How do I get my daughter and husband to bond?

Question

My husband can get frustrated with my 2 yr old daughter at times: when she cries for no reason, says "no" to us, or just doesn't obey. He will get really upset and will yell at her to not do what she is doing. Lately when we get home from work or even in the morning when he is getting dressed she runs away from him, doesn't want him to talk to her, and wants to be with me the whole time. What do I do? I want to get them to start bonding again with each other. We both take her to daycare together and it seems like the only time they aren't fighting is when they kiss each other goodbye in the morning. HELP!!!! I want them to get along! They are family by blood for crying out loud!

Answer 1

I saw this on Nanny 911. they had a 'daddy time'. Mom left for a couple of hours. while mom was gone dad did 'girl' things with his daughter. one thing I remember was he painted her toenails. She loved it and it helped dad and his toddler girl get along better. they did nails, played games, and made a simple snack together from a kids cook cookbook.

Answer 2

My husband can get frustrated with my 2 yr old daughter at times: when she cries for no reason, says "no" to us, or just doesn't obey. He will get really upset and will yell at her to not do what she is doing.

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geee.. you are being to hard on the kid she just two years old..

how bout this dont just say no, talk to the kid in a very nice and lovely manner and tell her why is it not right to do that something you and your husband doesnt want her to do. that will give the kid the knowledge and reason not to do so.

second the two of you should be more kind may the kid is frightened of her father whenever he yells at her. after that issue is resolved go out in a park and play some games that includes coordination with the team so that the kid will have to communicate to her father evben if she doesnt want to, also help her verbalize what she feels so that you parents know where to start and not to be lost on what to do to resolve the issue.

you have to know or have an idea on what area do you need some reinforcement.

just remember that your daughter is just 2yrs old.

Answer 3

as opposed to other opinions, your husband DOES NOT need parenting classes. Children go through this. Especially at this age a child will develop a "favorite" so to speak. This could last a day or a few months. Eventually though, one day you'll come home and your daughter will be all over daddy and completely ignore you. The best thing to do is just leave it be. if your daughter runs from your husband don't let her run to you. if you baby her and pet her you're only prolonging this stage. Our oldest daughter went through this and it was really hard on my husband. so much so that sometimes he would sit and cry after one of these episodes and ask me why she didn't like him. now they have a wonderful relationship and our younger daughter is starting this stage in her life only, i'm the one she runs from.

Answer 4

I think your husband needs to learn that discipline doesn't mean shouting. I can sympathise with him as toddlers are such hard work. I remember being almost in tears one day with my eldest son. I took him shopping wih me and he wouldn't do a thing he was told. He caused such a scene in the middle of the shop and knocked over a display, kicking and screaming aaargh it was dreadful. I think when you end up shouting you've lost control and given your child more power, you've shown them that they've gotten under your skin that much. You can be firm wih your child without having to shout at them. I do agree with another answer on here though, when she runs from daddy, you mustn't mollycoddle her. It's only reinforcing her belief that daddy is scary and also teaches her the old "if dad says no, ask mum"
talk with your husband and ask him to stop shouting when she's naughty. Instead he should crouch down so he's face to face with her and not towering over her and tell her firmly but calmly that she's being naughty and he'd like her to stop. Go for a day out on your own and leave the two of them to get on with it. Go for a coffee with a friend or get your hair done, enjoy having some free time and let them have some alone time. Remember, she will grow out of this. Good luck x

Answer 5

It is important that when talking to your husband about this that you don't use words like you always and you never. You should say, " I feel like it isn't best for our daughter when we loose our cool in front of her. I know there are things that we should both do differently, but I think that one thing we should try is not raising our voice at her." I think that a nice idea you should try is what I personally do with my son. When he is crying for any reason besides pain I take him to his room. Children are allowed to feel those emotions, but you shouldn't have to suffer because of it. You aren't being mean by doing this. I started this as soon as he could walk and now when he gets upset he goes to his room on his own. It's not a punishment because he isn't doing anything wrong. When he stops crying he comes out of his room and is just fine. The saying no is something that deserves a punishment. Your husband is probably just frustrated because he doesn't know how to punish her for this. When my son said no to me I said in a stern voice "You can't tell mommy and daddy no" Then he was punished. Different punishments work for different children. You can try a timeout chair or standing in a corner. One thing that works good for me is taking away his bedtime story. He really enjoys it, and when I come into his room to tuck him in I remind him why I am not reading and then I tell him I love him and if he does better I will read again tomorrow. All children misbehave no matter what books you read. All desicions about handling it should be made together. You should suggest some ideas to your husband on how to handle the bad times. Then maybe you should suggest to take a night out every week for family game time. You could all play child like games before bedtime no matter how your child behaves that week. You should take this time to praise her and this will help them have good times together. Or, it sounds like your daughter and husband might be morning people. On a Saturday you could get up and have game time or go for a field trip then when they're at their best. Your husband and your daughter will start to look forward to this time together. I hope it all works out for you. It's nice of you worry about your families relationship. You are being a good mom.

Answer 6

Well, your daughter is only 2 and I have a 2yr old daughter also. I know it can get frustrating because all it seems like they want to say to you is "No" and be disobedient, but honestly it just takes patience. When he tells her "No" more than 2 times and she keeps doing whatever it is he can pop her but when he is telling her "No" he can do it in a firm voice but not yelling, there is a difference. She is learning and testing both of you when she is being disobedient. It will work out, he just needs to calm down a little bit, they will be the best of friends, just give it a little time. Good luck.

Answer 7

The only way you will get them to bond is to get him to accept her for who she is. He has to understand that children are loud messy basically disgusting little creatures. But they can be taught to be quiet, they can be cleaned and they can be taught to love. Your daughter won't want to be around him if all he is going to do is yell at her, and he won't want to be around her until he accepts that the stuff she does that upsets him she will grow out of if it is handled properly. Try to get him to approch her on a more even level, instead of yelling at her to stop what she is doing, which by the way she is only doing for attention. Have him go to her get on her level and ask her nicely to please stop yelling or what ever it is she is doing. Or have him play a game with her if she is acting out from boredom, which happens alot with 2 year olds. The rift between them will only get wider as she gets older if you don't fix it now. Good Luck and God bless.

Answer 8

Sounds like daddy needs to learn patience. It is important for daddy and daughter to bond. So a good idea is to let your husband take your daughter out like once or twice a week. Like have him take her to the park or someplace fun. Also when your daughter wants something let your husband do it for her.

Answer 9

Talk with your husband about this. It is the one that made her afraid of him, now he has to make her un-afraid of him. Have them go to the park, go get ice cream, go see a movie, let him get her dressed in the morning, just father-daughter time. He needs to remember that she is just two years old...they don't say terrible twos for nothing.

Answer 10

Is your husband going through a lot of stress right now? He sounds like he needs an outlet and yelling at a 2yr old is not the right one. You need tell him that its not healthy for your family to have a lot of yelling going on and it needs to stop.