1. The day Microsft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
2. "Sir if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
Reply: Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
3. Why pay a dollar for a bookmark?? Why not use the dollar for bookmark?
4. There are three kinds of people in this world .. those who want things to happen, those that make things happen,and those who just wonder what the hell happened !
5. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend...and A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
6. I have six locks on my door all in a row . When I go out , I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
7. Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door . . .
2006-12-22 05:11:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
8. So I said: 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?'
She said, 'I want to go somewhere I have never been before'
I said, "Try the kitchen.'
9. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know ??
10. All I have ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work...
11. A recent police study found that you are much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run...
12. Doing nothing is very hard to do ... you never know when you're finished.
13. My wife lost all her credit cards, but I am not going to report it . Whoever found them spends less than she does.
14. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits .
15. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it...
16 I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
2006-12-22 05:15:01 · update #1
How about these?
An optimist says the glass is half full
A pessimist says the glass is half empty
An engineer says that glass is twice as large as it needs to be
Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Just a couple more to add to your collection
2006-12-22 05:19:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Are you asking us to rank the quotes that you provided? If so, I rank them in this order:
1. The day Microsoft....
7. Whoever said nothing is impossible...
2. "Sir, if you were my husband..."
4. There are three kinds of people....
6. I have six locks on my door....
5. A successful man....
3. Why pay a dollar....
2006-12-22 13:17:30 · answer #2 · answered by The Guru 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i like
There are three kinds of people in this world .. those who want things to happen, those that make things happen,and those who just wonder what the hell happened
2006-12-22 13:15:33 · answer #3 · answered by mee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
haha, those are funny, especially 5. and 7.
2006-12-22 13:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by altmetal4christ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HERE IS A FEW MORE FOR YA
It’s not my fault I fell in love with you….you tripped me.
Mirrors don’t talk and lucky for you they don’t laugh!!
2006-12-22 14:59:10 · answer #5 · answered by shantel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ohh I love those
I got one
those who are organized are just to lazy to look for things
2006-12-22 13:19:51 · answer #6 · answered by physcochik2477 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hahahahaha preicless, i love #3 why DO peopledo that?? lmao good stuff
2006-12-22 13:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by theburlaces 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha, those were funny...thank u, u just made my day a little brighter
2006-12-22 13:15:40 · answer #8 · answered by deseraa 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
very good, very true for all
2006-12-22 13:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by red sox! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are the funniest quotes ....
great work...:)
2006-12-22 13:16:24 · answer #10 · answered by (^_^) 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋