selfish, you have to become selfless.
I hope that things turn out for the best.
2006-12-22 13:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
*Sigh*! Give up! You'll never get her to see what she doesn't want to. Sooner or later, he'll do your work for you, by ditching her, or becoming incredibly annoying or getting thrown back into jail. (Did you ever have the OTHER talk w/her...about EMOTIONAL consequences of relationships? If not...why not now?).
At this stage, she's got her own ideas/life, etc. Your best bet is to STAY OUT OF IT, or she'll just resent you. If he's VIOLENT, that's another ball game altogether, and if he's violent, then you should get involved (call the cops!).
2006-12-22 13:58:46 · answer #6 · answered by SieglindeDieNibelunge 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she will not open her eyes anytime soon. Even though her boyfriend is a dead beat he should know his child and his child should know him.I wouldn't try and break them up because it could hurt your relationship with your daughter and she may stay with him because you don't like her boyfriend.Try and support her but at the same time encourage her to go back to school.Who knows she may leave him alone she is still young.
2006-12-22 14:04:55 · answer #7 · answered by babygirl4300 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's an adult. You probably need to let her find out for herself. If you just push the issue of them breaking up, she'll resent you. I know, because my sister is dating some huge jerk. He doesn't allow her to call her come see her family other than a couple times a week, and she is just "so in love with him". We have tried telling her to break up with him, and she just gets so irate. so, let her be the one to find out on her own. Don't ruin your relationship with your daughter.
2006-12-22 18:38:35 · answer #8 · answered by Annamarie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't the more you trythe further you will push her away,..... Just be there for her when she needs you and let her learn on her own..... Because once someone has a mind set that is it until they change thier own minds...... She will come around when the drama continues and she has the baby.... Congrats Grandma and Good Luck
2006-12-22 13:57:36 · answer #9 · answered by evil_fallen_angel41 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can't and you need to back off! Her life ger choice, if you want her to become even more attatched to him try to interfere. Your daughter is an adult and will make her own relationship decisions.
2006-12-22 13:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take it from exprience don't get involed cause it will only make things worse. just be their for her she will see it her self when hes not their at night to help take care of that baby. just love her and stand by her even though you don't agree with things.
2006-12-23 09:30:44 · answer #11 · answered by sweetgraciesmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋