Did I make a mistake?

Question

Yesterday I put my 5 yr old cat Teddy to sleep. He had severe emotional disturbances for the past 3 years (biting, scratching, marking EVERYTHING) and I put up with it because sometimes he could be affectionate. Since Thanksgiving, he's had 2 (supposed) bladder infections in a row (neither antibiotic worked) and he was horribly constipated. He also dropped an entire pound of body weight for no reason (according to his charts from his last checkup). The vet said it might be bladder stones, but it also might be cancer. He was peeing blood yesterday morning all over my bathroom and I just couldn't see putting him through so much surgery and suffering when I knew he had so many mental health issues already. I just feel so guilty. One woman in the lobby even called me the Grinch who stole my cat's christmas. Was what I did really that awful??? I can't stop crying about it.

To Elmo, even if it was just a stone, which it could have been, it would have required an invasive surgery. And a stone would not have explained why he had lost the weight or why his intestines were blocked. I showed his x-rays to some other veterinarians that my mom works with and they said it looks like cancer. They also said that him urinating blood was the tumor ulcerating. However, since I chose not to put him through the surgery (the diet change would have taken 3 months to work on a stone!) I don't know if it was cancer or a stone. His mental issues also came into play when making my decision. Thank you for making me feel worse with your uneducated opinion.

Everyone else, thank you so much for your kind words of support. I think I needed to hear that. I haven't told anyone what that woman in the lobby said to me yet. You guys were the first, and you were so nice. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And just so you know I tried everything to fix the mental issues, I tried Prozac, Amitrypyline, Feliway, I cleaned his litter box twice a day, changed the type of litter 3 times (scoopable, crystals, Yesterday's News), I even tried Chamomile drops which were "guaranteed to help an anxious cat". He got everything he wanted and I really tried. The vet had even told me earlier, that as far as his mental issues go I had run out of options.

Answer 1

You absolutely did the right thing.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Please go look at this site

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

Answer 2

First of all I'm very sorry for your loss and am sending a huge cyber hug my dear...........

He was young to have those problems but I know how you feel. My cat Rio developed cancer around that age. It was awful and he ended up passing in his sleep. Everyone is different about when they feel it's right to let go. Putting an animal to sleep is a difficult decision. Vet's prefer to recommend it as a last resort, or when they feel it is the best thing for both owner and animal.
In following his advice you did what you feel is best & I commend you for making a very tough decision that some cannot bring themselves to make.

On a personal note I'd like to add that I lost my 10year old Boxer dog as well as my grandmother this year. I'm actually ok more about having the dog put to sleep than my grandmother passing, bc she knew it was her time and was in a lot of pain. She wanted to go, but instead she was "made comfortable" until nature took it's course. It broke my heart that there was nothing we could do for another human being whose time had ultimately come and should have been able to pass peacefully and with some dignity, yet we are able to grant that small piece of dignity in the end for an animal.

In closing, I can only tell you not to grieve for a decision needed to be made, but feel some comfort in the fact that your cat is no longer in pain.

Answer 3

Sorry for your loss, but If you feel you did what was best for Teddy don't pay attention to people that judge you for it. He could have had a whole range of things wrong that like you said would've been very mentally challenging for him. Especially if it meant time at the vets away from home. Not to mention expensive and trying for you. Rest easy in knowing that Teddy is no longer suffering with whatever it was that had him in bad shape. I only wish you peace with this and hopefully you can have a good holiday. You are not a Grinch! My cousin had a great dane that had to be put down on Christmas eve oh my 15 years ago or so. He had twisted something inside and they couldn't fix it. So I know what you are going thru so close to the holiday.

Answer 4

What the women said in the lobby was rude. You and your vet are the only ones that know what you and your cat was going through.
I have had to put down my beloved George b/c he was sick, it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I still cry if I think about it too long and this was over 4 years ago.

You have had a loss in your family and it will take time.

Don't let any body tell you that it was just a pet. Take all the time you need to heal and don't second guess your decison. You did what you thought was best. You said your self you did not want thim to suffer.

Answer 5

I almost said that it sounded like he needed more attention sooner with the bladder and constipation problems, but if he was urinating large amounts of blood, then it probably was some form of cancer. It is too hard to say. The vet probably didn't even know for sure. My vet told me that my 17 yr old cat had a tumor in his belly, but it turned out that after giving him mineral oil 3 times a day for a week he passed the stool that was bound up completely and is still fine today. He is old of coarse, but he is not in pain and gets around well and seems happy. Anyway, as long as you did what you felt was best in your heart, then don't give it another thought.

Answer 6

First, I'm very sorry for your loss. I know it's a cliche, but at least your Teddy is in a much better place now and he's not hurting. (And he can watch the christmas festivities from where he is now ;) ).

I think you did the right thing- it sounds like he was really suffering, and since you did everything you can to help him without causing him more pain, you shouldn't feel guilty.

As for that woman in the lobby, I hope she gets coal for christmas and then rots somewhere very hot. She was being cruel for no reason, and had no right to say that to you- some people are just mean.

Answer 7

First of all, that woman in the lobby should learn to mind her own business. Secondly, you did the right thing. I had a cat that had terrible problems with his bladder and starting bleeding severely. He also was only 5 years old when I had to have him put down and I felt awful about it. My cat did not get mean or anything like yours, he just became reclusive and did not want anyone touching him. Usually, vets will not put a healthy animal down, so if your vet felt that you were putting him down unnecessarily, he would not have done it. Don't beat yourself up over this anymore, you did nothing wrong and your cat is really better off because of it.

Answer 8

I think the lady in the lobby is out of her mind!!!

You made the right decision. Your cat had health problems and you made the decision not to let the poor thing suffer. I take exception to those who will allow the pet to suffer out of their own selfishness. I also know that vet care costs can be excessive and I personally believe that it is not financially wise to go into debt for a pet.

I really believe you did the right thing. Don't let people try to make you feel guilty! Cheer yourself up, and stop crying. It will be ok.

Have a good Christmas.

Answer 9

No, you didn't make a mistake, you made the humane choice. It sounds like you tried everything you could to help the poor guy but you can only do so much. As everyone has said he is in a better place now. As for that lady, don't let her get to you, I can guarantee that she is an extremely bitter and sad individual for whatever reason and she had no right to say anything negative to you. It's ok to cry about it, that's part of the grieving process. I'm really sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

I am so sorry for your loss, especially during the holidays. You were faced with a very tough decision, and it sounds like you did the right thing for your cat. The woman in the lobby had no right to say what she did. It is never easy to lose a loved one, and that woman has absolutely no humanity. I have worked at a couple of vet clinics, and when anyone had to make that decision, we did our very best to keep the client sheltered from the rest of the people in the waiting area because it was such a tough time. You did what you did for Teddy, not for yourself. He is no longer suffering thanks to your sacrifice. I applaude you.

Answer 11

No, you definately didnt. That woman is a miserable old ***** who had no idea what you situation was or how much Teddy was suffering. he would've suffered more if you didn't. And cats arent like people, they know you love them and are doing the best for them. You are a caring and responsible pet owner who had a difficult decision to make, and what business is it of hers? Teddy wouldn't know if it was Christmas or not anyway. Try to have a good Christmas and know that Teddy isn't suffering anymore, and try not to let someone ignorant person's heartless comment take up any more of your time. Try to have a good holiday and remember all the good things about Teddy.