My Boyfriend is Always Mean to Me, Yells at Me...?

Question

it seems I never do anything right. We have been together for 8 years. He is a morning person; he is also hyper and rushing around doing things and wants me to be like that, but I have a much calmer approach to life. He tells me what to do, how to do it and when to do it and what to say. No one likes being told what to do, and neither do I. Compromises are out; it's his way or the highway. Just because I'm not a morning person, this makes me "lazy." If I feel like rescheduling an appt., why should he care...AND yell at me? And insult me. And be mean and sarcastic? So what if I like to sleep a little later on the weekend than he does? So what if I'm not hungry when he is? It all makes me feel really bad. He is very scornful of me. He asks me to come to the store to help him pick things out, but totally isn't interested in my opinion when we get there. He yells a lot and starts fight every day. I don't know what to do anymore. Thank you.

Answer 1

If I hadn't known that you two have been together so long, I'd have told you to just leave him already. However I read you've been together 8 years. That's a really long time, and I can understand how much you love him. You probably feel like you don't want to throw away 8 years of your life and all of that love over something rash. Have you talked to him about this and told him how you feel? If you have and he hasn't given you a positive response, then I would say he isn't any good for you. Has he always been like this? If so, I think it's time to make your leave. If this is a recent development, you might ask him if something is wrong that he hasn't told you about. A lot of stress might make an otherwise normal person snap like that. Either way, if he can't even recognize that he's hurting you, you shouldn't stay with him. I know it takes a lot of strength to stand your ground and go, but it may be better for you in the long run.

Answer 2

Honey, there is no man in the world that worth your nerve cells. :) You have been with this man for 8 years. It's a long time. I have been married to one like that. You will always feel worhtless and like a prisoner. He is not your father, not your teacher, neither your owner. This man is a control freak with no respect for individuality. No compromise? In every relationship it takes two to make it work. You can try as hard as you can to please him but you will never be good enough for him. Your boyfriend makes you feel bad to make himself feel better. So think about it: you let him abuse you for 8 years, he thinks its ok with you. If one day you guys will decide to get married he will plan your wedding and your life would be the way your relationship right now or even worse, because now he will feel like he TRULY OWN you.
Damp the bastard and find a better deal. Every person deserve respect and admiration for talents. Compromise is the key to any relationships. Think about it.
Good luck. Write me if you need a friend. [e-mail] Take care. Anyuta

Answer 3

Judging by your actions, you like being treated that way by your guy. Why else would you accept it for 8 years? If he's done this for 8 years or even for a large part of 8 years, it's not going to get better and it will, based on my experience, get worse.
BTW, your first line is represents an oxymoron to me--boyfriends aren't always mean, yell at their SO etc. etc. You don't have to live like that.

Answer 4

wow, it seems like he's way too comfortable with you and needs a reality check. If compromise is not an option then let him hit the highway until he either opens his eyes to what he has and changes his behavior or leaves for good and then you'll know it's not really meant to be; either way no one, including you deserves to be treated that way in any kind of relationship - it's mental abuse and NOT worth it.

Answer 5

When you get to the point where his opinion does not matter to you, then you will leave him. Right now, you seem overly concerned with what he thinks of you. You should be getting as far away from him as possible. He is controlling, manipulative, and abusive.

Step back and look at him dispassionately. Would you be friends with a woman if she treated you this way? Would you work for a employer who treated you this way?

I say, "Run!"

Good luck

Answer 6

Since he is just a boyfriend and not a husband, I would suggest you break up with him. No one deserves to be treated like that. 8 years is a long time, but I would think a new relationship filled with laughter, friendship, peace, and happiness is much better than 8 years of abuse. Do yourself a favor and breakup with him.

Answer 7

possibly you need to have an approach an opinion!! do not enable this boy run your existence if he's yelling at you perpetually and he's declaring he's not, what's in shop for you at the same time as he's mad?? And definite, you may go away him! that is a chance and there is a lot of help in case you want it available. you may't replace him. you may't make him end. you may't enable all of us take care of you want that!!

Answer 8

Eight years is a long time to be with someone and to deal with that. If he wasn't like that when u first met him then maybe u should try and talk to him and figure why he is doing that now. Maybe he is insecure about hisself and is taking it out on you because he knows that u care for him. Do you still love him? If you do seek counceling. If not then find someone else and what you are looking for.

Answer 9

I know it is hard to leave someone, especially if you love them, but he is mentally and emotionally abusing you, and you deserve better than that. Tell him you don't have to take his crap and he should love you for who you are, not because you're his little effing slave. If he still acts the same, choose the highway option and find someone who will treat you like a princess.

Answer 10

Omg! Find A new bf! TRUST ME! He shouldnt care the way you are! I mean my bf is A morning person and I sure the hell aint. But he doesnt mind at all. Get A better guy!